A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 11 (The Two Things At The Very Top Of My Things-I-Never-Want-To-Do List)

The song for this chapter is by Looking Glass by Birthday Massacre


If the title of this chapter was made of stone, I feel as if my entire post might suffocate under its weight. Jacob Black is obviously not one for truncating his thoughts into bite-sized morsels, and if there was so much as another word added, it appears the title would spill into three lines. I seriously dread any attempt to write an entire book from Jacob’s point of view (if anyone says one word about Ru***t N**n, I’ll spit ink) but if Stephenie happened to attempt such a task, I would expect chapter titles such as:

Chapter 5: There Are Two Things On This Planet I Hate Most And Only One Of Them Sparkles

Chapter 9: I Forgot My Shirt Again But That’s Okay I’m Teh Hawtness And All Dah Other Boys Are Shrimps

Chapter 37: There Are Two Thing On This Planet I Hate Most And One Of Them Is My Shirt

Chapter 38: The Other Sparkles, Do You Understand What I’m Saying Yet?

But quite seriously the chapter titles are one of the funniest things I’ve read in this book. Gives a nice glimpse into what Jacob’s really thinking, especially when those thoughts have to do with his Things-He-Never-Wants-To-Do list.

One such thing on this list, I am guessing, would be killing Bella Swan. But the voice of the Alpha has come between what he wants to do, and is now forcing him into doing what the pack dictates. Seeing the Cullens fight as they trained against the newborns in Eclipse has inadvertently given the werewolves insight into their fighting styles, and of course where their weaknesses are.


But as I suspected, Jacob simply cannot go along with this. How could anyone, no matter how much mind control was being used, actually make themselves kill someone they loved? Sam doesn’t even understand this at all. If Jacob was to be a part of this massacre of the vampires and Bella, it wouldn’t just fade away like an old sore. Jacob would have to live with this for the rest of his life, and Sam would either be forced to send him away or to constantly use his Alpha authority to make him follow orders. The separation of the tribes was inevitable.

It’s curious how the werewolf history comes into play, because up until now you’ve really had two chiefs of this tribe, but one of them hadn’t yet realized his birthright. It’s a bit of a revelation of sorts that I hadn’t seen coming so much, because I had forgotten the history of Ephraim Black and Levi Uley. Jacob Black ain’t part of nobody’s tribe: Jacob Black is a Lone Ranger.

"There is THE pack, and then there is me." -- Jacob Black
"There is THE pack, and then there is me." -- Jacob Black

Still, nice to see that Seth decided to be on Jacob’s side, even though I didn’t doubt for a moment he’d find a way to join him. Unfortunately for feuds, when you get to know your enemy, it becomes uncommonly hard to kill them.

But now it has come to the point where Bella is sinking. She can’t even sleep on the couch anymore, but has to be hooked up to all sorts of medical gadgets just to keep her alive. What is this growing inside of her? If Carlisle can’t even use an ultrasound, no one has any idea what is growing in her, or if it is even living — vampire, human or not. Just seeing Edward’s reaction, I’m getting nightmarish images of the monster at the end of Hellboy.

However, I have a strange trusting of Bella’s maternal instincts. Despite my reserves of faith in her usual good judgment, she doesn’t seem willing to let anyone close to her that might hurt her child. Rosalie, who hasn’t been able to have a child of her own, seems to be very protective of Bella — almost as if through Bella, she might finally get the resolution she needs. Though seeing how Bella is deteriorating, I can’t blame everyone around her for being concerned. No one knows what this is. Obviously, and ominously, no one has tried having a vampire’s child before, and survived to tell about it.

QUESTION FOR THE COMMENTS: If you were a werewolf, would you want to be a member of Jacob’s pack OR the Alpha of your own?


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93 Responses

  1. TEAM JAKE!!
    Sorry. Actually, I definitely would be in his pack. Although Jacob's mind is tortured for the time being, I'd still love to have an all access pass for his thoughts. Although I'm really headstrong & an alright leader, I'd rather not have command of other people's lives.. way too much pressure. Plus, I LOVELOVELOVE Seth. He's my fave character after Jacob.

    The chapter titles made my life. 🙂

  2. I don't have too much commentary for the middle of Breaking Dawn. I was exhausted, as it was 2-5 in the morning, I was in complete shock, and I wasn't registering the horror around me. Not until the end of Jacob did I start to wake from a zombie state equal to that of Bella in New Moon. I did think Rosalie's intentions were to make sure the “thing” was okay by taking care of Bella, hoping Bella would die in the process and she would get to keep it. I still sort of think that, since her intentions were never fully explained.

    As for your question, I would want to be apart of Jacob's pack, because it sounds like being in a pack of your own is insanely lonely.

  3. Ahaha. I was just thinking the same thing. Seriously, guys, think before you type.

  4. Question is too tiring to answer. Sam is stupid. Final answer.

    Awesome post. Going to bed now.

  5. I would most certainly want to be part of some else's pack. I have horrible leadership skills, and am much better at following.

  6. I've always hated Jacob and his bitterness against Edward and the rest of the Cullens, and how he wouldn't let go of Bella.
    But now seeing that conflict between the pack, I really have to admit, although it goes against Team Edward (don't tell anyone), but I'd want to be a member of… Jacob's pack. From reading the prior books, you start to become attached to the Cullens, and don't want anything to happen to them. I know why Sam hates the Cullens, and want to kill them: he hates any kind of vampires, and they broke the all-important treaty.

    Great post, and I'm looking forward to your opinions in further chapters!

  7. Well, if I had to be in a pack, I would be in Jacob's. But I would much rather be a alpha. I like to follow my own path. And I dont like people following me down it.

  8. Jake's chapter titles added a much needed comic relief to the book. I would definitely want to be in his pack!!

    Loved the post! So much more to come!!!

    Oh, and His Golden Eyes is back up!! Problem solved – stupid hacker type!!! Come visit our forums and chat with us, why don't cha!!

  9. I would most definitely be on Jake's. I'm not much of a leader. I might be able to be an alpha of my own if no one else wanted to be in my pack. I would be fine with that…but if that wasn't the case, then I would be in Jake's, and not just because he is a way better leader than me, it would be nice to stare at him for hours at a time without anyone thinking I am actually stalking him. *sigh* As you can see, I have already thought this over for about…..3 minutes…..so, I should know what I'm talking about.

  10. Seth is the best person in the world!!! I love him more than Edward(gasp) only sometimes though. It depends on what chapter I'm reading……. HEHE Well I think you are dead on about Rosalie and the baby and all that jazz……
    I would probably want to be part of Jake's pack because he is an easygoing guy and he doesn't try to be the alpha and he knows he's not perfect. Sam acts like he is and just makes decisions and doesn't think about it enough. It would be hard to ride the fine line of being the leader and not over-leading. Also I don't think I could handle the responsibility of being Alpha because if you do something wrong that your pack doesn't like then it's not gonna be a secret and you would always have to be thinking two steps ahead. I just can't think that much!

  11. I have always been on Team Jacob, because he is a little more daring and doesn’t follow the rules. For this reason exactly is why I would join his pack and not stay with Sam's. Even though I adore Sam, Quail, Emery, and all of the other wolfs/shape shifters, I would feel the need to break free of the large bonding pack. Also, imagining Jacob in this much pain would break my heart. I would have to go comfort him even though he may not want it.

  12. I'd be in my own so I could slaughter the Cullens. I'd ralley up th Volturi, give them a lesson on being scary, and lead us to victory. Then we'd stop by La Push and take down some werewolves–I mean “shape shifters” which really makes no sense. If they're really shape shifters, why didn't Meyer call them that in the first place? Oh, right. Because Meyer needed a reason to build up a fight and if everyone thought they were werewolves, the build up could happen, but since they were really shape shifters nobody would have to die! Oh, I get it. Meyer did this so she could have a stupid ending.

  13. As I have agreed Kaleb – I love Jacob's long chapter titles too. His way of thinking is so different from Edward's maturity wise, yet sometimes he gets things that Edward does not.

    Keep reading Kaleb, keep reading… you are in for some shockers.

  14. I hate to make Kaleb spit ink…but I was wondering what “Ru***t N**n” meant, too.

    As for the question – I'd like to be in Jacob's pack, but only if Leah left. 🙂 She would be way to sulky to be around for any prolonged amount of time.

  15. Saint Peter, I believe is where the term comes from. You know, the guy who guards the pearly gates in all those jokes.

  16. It would be fun to be in Jacob's pack. He's real funny and wont make you do anything you didnt want to. He's hot and he's funny it wouldnt be so bad. Plus he'd be around the Cullens alot so it would be a good way to just oggle at the Cullen boys….even if I'm a shapeshifter with the keen sense of smell and an inate instict to hate vamps….I'd still appreciate there beauty.

  17. hehhe…i also like jacob's titles….

    well…of course i want to be in jacob's pack..im also a leech lover….

    and it was better when leah joined the pack…
    i hope you get to read SURPRISE…you'll like it!!!!!!

  18. Um, I would most definitely want to be in Jacob's pack. Yeahh.

    Though I might get in trouble with everything that goes through my head.

  19. I wouldn't even want to be a wolf. If I could I'd rather be a Cullen, they are just an awesome family. But to answer the question, I would never want to be a part of Jacob's pack. Are you kidding, that annoying, immature, teenage boy who drives me crazy most of the time. I think I'd go insane. The only good part is that Seth is now with Jacob, and Seth ROCKS. He is definitely my favorite wolf.

  20. Another excellent post as usual, Kaleb. I loved the chapter headings for the Jacob chapters. Not only do you get a bit of insight into how Jacob thinks, but you also get the changed POV. Bella sitting on a couch in pain would have missed the good part of the story.

    Sam is wrong. I remember how I felt as Sam was browbeating Seth and Jacob and I felt such a sense of freedom when Jacob found a way to escape. Sam is moving on fear, while Seth knows that the vampires are good people and inherently trusts they would do the right thing. Jacob doesn't know what to think except he's just had to grow up in a real hurry. I would have joined Jacob's pack in a heartbeat, I could not have done what Sam was trying to get them to do.

  21. “Unfortunately for feuds, when you get to know your enemy, it becomes uncommonly hard to kill them.”
    This part of the post reminded me of Ender's Game, which is a book from which I draw a lot of inspiration. Anyway, I wouldn't want to be an Alpha, as long as I trusted the Alpha to make smart choices. It seems like too much responsibility.

  22. id certainly be in jacobs pack i soo love jacob and id loved to see him shirtless every time lol well thats just a perk but i would like to kno wat is in his mine and besides im not much of a leader i couldnt really stand up and talk for everyone i mite make mistakes and someone mite get hurt and i would blame myself but on the other hand im lettin jacob be the bad guy but id help everyone the best i could i could be jacobs beta or watever.

  23. I would be part of Jake's pack 🙂 Seth is part of it, so of course I would follow him around. Seth is one of my favorite characters! He's so cute 😛

  24. Well I would probably be a member of Jacob’s pack. I’m not leader and even though I have strong opinions about things sometimes. I don’t think I could be a great leader. It’s hard though to say which you would rather be, since being either of them you would pros and cons in both situations. But I guess I would rather be in Jacob’s pack.

  25. im teh hawtness lol i didnt see that one comming i didnt think stephenie would actually know wat that spelled haha

  26. I always prefer the way Edward puts Jacob down in that calm way. You know, that “Do you understand that, mongrel?” and “I will break your jaw for her.”… just download something about that calm anger. This clip just seemed a TAD over the top. And I love how angry Bella is when Jacob kisses her. Download filmes @D0-W-n10@D_F1L R

  27. I havent checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

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