The song for this chapter is Time After Time by Quietdrive
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/timeaftertime.mp3]
Time is a very curious thing, and as school finals are rapidly approaching, my management of it has become of utmost importance. Should I study history for two hours more and government for two hours less? Should I work on my art paper or review 34 of the 85 Federalist Papers? Should I at least open my study notebooks or just continue watching addictive videos involving chinchillas and raisins?
Like Bella, I can’t imagine for the life of me where this year went. Wasn’t it just New Years? Didn’t I just move into this apartment? Sheesh. It is obviously one of those human things: and if time flies for us, how much more so for vampires, who are hardly affected by it?
I can see in this how Bella is indecisive. She wants to become a vampire, and join Edward for eternity — but at the same time, she is suddenly realizing the eternal consequences of making that choice. How will it feel to be eternal, where time hardly affects you, and to have the same strengths and new weaknesses that vampires have? How will it feel to know that this is something irreversible: that once she makes this choice, she can’t go back? Bella’s feelings are seen most in these lines:
I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was suddenly terrified of getting it.
In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. […But] In practice… being human was all I knew. The future beyond that was a big, dark abyss that I couldn’t know until I leaped into it.
This is the reason why when people fervently ask me if I’d like to become a vampire, I hesitate with my answer. Like Bella, I have a fear of the irreversible. I’m not the type of person who would get a tattoo, not because I particularly abhor ink, but simply because I know that immediately afterward I will regret it and eternally grumble that I shouldn’t have done something that could not (easily) be removed.
Similarly, if I was to be turned into a vampire, there is literally no way of reversing the process. Even though I might be amazingly fast, have gigantic muscles and every person on the planet admiring every inch of my sparkly skin, I still might long to be human, and not have any possibility of it happening. Everyone knows just how much Bella wants to join Edward — the fear of becoming a vampire for eternity is obviously strong to make her hesitate in her decision. As Bella said: it is a big, dark abyss — how do you prepare for that type of decision?
As for Alice, Christmas must be impossible around her, and if I was one of her siblings I might just get something and throw it at her days early, since there’s absolutely no point in wasting time to wrap the gifts.
The unfortunate thing, however, is that for some reason she can’t see who is causing all this trouble in Seattle. Obviously, this newborn vampire problem is getting bigger. Usually, I can read what is going on but this time I can’t decipher exactly who this is. My thoughts are that it’s someone from the Volturi trying to cause trouble; Victoria; or even maybe a fourth member of her vampire coven: some member I have yet to meet.
But I keep wondering what the reason is. Are they killing these people to draw the Cullens out into the open? Or perhaps are they trying to incite a war between the werewolves and the vampires, by making it appear that the Cullens are attacking people against the rules of the treaty? I have little doubt that Jacob and the werewolves will soon be involved in this conflict — now the question for me is which side they will be fighting on.
Question for the comments: would you hesitate becoming a vampire because of how eternal your decision would be, or try to change as quickly and as soon as possible to avoid humanly dangers?
——NOTES——
– As the next two weeks are finals at school, I will probably not be posting as often or as lengthily as usual. However, immediately after I will be back as usual, until Christmas takes over 😀
– The Twilight Youtube Contest Of Awesome will end this Friday at 11:59 PM CST. Be sure to get your entries in before it’s too late!
120 Responses
I wouldn`t hesitate! I have daydreamed so much about becoming a vampire. They were always the best daydreams I have ever had.
Umm…actually, like Bella, I’d probably be a bit hesitant. To just throw myself into a world I have no clue about…of course I’d change, but not right at the very moment. The only perks I’d really look foreward to are the beauty, the strength, but mostly the speed. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to run…
THat would be a very hard desicion. I mean you would live forever, and ever, and ever, and ever….and though the idea of living an extra long life is an awsome idea for me. Living forever….maybe no so much. But then there is also the aspect of once I was turnned I would want to kill what I once was. I mean Bella was the exception to newborn vampires. Think about how it would be if she didn’t have such good self control, and was a regular newborn.
Immortality (if I had a soulmate like Edward) sounds v-e-r-y tempting. But, w/o a soulmate, not so much. I’d love to watch the world change, have the flawless beauty/senses but I’d hate to leave my family. I just couldn’t bear to keep living while my parents die, then my siblings…
So, if I were asked, right now, if I wanted to be a vamp, I’d have to refuse.
LOL at santa: “He is not pleased”
Can’t wait for you to hear Jasper’s story, and also Chapter -I don’t know the number, but it’s called Wager.
If I could do it like the Cullens, I probably would. However, drinking animal blood sounds really nasty, even though it’s not nearly as bad as drinking human blood. I would also miss sleeping, but it sounds too tempting to be able to stay young forever and be super fast & strong. You could pretty much do whatever you wanted and you’d have all the time in the world to read tons of books and travel to beautiful places.
In a couple of years if someone asked me if I would become a vampire I would say HELL YEAH! But not now. The reason being I am not even 15 yet and would be stuck as a teen forever. I would want to at least be 17 before undergoing vampireism. But no later than 24 I think. Maybe 25….. Maybe. So yeah there is my age window.
I mean I guess it would really suck not being able to see your friends and family. Actually no probably, that would definantly suck for me…. of course i could always attempt to change them too………. lol.
Other benefits include oldfashioned gentlemen, speed, strength, agility, non-clumsiness (finally!), and of course being drop dead gorgeous (no pun intended) for ever.
So yeah if I was in my age bracket or maybe a year difference I would say yeah.
I just wanted to add, that reading this site has made me want to read the books again 🙂
I want to be a vampire, but only if I had somebody to spend eternity with like how Bella will have Edward. Plus, I usually do things before I think about it, so I would have to think it all through first. But I know I would hate spending eternity alone, although there are benefits such as shiny cars, sparkly skin, drop-dead( literally) gorgeous looks…
First things first:
Kaleb, I just got back from church (it’s a holy day of obligation) and there was this guy there with a tattoo on the side of his head… it was really distracting because I read this post right before I left (postponing my answer) and anyway, I was fantasizing about how he got it (my theory: it was a dare, and he figured “Well, my hair will grow over it” and then, to his horror years later, he went bald.) As I said, it’s right on the side of his head and kinda obvious and I’m sure that would be extremely difficult to remove and annoyingly permanent…
Well, now that I am done with the tattoo rant, my mind was wandering in church as I thought of an answer to your question. The tattoo guy really hit a note with me. The tattoo not only reminded me of permanence, but also ageing. Everyone ages. That guy has probably had that tattoo for years (he was in his 60’s) and he went bald. He aged. He was living with something permanent. (the coincidences were too creepy)
You see, right now I’m trying really hard to answer the question based on Stephenie’s portrayal of a vampire (after all, we are talking about Twilight) so I have to be careful my answer doesn’t delve into other vampire characteristics from other places…
Anyway, I have actually thought about what I would miss most if I became a vampire (chocolate, sleep, chocolate… did I mention chocolate? :D) But not about if I wanted to be a vampire… weird.
Anway, since I’m young (High school) I don’t think that I would want to become a vampire NOW… maybe in a few years (when I’m 17 or 18 like Bella) I would definitely consider it.
Yes, it would be permanent, but I have many absurd fears that being a vampire would answer (most are too embarassing to mention)
Plus, if I was in Bella’s position, yeah I would hesitate but I would go for it– in the end, I would know what I wanted. (What Bella wants is to be with Edward forever) But without Edward I think I would still go for it. Maybe after a while I would find somethings annoying or confusing (no sleep can make time seem very distorted) but I think that it would be fascinating. Living with a family like the Cullens too…
If I could have a family like the Cullens, a soulmate who I knew would stand by me for eternity, and deal with a lack of chocolate and sleep, being a vampire wouldn’t be so bad. Many people seem to agree, but I’m not sure if they’ve thought of it as much as I have (it would be an endless rant if I explained it here, so I won’t :D)
Besides, I think its good Bella hesitates. I think it just proves how she knows now how major this decision is. It’s really sinking in. Before in Twilight she’s like “make me a vampire” and now she’s like “what will happen IF I’m a vampire?” I think it shows not only is Bella being ratinonal, but she matured a little too. It’s not a decision to take lightly, I think it’s good she thinks. (if that makes sense :D)
begrudgingly, I have the longest post. AGAIN. I’ll have to cut down the ranting next time… sorry… 😀
I would definately become a vampire in a heartbeat. I’d probably wait a few long, long years since I’m only fifteen and therefore can’t even drive, but I’d still become a vampire when the faced with the choice.
My pros:
-Since I crave knowledge, I’d be able to learn every little thing my heart desires.
-I’d be A LOT more patient, which is something I desperately need to learn.
-My family would die and I’d never have to listen to them complain about how I need to get better grades even though I already have straight A’s.
-I’d live to the far future and be able to see how society changes.
-If I didn’t want to be a vampire anymore, I’d just invent a time machine and stop myself from becoming one.
My cons:
-I’d never be able to eat again and I love eating.
-All my friends would die.
I could go on and on and on and on and on and on about what I’d like and what I’d dislike, but I have other things to get to and therefore don’t have much more time to waste on this. But from my point of view, I’d have to become a vampire. I’d benefit from it more than if I were to stay human.
I would eventually decide to not become a vampire.
I think i would probably choose becoming a vampire. There’s so much i want to experience, so many things i want to learn, see, hear, that i don’t think it would fit into one lifetime. Vampirism also gives super senses to experience all those things. And more time to find your soul mate. 😉
:'( I don’t wanna think about the chance to be a vampire because I know I won’t be lucky enought to meet one! But I guess it’s still possible, I wonder how many vamps live in Iowa…… hmm. I’d totally want to be a vampire.
I would choose not to become a vamp. i mean there are some really cool benefits, but i think its also a benefit to have a beginning and an end to your life, instead of living your whole life stuck in your youthful body. and OoOoOoOoOoO the next chapter is one of my favorites!!!! 🙂
I’m an extremely indecisive person. I never know what I want. There would definitely be some hesitation going on if one of my choices was to become one of the eternally damned.
Although, you can’t really help who you fall in love with. If I fell in love with a vampire like Edward and he happened to return those feelings I would still hesitate; but in the end I would pick the one I love over mortality and other human experiences. Either way, mortal or immortal, without love, there isn’t anything worth living for.
I can never make decisions-I paint my toenails ten colors. But once I do make a decision, it is easy for me to follow through. The decision making is the only part which bothers me. If I were to fall in love with a vampire, I would pick to become a vampire. Being mortal would only put a limit on love.
This is what I said to my best friend the other day: “If you ever get bitten and changed into a vampire… you better change me too.” To which she responded, “okay, but only if you do the same for me.”
If I were changed into a vampire, by myself, with no one to keep me company for the rest of eternity then no, I don’t think I’d want to be changed into a vampire. But if by changing into a vampire I still had at least SOME of the people I love most with me (like Bella’s case with the Cullens) then I’d do it in a heartbeat. Because, what’s being human or living forever if you don’t get to be with the ones you love?
I would hesitate. I’m being truthful: if I was being chased by people who wouldnt stop chasing me until I died, or by people a million times worse than any serial killer out there, then I wouldn’t hesitate. If I had a chose simpler than Bella’s (and maybe Edward’s, in a few scenerios), than I would most likely say no, pretty much.
I am like Bella. I am clutsy, uncoordinated,unathletic, AND a bokorm. If I was faced wit this decision I would become a vampire, especially if it was the only sure way I could be with my true love forever. It would be worth the pain and sorrow, for I would be getting something infinitely more valuable in return…..Does that make sense at all?
Sorry about the typos..I know how to spell, but I have a laptop keyboard…need I say more?
THAT’S THE MOST TUBULAR COSTUME I’VE EVER SEEN.
Your Santa costume is TUBULAR! Where can we get a tubular costume like that?
I WOULD DECIDE TO BECOME A VAMPIRE JUST SO I CAN HAVE MUSIC WHEN I SPARKLE.
I would decide to become a vampire so i can enter the Contest of Awesome. you wouldn’t dare not let me enter if I was a vampire.
We want a pony, some crayons, an elf, some tubular surf boards, and your tubular santa costumes. KTHNXBAI SANTA
what book are you reading? is it tubular?
Santa Kalip, I’d really like a non false story for Christmas, but I’m not sure if you can manage, so I’ll settle for the ability to sparkle, thnx
KIM, WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE? DID YOU HACK THE SYSTEM?
Response to KimFTW:
Kaleb’s truth radar
False: 10 True:0
Vampire FTW. I already keep vampire hours so I might as well be one I have had enough time to think it over I would so do it….
Than again I would also want a tatto.
Can I send you my wish list this year for Christmas? Your out fit PWNS.
Good luck with finals ^_^
I would hesitate, because I’m not Bella. I have a different relationship between family, friends etc. I mean, if I were Bella, I would still think through every other option I every had – that’s part of the reason Jacob is even there, to represent the choice she maintains in her life, that being a vampire is not the only way and she can live as a human with someone else. Bella does need to consider her options and begin think rationally, not only thinking of being with Edward forever. I would consider the impact on my family, friends.. etc.
I think Bella is the most hesitant in this book, where she fully weighs the pros and cons of both sides, and I don’t want to spoil anything so I’ll stop typing now 🙂
But I’d be hesitant, it’s a pretty hefty price to pay to be with Edward.
Oh and has anyone considered the three days of the worst pain every to be experienced? Ugh.
the only reason i dont have to think about that is because iv thought of that before during algebra…..hehe
i would hesitate think about it alot ALOT but in the end i would say yes
Eh. I have a horrible time making decisions. So I’d probably put it off and put it off until I couldn’t anymore, and then I’d do it and be perfectly happy.
I’ve had plenty of time to think about this decision (i wish i could make it someday 🙁 ) and yes, I would choose to become a vampire in an instant, especially in Bella’s circumstance, with Edward who loves her more than anything and a family, etc.
This is my first (or second) time posting here, and I have to say I love this quesion. I’ve thought about since I first read Twilight, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to become a vamp. I really don’t wanna die now, but I don’t want to live forever either… seems a little too scary. But of course, like others said, Bella’s decision is justitfied because she has all those years ti spend with Edward, the object of her existence. That’s the only thing that keeps the vamps going, the fact that even though they’ll live forever, they have a mate to spend it with. Othwerwise, I think they would’ve all thried to end themselves one way or another… eternal life just sounds scary.
That’s kinda the reason why I’d prefer to be a wolf.
If i had an Edward, hell yes. But i love being human too, so i would have a hard time deciding. I love everyting that would be lost, but at the same time i love everything i might gain. So if i had the chioce I don’t know my answer.
When I really think about it, I’m not sure what I’d want to do. I mean, its great if you have an Edward to spend eternity with, but what if you’re simply given the option with only the hope that you’ll find something to make you want to survive through eternity?
If there was someone that I loved that much, I’d probably do it, but not without doubting myself. Without that person though, why would I want to be a vampire? Even with the Cullens as a family, I’d constantly be reminded that I was alone…
How did this turn out to be such a thought provoking question? Well, there’s my answer. Can’t wait for the next post!
One night I had a dream with Edward in it, I know so cool but, he was hunting me and trying to make me a vampire. Now if I was conscious I would have been the one chasing him to turn me into a vampire, but in my dream I was so terrified and it even woke me up, I was literally scared of Edward o.0, which is not a familiar reaction, but I think I was scared to turn into something unknown, and like Bella I would be so eager to be a vampire but at the same time scared. I think ultimately I would do it though, but I would like some time to think of my actions, as opposed to being hunted like in my dream.
Her conflict seems very Shakespeare… fear of the unknown. Fear of the unknown makes you think too much about actions and then actions just become thoughts or dreams…. sorry, i just did an essay on Hamlet ( to be or not to be anybody?)
… anyway Bella is justified in thinking about this too much. She has so much that she would be giving up and yet so much that she would receive in return. I’m not sure if she’s said it yet but one point she actually tells Edward “there’s no point to eternity without you” ( hope that’s not a spoiler)
So i guess Bella could relate to Hamlet in a way and have her own “to be or not to be” solilque. Basically the fear of the unknown makes us cowards.
If I was in Bella’s shoes, to be with the one i loved for an eternity and be able to be closer to him then I ever had been, then yes I would change.
I watched the chinchilla thing. It made me smile 🙂
I don’t think I would become a vampire. Maybe if all my friends and family were vampires- then that would be okay, to go through it with them. But to be all alone in that, and not to be human… I wouldn’t do it. It’s just not worth it to me.
I would only become a vampire if I had someone who I knew I could spend eternity with.
But it would take time to get over the fact that I couldn’t ever have my own children. I would give it up only if I were in a situation where my “mate” were a vampire.
chinchillas are amazing. if I had one I’d name it Larry
Well, hesitate or not. It really depends on the purpose of becoming one. If I were Bella and have fallen deeply in love with Edward, whose a vampire, then I would probably hesitate a bit because of what I will have to deal with later on (Dad, Mom, friends etc). But then, knowing that I would have my own vampire family to take care of me, then maybe it wouldn’t seem as unsteady as it would be.
Avoid humanly dangers? Nawwww, I’m no danger-magnet like Bella 😛
I do think very often about whether I’d love to become a vampire or not (if I’d have the choice) I guess it would be great.. But I definitely would be no vegetarian..(nothing against the Cullens though)
On the other hand I totally agree with all of you who said ‘eternity just with someone to spend it’
There’s no vampire baseball if you’re just one.. xD
Really, I don’t know.
I know I’d love to give up humanity hands down in a flash. But the whole newborn thing – you’ll get to that later – and having to live off of blood… And then to not let anyone know the secret and stay away from everyone I love…
Actually, now that I think about it, the only hard part would be keeping the secret and no more friends. And even then I think I could handle it.
Don’t think I’m wierd, but honestly, is there anything wrong with drinking blood? This is going to bother me now…. I think I could work something out with the whole vegetarianism thing. I’d feel guilty otherwise. I think. But it doesn’t sound half bad…
But then I’d need someone else. I’d be much too bored and lonely without a friend. But, other than that, I think I could handle it.
I hope I get the special powers!
I don’t know what to think. But, once I got it, I’d move on, and be happy. Cuz I am one of those lucky people who doesn’t regret much in life. So I know I’d make it out okay. And that’s all I’m asking for.
ilu!
ps.
srry I made up my mind so fast so many times. But, I bet that if you asked me if I was in a different mood, I’d hesitate. Maybe. I don’t know. I’m wierd that way.
psps.
I’d TOTALLY need a reason for it though. Or else I know I couldn’t do it.
Forgot to mention it.
Oh!
And I loved the chinchilla thing!
The last question you asked us, Kaleb, made me answer the same question…I don’t know why I felt I had to answer it, but as I was writing my response, I realized I had to explain further.
I answered something like this…
I wouldn’t want to be a vampire. I enjoy the idea of growing old with the man that I love. I also love the stories of elderly people dying within days or months of each other because they can’t live without the other. A good example of this is Johnny Cash and June Carter… Sure, living forever with the one that you love would be amazing! Eternal bliss!!! But, it would get far too repetitive and even though you’re with that person, it would get lonely to realize that as you remain the same forever, your friends and family would grow old and die without you following. It would be sad to live a life with only people like yourself…you could never branch out and meet new people because it would hurt far to much to watch them age…and inevitably die.
I personally believe it is far more romantic to grow old with the person you love and then, dying. Its the human way… Its the perfect ending to a full and happy life. I would choose to stay human.
There would be one thing I’d like about living forever, and that would be to go to every country I’ve always wanted to and to do things that I’ve always wanted to do. But, its selfish to fantasize about immortality because we will all pass away in the end. I say its the fear of death that might make someone seriously consider immortality…
I want to grow old with the man I love…and I can’t wait!
Great post, Kaleb! I love your in-depth questions for us fans!
I definitely got very distracted watching random chinchilla videos on youtube midway through your post. They are so cute!
I’d hesitate.
I’m a scaredy cat.