A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 24 (Surprise)

The song for this chapter is The World Should Revolve Around Me by Little Jackie (suggested by A.J.)

I’ve always wondered what would happen when Bella’s next birthday came around. Vampire birthdays must be something akin to those leap-year babies who are born on February 29, where you probably DO celebrate your birthday every year even though it isn’t TECHNICALLY your birthday. Does this mean that when Bella is 100 years old she will still celebrate her 18th birthday? Or will she prompt the local doctors to put her in the nearest padded room when a by-all-appearances 19 year old girl claims to actually be 100 (this is completely disregarding the fact she claims to be a vampire, of course).

And oh Renesmee: how quickly you have everyone wrapped around your finger. I think everyone there has different reasons to spoil that little child: from Rosalie, who probably thinks the baby is a reincarnation of the child she never had, to Edward, who’s just in awe, and Jacob, who didn’t hesitate a second when it came to imprinting. The little child will pretty much get anything she wants from anyone:

Alice shrugged. “In Rose’s arms. Or Jacob’s. Or Esme’s. You get the picture. [Renesmee] has never been set down in her entire life. She’s going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence.

I feel a book idea coming on:


Obviously a bestseller

Opening presents is awkward business, so I can sympathize with Bella. It’s one of those things where you’re sitting on the floor, surrounded by things people have given you, and ripping off the wrapping paper like a beast to see what’s inside. Then what do you do? I never quite got that one down. I mean, of course you’re surprised and grateful, but then there comes the point where you really must be moving on, as there’s other gifts to attend to. Then there’s that whole part where 10-20 people are staring at you while you uncover this year’s spoils. For some reason, I always wished I never had to open my presents while the guests were still there, because I felt bad that I was getting all this cool stuff and all they got was some baked bread covered in icing.

However, I don’t think I would honestly care what any of them thought if I got a cottage for my birthday, complete with a garden, columns and ‘a few extra thousand square feet’. Oh, if only I had a few extra thousand square feet to throw around, you know, on a whim. I might fill those extra thousand square feet with a few Aston Martin Vanquishes.

I don’t know why, but from the description of Bella’s cottage I can’t help but imagine it somewhat akin to Jack Skellington’s house from Nightmare Before Christmas:


But of course, with thousands of feet more of room and less books about Christmas.

It still strikes me as a bit odd that everything seems to have worked out so perfectly for Bella. I mean, she’s got Edward and Jacob, and the awkwardness and hatred is gone, as well as the war and the feuding and pretty much every trouble she had before she became a vampire. Now she has a nice car and a cottage, and is surrounded by people who want nothing more than to take care of her children while she and Edward spend nice, lonnnng nights in their cottage.

“Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn’t think to ask for, in the same day.” – Edward, pg. 483

It’s all like a fabulous dream for Bella now. But how long will it actually last? She’s got forever ahead of her, and things are never quite as perfect as they seem. Is there a war brewing that we don’t know about? Something has to be happening that could threaten this beautiful world that Bella has finally found herself in. I just hope she doesn’t get too comfortable there before it happens.

This post is one which was recovered after the Great Website Server Failure, and is missing most of its previous comments.



42 Responses

  1. No Question Kaleb? Whatever do I write about?

    Of course, this is Bella. Things can't go smooth for very long…. or can they?

  2. Haha, Nightmare Before Christmas FOR THE WIN!
    Baked bread covered in icing. Eh… you mean CAKE? Who wouldn't want cake? Everyone loves cake!!

  3. No questions!!
    And you may think of something from the Nightmare Before Christmas, but I thought more along the lines of the cottage in Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Except for the ginormous walk-in closet. I don't think those are in Snow White at all. πŸ˜‰

    Can't wait for the book! XD

  4. hahaha! There already is a story about the most spoiled half-vampire in existence. I sent you the link in twitter. The continuation of the Twilight Saga written by a fan, it's really good. Elysium is the title. Ok, I'm advertising, haha! Even though I wasn't the one who wrote it, it deserves attention. πŸ™‚

  5. Haha. Priceless. It's funny to read what others think about a chapter of Breaking Dawn but you take the cake, Kaleb.

    And your right about the whole opening presents thing in front of people. I hated having people stare at me when I opening gifes. I mean, what if you don't like it? It's really hard not to make a face at the lameo item. xD

  6. Kaleb you rock…since I'm posting early, maybe I can hope you'll actually read my posts. πŸ™‚ I'm always scared they get lost in cyberspace.
    I would totally read your “Spoiled Half-Vampire” book simply because of the cover, and your amazing writing skills. πŸ™‚ Also, the opening presents thing…it always freaked me out, and still does. I have a habit of getting really crappy gifts from people, such as the straight-to-DVD Disney movie “AirBuddies”, which is a sequel to “Air Bud”…I was like “Really? Do I look five?” All because I mentioned I liked Disney. And then when I get really good gifts, I never feel like I can muster up enough excitement, and it's just an awkward situation.
    And good thinking about Bella and things that are “brewing”…remember…
    “If we could bottle (her) luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands.” –Edward Cullen, “Eclipse”
    Be prepared for some major stress coming in Bella's life.
    Keep writing…can't wait to read your novel.

  7. Yea gift opening is very awkward! I especially when it's a gift you don't really like and you have to put on one of those fake “I really love it” smiles and promise that you're gonna use it all the time!

  8. I agree about the opening gifts in front of people – I always braced myself with a fake “I really love it” expression on my face. Even if you do end up really liking a gift, you're so stressed, your reaction comes out all awkward. πŸ™‚

  9. Aaw Kaleb, I'm so proud of you (or for you..0.o..)! I can only imagine how exciting all this is for you, to have your book published and to be able to share your excitement with fans you already have (and of course who love you).
    Like I said, I can only imagine, but watching you as you have come this far with your book has been exciting and thus I feel I can at least share in a bit of your excitement.

    You should record your own audio of your book and make a few limited copes then give them away as special prizes or sale em…but then again, I don't know if that's like, breaking some sort of copyright law/contract thing. Just a thought thought *shrugs*.

    But anyways, congrats again, Kaleb, for making it this far with your book. I really truly am excited and happy for you.


  10. I do agree that she could be a rotten little child from all that spoilage, but I suspect life could be hard for Renesmee as she gets older. I mean, you've got the father that knows your every thought, for one thing, and then this family full of runway-gorgeous people (making those self conscious preteen and teenage years all the worse), AND you're a mutant. Not even mentioning the fact that your “best friend” spent at least a year drooling after your mother. He even sucked face with her on more than one occasion. Oh, and by the way, he's been in love with you since you were maybe twenty minutes old. Awkward.

    However, the way Renesmee's described in the book, she can do no wrong, so if Meyer continued the story, I'm sure she'd be flawless to those around her. Reminds me of Michelle in Full House, who's practically worshiped by every character. She could set off an explosion in the backyard, and the adults would just be all “Aw, Michelle, did you make a mistake? That's okay! We'll give you a hug and a lecture of life lessons while we blame your disgruntled sisters and force them to clean up your mess.”

  11. Oh opening presents is the worst! Especially when your family has the worst gift pickers in the world!
    And Bella is already too comfortable in this world. But honestly IDK if you have been spoiled but is Stephenie going to say “and then they all died. The End”. And now that all the main characters have someone(like Jake and Ness and Bella and Edward) can anyone really die and have it still make sense?
    And all the perfectness in the book bothers me sooooooo badly. The chapters when life isn't perfect are my favorites. Not just in Breaking Dawn but in the whole series. It makes it all more realistic. Like you said “she’s got Edward and Jacob, and the awkwardness and hatred is gone, as well as the war and the feuding and pretty much every trouble she had before she became a vampire. Now she has a nice car and a cottage, and is surrounded by people who want nothing more than to take care of her children while her and Edward spend nice, lonnnng nights in their cottage.”

    All the trouble has suddenly lifted. She has been on the edge of death most of the series for one reason or another. Now all the stuff Edward was upset about taking away from her like having a child has been remedied. The only real problem they have now is Bella having the possibility of not being able to stand being around her half human child. So far that hasn't been a problem and for the feeding part which is a problem she has Rose, Jake,Esme and the rest of everybody! Perfection is a hard concept for me to grasp and the fact that these chapters in my favorite book are full of it makes it difficult to read. My favorite chapters are coming up soon. In I think two chapters!

  12. I really think that in BD lots of ppl like speak about other book, like when eleazar said something like the Volturi not letting the matter go like if they are looking for something else to punish the Cullens, but it will be cool to see more drama! I LOVE THE BOOKS dont get me wrong! but its just too happy!

  13. You see, what's funny is that when you do have a question for the comments, I go astray and barely bother to answer the question, but when you don't have one, I have no idea where to begin. Funny how that works.

    I think that Renesmee is so smart and above any normal baby level that she's not even going to register all this spoiling. However, I'm sure if the time ever came that she needed to know how to use such skills, she would be able to, but like you said, I don't think she'll ever want for anything. She was born into a super-rich family that have nearly anything they like at their disposal, so she'll likely have no wants.

    However, as said before, she will have to contend with Edward being able to hear all her thoughts, and all those of Jacob, if she chooses to be with him, so that will become rather tiring, I dare say. Also, it seems that to keep up the ruse the Cullens have held to all this time, Renesmee would have to be adopted in by Carlisle and Esme, and that would leave all the Cullen children going to school together. So, where most of us at least had that part of the day to ourselves, she will still be surrounded. Unless, of course, she continues to grow at such a rate that going through a school year would be impossible.

    I believe this is one of the most romantic quotes of all time: “Thresholds are part of my job description.” It kinda makes me swoon. I love to read of their relationship so much in this stage, because Bella has to constantly remind herself that, for a time, she is stronger than Edward and has to be more gentle with him. It gives her a slight taste of how he's felt all this time.

    Will Bella find herself in trouble again? Who knows? I mean, she is Bella, after all. πŸ˜‰

  14. I don't like getting presents at all. πŸ˜€ I always feel guilty not giving them anything back. What, what.
    And I have the same question as 'elise' ^.

  15. I totally know what you mean. Things were too….perky and cheerful all of a sudden. I was happy for Bella, but this only made it too obvious that the dream is about to shatter. I made my own ending, one that I thought would've made more sense, and could've given way for a fifth book.


    Lol, just advertising.

  16. This is where SM loses a lot of people. There are some who believe that the happiness Bella has makes her too 'Mary Sue'.

    I'm glad that life is going well for her. After being hunted by vampires, escaping death several times, and giving birth to a child who would 'chew' their way out of the womb, she deserves some happiness!! I also like that she is more mature. But, that makes it harder for the tween crowd to relate to her.

  17. Oh the suspense! LOL! Must…not….spoil.
    I think this is actually a kinda neat part of the book! You really get an inside glimpse into the life of a vampire! And I would LOVE a cottage like that to have eternity to spend with my vampire husbaned! ; )

  18. This is probably the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. =D

    “…while her and Edward spend nice, lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng nights in their cottage.”

    Ha! You thought Eclipse was bad…. =D

  19. I can't believe you're almost done! What are you going to do next, after the book is done? Hopefully you'll review The Host, after all your busy book-related stuff is done. We don't want this to end!

    It IS hard to believe, isn't it? Just a year ago, you were reading Twilight, nobody knew quite what to make of you, and it seemed that Breaking Dawn was worlds away, and now it's so close. It gets me teary-eyed…..

    But anyway, I can't empathize with you about presents. Being quite the drama queen, I love the center of attention on my birthday, and during Christmas my cousins and siblings are all opening presents at the same time as me while the adults scramble for cameras, so there are eyes on you for half a second before they dart away, make the circuit and come back to you. Ah, fun-fun.

  20. I honestly, dislike the second half of Breaking Dawn. As Kaleb stated, everything feels so perfect. I also feel like the college was a bit much.

    So, she's the first really known vampire to have a child. She's already 'special' enough, does she really need more? All of the other vamps went through hard situations in their life, DO YOU SEE THEM GETTING STORYBOOK LADEDA COTTAGES?!


    I do think that with all of her constant spoiling, there can be know way that Reneseme's going to be as perfect and sweet as expected. For those of you who have read Gone With the Wind, and remember Bonnie, then you know how Rhett spoiled her and Bonnie got a bit spoiled and rude, though her parents still adored her more then Ella and Wade.

    There is no possible way, Renesmee will grow up to be as perfect as she's shown to be.

  21. You read wrong again Kaleb; Emmett was “all for adding on columns and a few more thousand square feet” but Esme kept it simple and small. They didn't actually add on thousands of square feet and columns. The cottage just has the two bedrooms. Also, quit putting so much emphasis on Jacob not hesitating when it came to imprinting on Renesmee. If you had read carefully before in New moon and Eclipse when Jacob explains imprinting, you would understand it's completely involuntary, he has absolutely no control over it, and he's not “in love” with renesmee as you put it previously. He does NOT think of her this way at this point in her life. He's more like the ultimate protector, later a best friend, and when she's ready and grown up, (he doesn't get any older remember) he'll be her soulmate. Go back to Eclipse and read where Jacob explains imprinting to Bella when Quil imprints on 2 year old Claire.

  22. Kaleb, I have to tell you that I'm SO happy that you've been noticing some of the faults of Breaking Dawn. It really is the worst book out of the 4 and (to be honest) not a very good book in general… The baby thing and the imprinting thing are just WEIRD, and the rest of it is so frustrating… Bella has ZERO bloodlust for humans, she gets EVERYTHING SHE WANTS, and there's something else too that I won't spoil for you, but it is one of the most aggrivating things about the book…

    I really hope that (assuming you aren't crazy about the book, just like I'm not) you don't sugar-coat it when it comes time for your final verdict on BD. I know some people who LOVE the thing, but the majority of fans, including myself, were highly disappointed in Breaking Dawn. It'll be interesting to see which side you end up on.

  23. Kaleb. Tsk, tsk. You wrote “… while her and Edward spend nice, lonnnng nights in their cottage.” As you wrote in another recent post–“This murders my little English-major heart.” Not really a big mistake, but you're so careful about your grammar and have such fun pointing out the many errors in e-speak messages you get. So I thought I'd point out that it should be “she and Edward” spending happy time together (check by taking Edward out of the equation–“she spends” not “her spends”).

    You picked up on one of my hangups about the book. She risked so much to be a mother, was so excited about mothering, and even discovered the balance between Renesmee's yummy blood and her vampire self. But yet she isn't really shown doing a whole lot on the way of mothering–it's always Rosalie or Jacob with Renesmee. I've had my fair share of risky pregnancies, and I can tell you when I finally do have a healthy, living child, I don't let anyone touch her (all babies are girls, don't you know). Even my husband has to beg for a turn. Though I guess in Bella's defence, I had quite a bit more time with my hubby before the babies came. One month isn't long to enjoy that stage of life. Especially when most of that month was spent hugely pregnant and mostly dying. Even so, I think I'd be more demanding of time with my baby. The baby stage goes by too fast.

  24. Lol Kaleb, you can't get away with anything anymore. πŸ™‚

    so I have been thinking and I think you HAVE to read the partial draft of Midnight Sun! All the twilighters will want to know what you think! Please?!

    And I think you should talk to your publishers about making all of your blogs into a book!!! Really, I know alot of people that would buy it! πŸ™‚ just think about it!

  25. Wow – I've just caught back up to all the blogs after a few weeks of non-reading due to frantic new job, holidays, etc. Feels good to be back up the front! I agree with your comment that it all seems too perfect for Bella now – and without giving any spoilers you're on the right track with the 'war brewing' comment (obviously can't have the rest of the chapters just blabbing on about how perfect everything is now). Also agree with the seeming lack of motherly-ness given she almost gave up everything for the baby.

    I hope you really write what you feel about the rest of Breaking Dawn. I enjoyed the book, but it does seem a bit unsatisfying compared to the first 3. I'm interested to hear your honest opinion…

  26. I've always felt the same way about gifts. I hate when my birthday comes around, or it's my turn to open gifts on the holidays. I've always sympathized with Bella on that too.

    Nothing is ever that perfect. Don't worry, you won't be reading about their lonnng nights for too long, but in my opinion this is where the story slumps. It won't be about Edward and Bella anymore, despite the time they're spending together without their daughter. That part always bothered me. I'd be wanting to spend as much time with my child when she's growing as fast as Renesme. It's like every minute you're missing out on a chunk of her childhood. It's sad in a lot of ways.

  27. We really get a glimpse into the life of Stephenie Meyer's Cullen vampire world- remember it's how she depicts these certain vampires, not the nomads. And I get the picture that this is not considered “normal” for vampire life, right? So don't forget that! πŸ™‚

  28. You said exactly what I was thinking after I read the blog! πŸ™‚ The cottage is tiny- Edward makes some comment about “a house would have leg room”. It's suppose to be for now, until they go off to New Hampshire or whatever.

  29. I liked this part of the book- I thought it was a nice, light change from all the fear and trouble that Bella has been in for the past three books. To me, the first book is of course the best because it has the whole Bella and Edward falling in love and getting to know each other stuff, but I like Breaking Dawn because it shows Bella as a mature adult. I think maybe because I'm a 20-something fan I have a different impression than some of the teen fans? I'm not sure if that's accurate or not, but I think it was inevitable that Meyer would give Bella and Edward a happy ending.

  30. I'd never finished your blogs for New Moon and so today I set out to do just that. I find it strange and amusing that the last time you compared a room to the inside of Jack Skellington's house it was the Vultiri's underground secret lair. Unless of course you make a habit of comparing rooms to Jack's house and I've only come across these two comparisons? πŸ˜‰

  31. Ok well I was reading this thinking it was a new post and I was having serious deja vu! It was freaking me out sooooooooooooo bad!

  32. That is the fitting blog for anybody who desires to search out out about this topic. You understand a lot its nearly hard to argue with you (not that I truly would needHaHa). You undoubtedly put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, simply great!

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