A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading New Moon: Chapter 19 (The Race)

The song for this chapter is Candle by The White Tie Affair


Last week I got the news that Paramore, known for such hits as That’s What You Get and Misery Business, will be contributing two new songs to the Twilight movie soundtrack. Besides setting off a glorious frenzy (adding Paramore + Muse + Twilight obviously gets people excited) the news has also made me aware that the movie people were probably grinning at us the entire time. If anyone remembers, Paramore was the band that the Twilight cast introduced on the VMA’s, before we knew Paramore was part of the movie. Sneaky… πŸ˜€

With that in mind, I flipped to Chapter 19 as Bella and Alice were boarding a plane to Italy. When they got on the plane I was immediately reminded of my favorite parts of flying: namely, all of it, save for the awful prices of food behind security. Takeoffs are easily the best part, though Bella didn’t even seem to notice, being so distracted worrying about Edward and getting to Italy on time.

And finally, mid-flight, the identity of the great and legendary Volturi have been exposed.Β  I have been wondering since Twilight what the Volturi are, and why people like the Cullens, powerful enough as it is, would fear or respect them. The fact that the Volturri are so old, and occupy an ancient side of Italy, lends even more mystery to them. If they do not age, it must feel odd to them for the transition from Roman Centurion outfits to modern clothes (besides the obvious shift from cart-and-buggy to the grand horseless carriage).

Just as I had been hoping for back while reading Twilight, the Volturi serve as some type of police force for vampires: keeping them secret, and thus in a way keeping them partially civil, as they can’t simply run out in the open and make tasty snacks out of us.

I felt so sorry for the flight attendant, whose eyes are probably continuing to widen as he overhears bits and pieces of Bella and Alice’s conversation (gasps, questions if Edward has killed himself yet, Bella begging Alice to bite her, etcetera). I also found a wonderful new tagline for Bella on page 442:

Ruining everything.

Destroying the world.

All in a moment of klutziness.

Bella Swan.

Nabbing that sports car seemed remarkably easy; but then again, this is Alice we’re talking about. Going down the road at a speed that would make Edward proud, Alice and Bella will be to Volterra in no time.


— The TwilightGuy shop has been opened! Check out all the designs on t-shirts, bags, and more! Visit the store here and help support the website with the cool designs (all made by yours truly πŸ˜€ ).

–IMPORTANT: If you are someone who has been featured in a TwilightGuy Reports story, and have not yet received your prize, PLEASE EMAIL ME. I have not heard back from many of you, and my emails may be stuck in your spam filter.

— My posts this week will be very scattered due to enormous college exams.

— Twilight Series Theories are doing an interview with the Twilight Music Girls, a Twilight inspired band! If you want to send in questions, visit this page, or visit here for more info.

— Hello to everyone who saw Bailey (NoMoreMarbles) and I on BlogTV! Due to the unexpected amount of people, it was impossible to answer all the questions. Please send your questions ahead of the next show to [email protected] and we will answer as many as we can next time!



47 Responses

  1. I’m so glad you’re finally to this part! The following chapters are some of my favorite in the series. Hurry! Don’t you feel the urgency?

  2. The excitement is killing me! I can not wait for you to read the subsequent chapters.
    And I just checked out the shop – awesome designs. πŸ˜€

  3. Finally! I can’t believe you actually took so long! I couldn’t put it down in this part! Quickly now, next chapter!

    Nice tagline, by the way. πŸ˜€
    Can already see the posters of Bella: Laying on the ground (having just fallen over) while the world crumbles around her. Ahahah.

    Next chapter! Please, please, please! The urgency and suspense!

  4. I can’t believe you can put the book down at this point. You must have the self-control of an Edward!!

    Hope your tests go well.

  5. Your pictures crack me up. At this point in the book I was holding my breath, trying so hard not to let it out until I knew what what happening with Edward… I can only imagine what it’s like for you. Are ya blue yet?

  6. I doubt that clothes or cars feel strange to the Volturi. I mean, they’re vampires, always looking for faster, better and more comfortable things since I imagine it’s more annoying to them to have to go by slow horse-carriage if they could run a billion time as fast. (But I could imagine them giggling about a few fashion trends)

  7. Yeah… i love the sports car…
    but you guys were great on BlogTV. I looked at the clock i was like OME they were on the thing for about four hours. DAAAAANNNNGG

    Can’t wait for next time…but do you think you can do it an hour or two earlier?

  8. It was actually a business man eavesdropping, not a flight attendant.

    One of my favorite Alice quotes is in this chapter. “How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?”

  9. Kaleb,
    Glad to see you are still heading to Volterra. (Glad your birthday went well, too.) Here we see how much Alice cares for Bella and her brother. She is truly the best friend you have always wished for. Keep reading to find what Volturri life is like. Here I realized how much Bella and Edward’s love had grown. Be careful not to drive like a Cullen. -And add a ‘twilight mom’ maternity shirt. It will be a fantastic seller. Keep up your awesome site. Only 54 days until the release of the movie!! Oh, gosh!! Goodbye from Idaho!!

  10. You’ve got to read better buddy. The flight attendant wasn’t the one eaves dropping. It was some guy by them who had a laptop or something. I can’t imagine taking this long to read these books. Are you a Twilight freak or not? Most of us don’t even put them down to eat. I guess then we wouldn’t get to read your hilarious blog though would we? OK, keep it up. Just for our entertainment sake.

  11. I loooove the t-shirts! and i will definitely buy one as soon as my parents give me my allowance… =]

  12. Whoa, I guess the strange person on the plane with the headphones is important? I noticed him. But when I was talking about the flight attendant, it was because of this line:

    Page 436:
    “I do!” I gasped. “Oh Alice, do it now! I could help you so much– and I wouldn’t slow you down. Bite me!”
    “Shh,” she cautioned. THE ATTENDANT was looking in our direction again.

    So yeah, that’s why I said that in the post πŸ˜€

  13. Maybe it’s just me, but all of your posts lately have been rather generic. Not about what happens in them, but about your opinion. You don’t seem to say what YOU think of the chapters anymore. Which is really the only reason i read this. If i wanted an over view of the book, i could just read it myself. I want the GUYS perspective on this!

  14. Sorry Maddy — I try to accommodate everybody! First, people complained I talked about myself too much. Then they complained my posts were just summaries and they wanted to hear more about me. Then it was that I gave my opinion too much. Then they complained I gave it too little. It is hard to cover all the bases for every reader in every post! I try πŸ™‚

  15. No problem! I understand! ^_^ But yeah, I’ve read Twilight over 10 times, Eclipse 7 times, New Moon 5 times and Breaking dawn 2 now. SO it’s just that i don’t really care about what you are reading, i want your input. But i can understand where you are coming from. I couldn’t imagine being you, with everyone yelling at you if you say or do something wrong.

  16. Kaleb I think you do awesome just by doing what youre doing. No? I think I like your opinions and comidic views most of all though.

  17. i love this chapter πŸ˜€
    Alice is my 3rd favorite character (after Bella and Edward). Although after BD, Seth is pretty close.

    have fun with exams… or at least try and survive them.


  18. forgot: awesome shop and awesome designs!

    but WHY don’t you have any Twilight gnomes for sale?? seriously, you need to sell some gnompires, lol

    and could we maybe get a little more of your opinions again? it’s nice to hear your perspective about everything that happens in the books. just saying.

  19. Ehh, not too thrilled about Paramore. Muse, of course, thrills me. I still think they could have been a little more creative than Paramore. Maybe picked a “nobody band” with a good vibe.

    Anyway, it’s impossible for me to comprehend how you didn’t post this in two different chapters. I don’t even remeber them being seperate in all of the times I have read New Moon (being that it IS my favorite). Anyway, congratulations on the progress; however, your more recent posts have been kind of short. Not like the Kaleb Nation lengthy posts I used to gush over! Haha.

    Good luck with your exams!!!

  20. Ye grand horseless carriage… I can’t imagine the thought process you must have gone through to get from “terrifying vampire overlords” to “horseless carriages of the 20th century”. But maybe that’s why you’re Kaleb and get paid to write books and the rest of us don’t.

    You know what I think, Kaleb? You should write what you want to write on here. You can’t possibly make everyone happy. Of course you should consider the constructive criticism people offer, but unless you receive hate mail the quantity of a cheerleader’s monthly texts (20,000, in case you were wondering, I happened to overhear that little gem the other day), you shouldn’t be too concerned.

    Your conversation with Bailey on BlogTV was hilariously random, as usual, but it was so crowded it was kind of insane. Hopefully the pre-requested questions will help those of us who are stuck in the waiting room follow along with the video.

    Best of luck with your exams (bring a little gnome in your pocket, they’re better than leprechaun as far as luck is concerned XD)

  21. The tagline is magnificent. I think *that’s* what they should have on the movie posters.

    I’m a first time reader. LOVE this. You get 19 cool points.

  22. Guess what Kaleb? I was sitting on the bus today and this girl sat beside me and she was rummaging through her bag and BAM! She took out her copy of New Moon πŸ™‚ I was SOOO excited, I wanted to scream “NEWWW MOOOONN!” to her but then she’d probably think I was nuts. Hahah. But if I had to guess, I think you’re ahead of her in the book πŸ™‚

  23. I love this site. So much so that reading this post was my personal reward for finishing my mountain of history homework for tonight.

    “Look Ma, no Horse!” I laughed so hard at that!!! πŸ™‚ and I also loved your new tagline. I feel kinda sorry for th flight attendant and the other passengers too. That would be so weird to hear. Glad you’re moving along thru NM. Keep reading! You’re about to meet some very important people!

  24. No, please, give us your opinion! If people don’t want to hear about you on your site then they don’t have to read it. πŸ™‚

    I love this part of the book… EEEEEE.

  25. I am so very happy that I stumbled upon this website- it makes me laugh everyday! the pictures you create are magnificent- and i have to say that if you put “ye grande horseless carriage” on a shirt, i’d buy it in a heartbeat.

  26. Okay, that horse line was amazing. And Bella’s tagline… the sad thing is, I’m the only person I know who’s actually as clumsy at Bella. Like, seriously.
    Anywhos, love your post. This is actually my worst favorite part in the book, besides where Edward leaves (which you haven’t read that part right before Sam saves her yet have you?). I hate it, because it’s so close to being back to *them* and they have to be on a stupid plane.
    And, trust me. You’ll love the Volturi. At least, kinda.

  27. i absolutely LOVE that line on 442. no one else ever seemed to care, haha. but i love it. it’s hilarious. this is one of my favorite chapters of all the books.

  28. LOL! So glad you’re getting so far! I was wondering about that flight attendant, too, actually… Wonder what the poor guy did when he got home? πŸ˜‰

    As for the T-shirt designs… I LOVE THEM! My birthday’s in a couple weeks, so guess what I’m asking for for my birthday! πŸ˜‰

  29. Hey, I love your site, I check in religiously everyday between 5:00-8:00, but I noticed you don’t put in as many of the red convos where you change around what they’re saying. That’s my favorite part. I still love the pictures though, you’re really creative.

  30. I just went to Forks for my first time… Volterra is next on the list…

    How can you stop at this chapter!! ps. the rest of this book is my favorite part of all 4 books.

  31. RAWR, curse your professors for giving you so many exams! Don’t they know that they’re leaving you with no time to update your blog? Ha. Ack, the dreaded PEMDAS. I always remember it as Polly eats magical donuts and sandwiches. Not very funny, though. Spose i’ll start using your way. I seriously can’t wait until you start Eclipse! Its my favorite book!

  32. Nononono,
    You’ve got it ALL wrong.
    The best part of a plane trip is the landing.
    MUCH more reassuring.
    And yay for Paramore and Muse.
    The Volturi is so close now…
    The suspense was just about killing me, I think.
    Almost there..

  33. KALEB.!!!
    You just have to create an
    “I am a Twilight Grandpa”
    I’m serious. Its not fair to all the Twilight Grandfathers out there.!!! My Grandpa read the Twilight Series and it would be so cool if i could get him a shirt that said “I am a Twilight Grandpa”

  34. aaah!! the twilight soundtrack is going to be AWESOMEEEEEEEE:D
    haha, rob was probably trying to say that they were going to be on the soundtrack before whats his face so rudely interupted! haah, i will never get over that…

  35. omg i absolutely COULD NOT put it down at this part… my mother actually grounded me because when she told me to put the book down and do my chores i said “NO!! hes about to die and theyre trying to save him but he might DIE! and i MUST find out what happens!” and then i ran to my room so i could finish it in peace and quiet… i didnt put it down again untill i was finished the book.

  36. I just got to Chapter 19 and it is freakin’ missing. It skips it and goes to Chapter 20, 21, then it has 20 and 21 again and then finally continues to 22. This is gonna be worth a bunch.

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