A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Eclipse: Chapter 19 (Selfish)

The song for this chapter is Crushed by Lesley Roy


When I first started Twilight, I told myself that above all, I would not become one of those fans: the one’s who spin around when they see a silver Volvo, or who blink twice anytime a girl says her name is Bella, or re-read quickly when the words ‘dazzle’ or ‘sparkle’ or ‘scintillating’ are used in a sentence. However, I was brought to an immediate pause in my biology class this week, when I opened my textbook to find that we would be studying prophase and anaphase under the microscope.


These were scientific terms long before Bella and Edward were studying them. Sheesh! Anyhows, despite my lopsided posting due to an equally lopsided school schedule, I couldn’t resist grabbing the book and finding out what happened next, as the vampires and werewolves near a war (and not even against each other…yet).

First off, I find it so interesting that Leah is now a werewolf. Up until now, I’ve only known of male werewolves (perhaps I have lost something along the way) but now I’m intrigued. I wonder if Leah could become the anti-Alice: like her werewolf counterpart, the balancing factor between the vampires and the werewolves. It makes me wonder if there is simply a disproportionate amount of male werewolves, or if the females simply do not live in that part of the country. And no wonder Sue is upset: both of her children have up and turned themselves into wolves. Try explaining that to the neighbors.

The whispers about the werewolf pack is so much like a soap opera, now that I’ve heard a bit of Embry’s history. Who’s cheating who? Who’s being true? And who don’t even care anymore? I hadn’t expected this from them, when their pack is so tight. Wouldn’t they be able to read the minds of each other and know the truth: or, at least have the risk of it, in the case of those-who-did-not-become-werewolves? Perhaps I’m simply jumping to scandalous conclusions…


But, while I was trying to think about the various possibilities of Embry’s heritage, I was distracted by a thought Bella voiced: will she be the cause of someone’s death? Because, after all, trouble seems to follow her wherever she goes — and not just in the clumsy sort of way either. This newborn vampire war seems to be the closest anyone has come to dying on her behalf. If someone does die, will it be her fault?

I have begun to gather clues to each chapter from the title, and this one is titled ‘Selfish’. It makes me wonder things. Who is really being selfish? Is it Bella, for wanting Edward to stay with her and out of danger? Is it Edward, who wants Bella away from the fighting, even though her being there might help to save the lives of some of his own family? Perhaps it is a bit of both. Maybe neither of them wants to the lose the other, and in doing so, are willing to sacrifice anything — despite the fact that it might cost the lives of others in the process.

Dire thoughts aside, there is something about Bella talking with the werewolf Jacob that strikes me. I don’t know what it is, but it seems to be one of the softest scenes I have read so far between her and Jacob: as if when he is in that form, it’s moreso the real Jacob Black, and the human form is simply something he assumes at certain times. Even Bella seems to feel how different Jake is:

“It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be — this easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing […]”

As I read this scene, I noticed again why I seem to like Edward more than Jacob. Edward is a listener. He wants to hear what Bella has to say, and he wants to do anything that will make her happy and safe. But Jacob seems to be harsher in this sense: he seems to speak more, to talk without listening. Jacob can’t seem to assume the mature respect that Edward carries towards Bella: that is, until he turns into a werewolf.

Not Related To Current Thoughts
Not Related To Current Thoughts

But now, it’s a quiet scene again, this calm before the storm, with Jacob and her side-by-side watching the preparations for battle. He can’t say anything — he can only listen to Bella. There is warmth in this scene, I can almost feel it as I read: not just the warmth that Bella feels coming from Jacob, but a genuine, friendly warmth that lightens the loathing that Bella had developed for Jacob after giving him a (much deserved) whack. And I can’t help but feel like Bella: maybe, Jacob Black isn’t so bad after all 😀

Question for the comments: for both Team Jacob and Team Edward, do you like Jake better in his wolf form or his human form? Also, have  you ever reacted strangely when you recognize something Twilighty in real life (aka a shiny silver volvo).


– Still working on the Robert Pattinson contest with Youtube. I got a second email from them, basically saying again that they are looking into it. But, I’m starting to form other plans, in case the Youtube thing doesn’t work 🙁 Oh well.

– Summer School In Forks is doing an awesome thing involving free iPods and the Twilight movie soundtrack! Be sure to check out their awesome event (I’m definitely going to be there!)

– LITTLE KNOWN FACT: You can receive my posts by email! Either use the Subscribe form in the right sidebar or below, and you’ll get my posts straight to your inbox!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner



201 Responses

  1. Υou can alao take advantage of tҺе affoгԀаЬlᥱ Ubеr огг Ꮮʏft
    car ѕегѵіcе; aⅼlⲟաing
    үⲟu tߋ ѕіt bɑϲκ
    and геlaх, mɑкіng cоmmᥙtіng
    ѡіtһⲟut ɗɗгiᴠіng fⲟr ρlеaѕսrᥱе
    ог wօгк ɑ Ьгееᴢe.

    Аⅼѕⲟ νisіt mү web-ѕitе
    Profil von MalorieBol

Leave a Reply

Related Posts

Funny Video: The Twihard Journey

I was sent this hilarious video by Christine Riccio. I love the mini history of every fandom freakout moment over all these years! Get ready