A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 25 (Favor)

The song for this chapter is Look After You by The Fray

Having a cottage given to you as a birthday present isn’t actually that bad, even if it does mean Bella will practically be living in her in-laws’ backyard. I suppose the best thing about it being so close to the rest of the Cullens is that they only have to hop out of bed and run over if they want to see the others (and of course their daughter). Another great thing about it is that anytime they want some alone time, they only have to leave Renesmee over at her grandparents house and go frolicking off on their own. Blissfulness!

Not for long, you two lovebirds. Pretty soon Renesmee’s gonna get bigger, and stronger. If a vampire like Esme can build a house that fast, little Renesmee can sure as heck tear it right down again during her first Grand Tantrum. Baby vampire temper equals woe to that poor little cottage.

Daddy I TOLD YOU to gimme the cookies!

Daddy I TOLD YOU to gimme the cookies!

Like, Bella, I don’t have much need for a big closet, though for different reasons. My miniature, college-apartment-sized one is just right for me. Then again, almost all I have are plaids and jeans. Any time I imagine a big closet like Bella’s, I picture one of the most utterly horrific scenes in a certain sequel to a teen movie where the main character (whose name escapes me) discovers that her closet is… a mall!!! (this was either a movie or something in a Wal-Mart Hannah Montana advertisement… or perhaps both?).


But of course, what can you expect? You’ve got Alice in charge now, finally able to smother her sister-in-law with gifts and clothes. What I don’t understand is why we still haven’t gotten to Edward’s present. Mr E. Cullen, I want to see this car, if you don’t mind too terribly my interrupting your blissful wedded life…

I don’t really know what I would do if I was Charlie Swan, and some guy just started turning into a werewolf in front of me. I don’t even think I would have stayed around long enough to see Jacob change into a werewolf, as Jacob had to remove his clothes at some point before transforming. Awkward. But then you have this big scary wolf in front of you where a second ago there was your friend’s son. Does Charlie just stand there in awe? Does he get his shotgun out? Does he at least call his psychiatrist for a mental health examination? The poor man has probably just had a heart attack.

Of course, I don’t know exactly how far Jacob thought his plan out, and it would be just like him to think it’s a grand idea without figuring out all the consequences of his actions. Still, it might not be as bad as Bella and the Cullens think it is. After all, now that Charlie has had one huge fright, he might be relieved to find out that his daughter is only a vampire who has only just recently given birth to his vampire/human grandchild. To me, that seems to pale in comparison (pardon my pun) to the fact that Jacob can turn into a big wolf. If one of my friends tried to tell me this, it might go something like:

FRIEND: Hey Kaleb! Didst thou know I could turn into a SQUID?



For this reason I can’t even imagine being Charlie and driving down this long road to the Cullen’s house. What must be going through his mind? Does he think that Bella has gone insane? That’s a long drive, and it gives him a lot of quiet time to mull over what Jacob told him. Perhaps he thinks it was all a joke mixed with some horrible hallucinations. If I was Charlie I probably still wouldn’t believe what Jacob had said despite all the evidence, and might wonder what I was doing driving to these people’s house when it was all probably a big joke.

Question For The Comments: If one of your friends turning into a werewolf in front of you, how do you think you would react?

This post is one which was recovered after the Great Website Server Failure, and is missing most of its previous comments.



84 Responses

  1. yah i would agree i think charlie may just have a heart attack by now
    jacob werewolf
    edward vampire
    renesmee is half in half

    i would think i was sycho i feel sorry for poor old charlie

  2. Didn't Jacob break his pack rule by telling/showing Charlie he's a werewolf? Hmmm….well, Jacob can be impulsive so it keeps with his character.

    If a friend transformed into a werewolf in front of me…..I'd say: “Weird, I never knew you were any part Native American. I guess you learn something new everyday.”

  3. If a friend transformed into a werewolf I would be so freaked out. I would think that that the wolf ate my friend and took it's form. I would denifatly be running to the kitchen to find a knife so that I could kill it.

  4. I think I'd probably just stand there in shock. You really don't know until it actually happens, but I know I'm not one for screaming. It also depends on how well you know that friend and if their wolf-form looks really intimidating or just friendly…

    BTW, the film with the walk-in closet is “Princess diaries 2”. (I know, I'm pathetic)

  5. Well, after reading Twilight, I would say something along the lines of, “Oh, excellent! Werewolves exist! Does that mean there's an Edward Cullen roaming around here somewhere, because even though he belongs to Bella, I would love to set eyes on him.”

    Now, if Twilight was never written and this just came out of the blue, it would definitely shift my world view. It's hard to know how I would react. However, I have always had the opinion that human beings can adjust to any reality and I suppose after I recognized that I was not hallucinating, I would adjust. Maybe more easily than I think.

  6. hummm… i think i would have a moment of pants messing and then know that dreams can come true! i mean, come on! to find myself adsorbed in a world of (what i thought to be) make believe, would be the start of a world of adventure… or jacob black and his cronies eating all my food.

  7. I would be in shock and probably call my therapist the next day. That would be a lot of information to get in less than thirty seconds.

  8. I would probably stare at them in awe for a few minutes before I managed to get “Oh. My. God.” out. After that? I have no idea.

  9. I'm guessing you mean, 'The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement' when referring to the mall closet.

    If my best friend turned into a werewolf, I would probably scream and run, sadly enough. I'd be afraid of some Professor Lupin-esque attack.

  10. Your not pathetic, Claudiah, I knew the PD 2 movie reference too.

    If a friend changed in front of me, I'd be thinking more of “Howling” then “Twilight”.

  11. If my friend turned into a werewolf I'd squeak and go “What the…” While jumping as far away as possible.

  12. I just noticed something about your chapter articles, they're always posted at 12:05 a.m.

  13. I'm surprised at how many people knew the movie was PD2. I had no idea. I've never seen it. I think that's a good thing? I'm really wondering why you have, Kaleb. LoL
    I'm pretty glad that Charlie has been brought to the Cullen house. I know he was getting crazy worried about Bella, and I really wanted her to be able to see him. It's amazing how well he reacts, considering, like you said, I'm surprised he even hung around past Jacob dragging him into the woods and stripping off his clothes. Must be something in his police nature. That would be a hilarious part to see in the movie. I can just imagine Charlie's face.
    It does seem like a long time before they finally reveal her car. I wasn't overly interested in it, anyway.
    If a friend of mine phased into a wolf in front of me, I seriously don't know what I would do. Panic. Run? Twilight is the only world in which I have seen a werewolf retain their sense of self while in wolf form. Usually, they change with the moon and cannot control themselves. So, I would probably be afraid of being attacked. I don't think I'd be able to scream. I don't know if I would try to run, knowing I can't outrun a wolf, or if I would try to stay unbearably still. You know, I'd probably just faint.
    I can't believe you didn't mention Emmett's quote about them discussing the national debt. LOL!

  14. I would decide I'm dreaming and promptly never mention it to them or anyone else, ever.

  15. If the person told my they were turning into a werewolf and told me all about them before hand I might not freak out so much. But is they suddenly said “Hey watch this!” and then turn into one, I would probably pass out…

  16. Charlie doesnt actually know Bellas a vampire tho he just knows shes kind of not human any more
    if one of my friends turned into a werewolf or any other kind of animal/creature i wud probly laugh and make sum jokes at their expense Me and my m8s r always takin the piss out of each other but we except each other 4 who we r =)

  17. It would probably go like this.

    *friend transforms into werewolf*
    ME: Awwww!!!! How come I can't be a werewolf?!

  18. If a friend turned into a werewolf in front of me, I'd probably be freaked, then curious, then begging them to bite me and make me one, too – in that order. 🙂 Why should everyone else get to have all the fun of turning into a giant canid and running around the world on four paws while I go through the daily drudgery of 'normal' life? Pssh!

    – E

  19. Well, I'm pretty scared of big dogs as a general, so I would probably freak out pretty bad.

    I loved the pic of the overturned cottage. I'm trying to remember where I've seen it before. Did you use it on a previous post? However, that sort of tantrum seems unlikely. Most toddler/young child tantrums are caused by an inability to communicate effectively, which is definitely not Renesmee's problem. And I don't think anyone in the Cullen family would have a problem with just giving her whatever the heck she wanted long before she would need to throw a tantrum for it, anyway.

  20. I would be freaked at first and possibly pass out but most likely just scream at first. Then once i chill i think it would take me a bit to digest said news and then i might be really excited about it lol or still just freaked but handling it better.

  21. Well… I would be freaked out, and then I'll be like 'oh my gosh I have a friend who can turn into an animal!'.
    But I still would be freaked out.

  22. Ummmm…I would scream and run away. If I had met a werewolf and a vampire today, I would think the wolf is much scarier, simply because vampires have that civility about them that fools people into thinking they are safe with them. But if I were Charlie and I learned that a) my best friend's son was a werewolf and b) my daughter married a vampire who I've always had mixed feelings about, impregnated her with his half human half vamp baby, and then turned her after she had given birth, I would be think that the vampire one was much, much worse.

  23. Hmm. If my friend turned into a werewolf, at first I'd be pretty scared. I mean, a huge wolf–albeit your friend–right in front of you, bigger than a real wolf will ever be?

    But I guess it depends on the type. If one of my friends transformed into a Professor Lupin-esqe werewolf, all big and lanky and having no control over themselves at the full moon like Lupin, then I would be terrified. Of course, I would still be friends with them, I'd just have a scary, blood-thirsty werewolf friend, although if you think about it, after the initial shock that wouldn't be quite that bad. It would be cool to have such a powerful friend, and if they can't control themselves it's not their fault.

    But, if one of my friends transformed into a Jacob-esqe werewolf, fully in control and able to switch back and forth between forms, with no bloodlust or full moon, then I'd be more open to it. It's a big difference when you have a choice when you can change, and they would still be fully themselves, still a friend, just furry. I would be more open to that one; I mean, your friend could just change at will and you could curl up next to a furry puppy-slash-friend wolf-thing, plus you could ride one just for kicks. I would much prefer the Jacob-esqe werewolf, because then at least they'd be in control and have a choice.

    This is where BD started to go wrong for me. Everything started to just go too right. I was great with the idea of Bella being in control of her bloodlust; I mean, it DOES fit. She was fully prepped for this for a long time; the others were changed without any knowledge of what would come. But after Jake told Charlie what he was, that all started to go screwy for me. The Cullens and Quileutes were supposed to keep this a secret, and letting Charlie partially in screwed that concept over. And from there, it all just fell too perfectly into place. I mean, I can understand how SM didn't want to end the series on a huge downer, but really, making it all super-perfect doesn't help. I would have much preferred if she had changed the ending to be more devastating, more like a “downer”, so then it would give way to another book, where ultimately everything would be righted in the end with equal amounts happiness and emo/sad/anger-ness.

  24. Fail for Smeyer… I just ugh!! There are more inconsistencies now then ever before. Charlie should really have passed out or something. That was totally stupid of Jacob to do. At this point, Charlie doesn't seem to be the Charlie Swan I've known from the past 3 books…

  25. I think, considering all of the exposure I've had to the idea of any happenings magical or mythical, that, if my friend were to shift in front of me, I would be like “ZOMG! That is amazing! I'm sooooo jealous,” as opposed to “Ahhhhhhhh!” You know?
    Oh, and “Four Months” is unbelievably beautiful! I love it! (Also, I cannot read music either. I wish I could, though, so I could learn to play piano or something. Actually, I wish my mother was one of those crazy people who put their kids into piano lessons and would not let them quit. I would have been grateful, eventually.)

  26. If my friend turned into a werewolf…hmm.

    I am a screamer. If something catches me off guard, I will scream reflexively. So I would probably do that, first. After that I suppose it would depend on the friend-now-turned-wolf's behavior. Are they coming at me? Or are they calm and in control of themselves? If they are aggressive, I would probably try instinctively to escape, regardless of any preconceived notions about werewolves and my possible desire to become one. Because yes, I would like to be a werewolf, despite the challenges. Life is hard anyway, you might as well get to be something supernatural in the bargain, right? Of course, we're talking here about Jacob-type wolves, who are sentient even in wolf form. I'm not interested in being a monster wolf; I don't want to hurt anyone.

    So; scream, escape, assess. Because if you get past the second one, then things are probably going to turn out ok one way or another.

    Now to speculate about which of my friends might turn into a werewolf…


  27. LOL Oh Kaleb, I love the pic of the upside down cottage. Too perfect…

    Let's just say for kicks & giggles that my best friend was a werewolf. One of them is actually tan & slightly Native American. & he's always warm, doesn't wear a jacket no matter how cold it is. We joke that he's our personal space heater & occasionally call him Jake. But, let's just say we're walking home from school one day, chatting.

    FRIEND: Hey, I got a secret I have to tell you.
    ME: What? You found out you really need to put on a jacket?
    FRIEND: I'm a werewolf. *transforms*
    ME: I knew it! *screams* DON'T EAT ME!!!!
    FRIEND: Uh oh…

    Nah, I love my bestie but it'd be incredibly awkward. First I'd make him make up for the fact that he's been lying to me by letting me style his fur & then we'd be cool 😛 He'd be my bud of course but so long as he isn't pulling the whole Remus-Lupin-I-can't-control-myself-'cause-it's-a-full-moon buisness, amigos forever!

  28. Bella's closet reminds me of the Princess Diaries movie when Mia walks in to the closet and it's like the size of her old house, lol

    If my friend turned into a werewolf: Scream. That would be first. after that, i have no idea. probably ask them to explain it while backing away slowly…

  29. I agree with some other comments – I am a screamer. It was hilarious how Jacob described Charlie's face when he took off his clothes and phased!

    And then Bella got a few pointers in acting human. Did anyone else crack up at this part on page 510: “The room was full of statues. I crossed my ankles.”

    I think Charlie managed to accept things because of his love and concern for his daughter. He's worried about her so much in the last two years. He was desperate to know that she was OK, even when it meant trying not to think too hard about the craziness. Jacob was probably allowed to tell Charlie about werewolves because he's Renesmee's grandpa, and Jacob imprinted on Renesmee.

    The book took a different tone and direction by necessity. Much of the conflict has been resolved. Bella and Jacob are OK. Bella's not in danger as a fragile human, finally. Edward and Bella are married and trust each other and can be together forever. They love their little girl who is such a miracle.

    Like real life, happily ever after doesn't exactly mean that. There will always be unexpected things happening in life, good and bad. You never know what's around the corner. Enjoy the moments of joy and contentment and face the hard stuff together. I think Breaking Dawn reflects that.

  30. but after the freaking out, as long as they were friendly in wolf form and didn't try to eat me (more like Jacob, less like Remus Lupin as a wolf) then I'd be okay with it.

  31. At first, I'd be completely shocked and freaked out, of course. However, I've read so many horror/supernatural novels and seen so many sci-fi movies and TV shows that I'd probably think it was cool. That would mean there are other supernatural things out there, and it has to be a good thing if your friend can morph into a huge wolf that can protect you from just about anything, right?

  32. i would faint, if i could not really a faint-er. or just stand there like a rock……….

  33. I would probably say something like…. “So you're a werewolf? ….. I see….. That's a pretty cool costume you've got there, were did you buy it?” I wouldn't believe it for awhile, but then I guess I'd get used to it.

  34. I think I would go into shock; other than that I have no idea.
    On another note, I don't think Nessie will ever need to throw a tantrum; someone will always be ready to give her what she wants. i.e.: Edward knowing with his mind reading, Alice 'seeing' it beforehand, Jasper feeling her annoyance etc.

  35. If my friend turned into a werewolf right before my very eyes, I would probably scream and start to run away. LOL. That's definitely scary. But then I would also think of not running away and just start petting the wolf and then I'd take pictures and stuff and post it online. Hahaha!

  36. If one of my friends turned into a werewolf in front of me, I would just laugh. Me and my friends are all twihards and have had a random discussion about this actually. We all agreed that if someone turned into a vampire (or in my case werewolf [I don't wanna be a vamp!]), we wouldn't get creeped out. I know, random.

  37. Well i would be the one turning into the werewolf of course! lol ^_^ but if one of my friends turned out to be a werewolf i would be like “I could sense you were a werewolf too, lets travel and run around in somen random forest is lets say…FORKS!! lol.

  38. I actually had a dream about that lastnight!
    I was walking with my friend then something freaked him out and he turned into a werewolf! XD
    I acted like it was an everyday thing.

  39. I think that I would be kinda weirded out and then talk to her about it. Cause you never no how they feel about it and what's going through their head.

    Omfg Kaleb!!! Your song is amazing! I love it!

  40. I would ask my friend what the heck they fed me to get me to hallucinate. Then if my friend happened to be a guy then I would ask him to marry me!

  41. O and I would pet him/her and be like I always wanted a giant dog! I really should not tell you about this time I played MASH! It was sooooo funny !!!

  42. 1. Jacob is a shapeshifter-not a werewolf like Prof Lupin. Hence he is a very large wolf who still has his own mental capacities.
    2. If my bf told me beforehand that s/he still had her/his own mental capacities so “don't worry”, I”d go to the other end of the room behind some large furniture and say…”Go ahead!”. Then, “Cool! Why did you wait so long to tell me?” I would be so psyched..
    3. I would probably suggest using his/her new strength in an Incredibles sort of way- crime stopping, for the better good…etc….I'd go learn some martial arts and….Can you tell I have an 8 year old son?

  43. Hi, Im from Sweden i would just like to say that I think your blog is hilarious and I read it every day. It's a shame the Twilight saga is not longer so you could have continued to write about it…
    Keep up the good work! 😀

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