The song for this chapter is Time After Time by Quietdrive
Time is a very curious thing, and as school finals are rapidly approaching, my management of it has become of utmost importance. Should I study history for two hours more and government for two hours less? Should I work on my art paper or review 34 of the 85 Federalist Papers? Should I at least open my study notebooks or just continue watching addictive videos involving chinchillas and raisins?
Like Bella, I can’t imagine for the life of me where this year went. Wasn’t it just New Years? Didn’t I just move into this apartment? Sheesh. It is obviously one of those human things: and if time flies for us, how much more so for vampires, who are hardly affected by it?
I can see in this how Bella is indecisive. She wants to become a vampire, and join Edward for eternity — but at the same time, she is suddenly realizing the eternal consequences of making that choice. How will it feel to be eternal, where time hardly affects you, and to have the same strengths and new weaknesses that vampires have? How will it feel to know that this is something irreversible: that once she makes this choice, she can’t go back? Bella’s feelings are seen most in these lines:
I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was suddenly terrified of getting it.
In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. […But] In practice… being human was all I knew. The future beyond that was a big, dark abyss that I couldn’t know until I leaped into it.
This is the reason why when people fervently ask me if I’d like to become a vampire, I hesitate with my answer. Like Bella, I have a fear of the irreversible. I’m not the type of person who would get a tattoo, not because I particularly abhor ink, but simply because I know that immediately afterward I will regret it and eternally grumble that I shouldn’t have done something that could not (easily) be removed.
Similarly, if I was to be turned into a vampire, there is literally no way of reversing the process. Even though I might be amazingly fast, have gigantic muscles and every person on the planet admiring every inch of my sparkly skin, I still might long to be human, and not have any possibility of it happening. Everyone knows just how much Bella wants to join Edward — the fear of becoming a vampire for eternity is obviously strong to make her hesitate in her decision. As Bella said: it is a big, dark abyss — how do you prepare for that type of decision?
As for Alice, Christmas must be impossible around her, and if I was one of her siblings I might just get something and throw it at her days early, since there’s absolutely no point in wasting time to wrap the gifts.
The unfortunate thing, however, is that for some reason she can’t see who is causing all this trouble in Seattle. Obviously, this newborn vampire problem is getting bigger. Usually, I can read what is going on but this time I can’t decipher exactly who this is. My thoughts are that it’s someone from the Volturi trying to cause trouble; Victoria; or even maybe a fourth member of her vampire coven: some member I have yet to meet.
But I keep wondering what the reason is. Are they killing these people to draw the Cullens out into the open? Or perhaps are they trying to incite a war between the werewolves and the vampires, by making it appear that the Cullens are attacking people against the rules of the treaty? I have little doubt that Jacob and the werewolves will soon be involved in this conflict — now the question for me is which side they will be fighting on.
Question for the comments: would you hesitate becoming a vampire because of how eternal your decision would be, or try to change as quickly and as soon as possible to avoid humanly dangers?
– As the next two weeks are finals at school, I will probably not be posting as often or as lengthily as usual. However, immediately after I will be back as usual, until Christmas takes over 😀
– The Twilight Youtube Contest Of Awesome will end this Friday at 11:59 PM CST. Be sure to get your entries in before it’s too late!