A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 35 (Deadline) and Chapter 36 (Bloodlust)

The song for this chapter is My Heartstrings Come Undone by Demon Hunter


If you follow my other sites then you probably know by now that I recently purchase my first car (my admiration of which has been of some concern to my readers). When I went to look at cars, there were three simple requirements:

1. Shiny

2. Silver

3. Drives

“ZOMGRSHABIBBLE!” I hear voices roar. “DID YOU GET A VOLVO?!” No my friends. I did not get a Volvo. I am not Edward Cullen. If I was to get a shiny silver Volvo, I fear that every time I climb in, I would suddenly feel transformed into Mr. Cullen, vampire extraordinaire, and get the sudden urge to go speeding around corners and roaring down alleyways, which would not at all be appreciated by the local police.

When Bella last took Edward’s shiny silver Volvo into the rough side of town, I had this strange wish that someone will actually TRY to take the car from her. It would be nice to see them trying to drive off, and her simply grabbing the back of the car and stopping it in its tracks, whilst the bewildered criminal continues to push on the gas. Unfortunately she goes straight to the posh offices of Mr. J Jenks. No fun there. Booo. Way to ruin my fun Mr. Businessman sir.


It is very saddening to see the state that Bella and Edward are left in. Would they cry, if they were human? I can’t imagine the pain that they must be going through, knowing with almost sure certainty that they will be dying soon (or, the vampire equivalent of dying). I wonder greatly if it makes the pain easier knowing that they will at least die together, and not have to be apart for long, if they believe in some type of afterlife. It seems so hard to think of losing someone you love like that, especially when they’ve only had each other for so little time.

It makes me wonder also what Bella or Edward would do if one of them died, and the other lived. Would the world still be bearable for Edward, knowing that Bella, his true love, was really, truly gone forever, and he had no chance to ever get her back? I’m not sure anymore what Edward’s beliefs are of an afterlife, but it seems that if he doesn’t at least believe in some way for them to reunite, he might not feel life is worth living without her. When Bella is his whole world, and every bit of happiness in his life comes from her, then nothing will ever truly make him happy again. In a world with no joy, how could he truly go on?

When I think about this, suddenly the war and the werewolf feuding and every other problem surrounding Bella and Edward fades away again, and I’m back to where I started when it was just the two of them and their love. Would Bella and Edward be truly happy if they could simply go far away, on a deserted island with their daughter, and no one else who could ever hurt them, and no one could ever threaten to destroy them again?

Even as humans, it makes me wonder deeply about how we love someone — and if perhaps we can feel the type of love that Edward and Bella seem to feel for each other, that completely consumes every part of their identity. Is it wrong to love someone that much, where you value them so much above yourself and anyone else in the world that you’re willing to die together rather than be apart? Is that obsession, or is it love in its deepest form? I don’t really see where Bella is so afraid of death, actually. Every time she mentions it, she seems far more afraid of the results of death: the fact that somehow, it might cut her off from the person she loves.

The Volturi appear somewhat like a marching group of executioners in my mind, like a small army that has come to massacre the Cullens and start things over cleanly. It’s majestic in a foreboding way, how cool and organized they are. It’s almost as if in their minds, they believe they’ve already won. Perhaps this overconfidence will be their weakness if the fighting starts. It is also quite obviously a tense situation when the Volturi show up, and quite a confusing one as well. It appears at first that they are going to take the Cullens out without listening, but then Aro suddenly doesn’t seem so sure about it when he sees Renesmee in front of him.

There is some magic in Renesmee’s ability to change people. I don’t really understand it completely, but just her presence seems to be able to melt even the coldest of hearts: even these Volturi who seem so set against her and her family, and so set upon killing them all. Is this some sort of power of charisma that she has inherited, some abnormality that comes with being half-vampire and half-human? Aro has journeyed a long way to kill them all, and a few simple words from the child seem to hold him at bay, even to the surprise of the other Volturi. Now, it’s only a question as to if it will really be enough to save all their lives, or if Aro decides to be on the safe side and kill them all.


– no notes!



37 Responses

  1. Congratulations on your new car!
    You know, I think that if Edward or Bella died, and one was left, either of them would survive if they still had Renesmee. She would give them purpose and joy to continue, and would be a reminder of their lost loved one.

  2. Oh man! If one of them died while the other lived! Don't even suggest it. My heart would have broken and the sky would have fallen from the heavens. Alright, not that dramatically, but maybe it would hail?

  3. I think that although Edward and Bella love Renesmee just as much as they love eachother they couldn't survive without eachother even with her. Did you read New Moon? Yep that's what happens if one loses the other. Yes they love Renesmee but she has Jacob. As Bella realizes, Jacob is Renesmee's Edward. In a different type of relationship. It's more big brother but niether could live without the other. Bella is still incredibly selfless. Instead of fearing death it's self she fears the trouble it would cause for others.

    I wonder how Edward's opinions on souls and the afterlife have changed considering Bella is a vampire too now. We know from New Moon that he has at least some hope of an afterlife. He may believe that vampire's have souls now that Bella is one because I don't think he could ever believe her without a soul. I really don't see him
    thinking Bella doomed in the way he thought he was in previous books. I don't think either of them were completly convinced in their opinions so I imagine Edward being swayed in his opinion on souls.

    No volvo! Really then you might have mistaken as Edward Cullen to some crazy fangirl!

  4. But I think that Bella and Edward are both selfless enough to not make Renesmee live without both of her parents. I mean no matter how hard it would be to look at her and see a constant reminder of your lost love, how could you do that to someone who is young in age but would understand what happened only too well? Imagine if you lost both your parents. What if one could have stayed around but chose to leave? That would be a pretty horrific thing. And Renesmee would completely understand what happened because her mental and emotional abilities are so far advanced beyond that of an infant.

    I also think that Edward is still somewhat skeptical but he does believe in an afterlife. Or at least he has to hope, with the knowledge that death could be around the corner.

    You should have gotten a Volvo. I understand why you didn't though. I have a feeling that I would not want to be on any st

  5. Totally got cut off for no reason!

    street that you may have been driving that little Volvo on. And I think your car is wonderful. Just don't pretend your Edward Cullen. I mean, you could pull it off but I'm a little worried about the lack of vampiric reflexes. I don't know what I would do without my twilight guy!

  6. I had to laugh about the car. Congrats Kaleb. I've been reading but can't seem to find where it says WHY your moving to california?

    As for Bella and Edward, I was just heartsick when I first read these chapters. I think Bella would live for her daughter, but Edward would be toast. If Jacob survived and was there for Renesmee, I dont' think they would stay. I happen to know a living Bella and Edward. “Bella” died recently and her husband misses her terribly. they were married for 60 years + and to watch them was like watching first love. They were amazing. But I agree with the other girl who mentioned New Moon… it woudlnt' be any different.

    Aro is a conniving bastard. Hes' only stopped because There are way too many witnesses for him to selfishly take what he wants. Which of course is Alice and Edward. And Alice is gone. He has to protect his empire, because that is what he has built.

  7. Omg i was getting soo excited then thinkin u were buying a shiney silver volvo! Dam u Kaleb!
    (Before Nessie) If either Edward or Bella died they would definatley kill themselves, i dont think its because they cant bear to live without each other i think its because they both believe that their is an after life and if they both died they will be together forever any ways. However now Nessie's here i dont know weather or noth they would kill themselves if one or the other died. I think maybe they would wait until she was a fully grown vamp (7 years) and then kill themselves as long as they know shes happy and safe – with Jacob most probs.

  8. i agree with what ppl are saying, even though they have a daughter. They still cant live with out each other. maybe they can a little but i dont think u can really call that living. i think it would be like a flower or a tree, living on only drinking water once every fews month, getting wilted and almost dieing, everyday an agonizing time, and looking at their daughter, and they family would just be a reminder of what was.

  9. nice car Kaleb. and you may not have gotten a volvo, but your car still has another link to Twilight: Rosalie's red convertible is a BMW. your car is a cross between Edward's and Rosalie's, and both of them speed.

  10. Um, actually, Aro isn't affected by Renesmee at all. He's creepy like that. He just wants to keep on his “white hat”. It was the werewolves, ironcally, that made him stop.

  11. Random side note: I for some reason just imagined the Volturi walking up to them dramatically with the Darth Vader theme in the backround. It fits the scene so well ­čÖé lol.

  12. Nice car. I couldn't help thinking that the only reason they stopped was because Aro wanted to find out more about Renesmee before he killed all of them. He's also really psychotic, so he may have just stopped to give the Cullens false hope before he destroyed all of them. Aro doesn't seem the type to just kill and be done with it, that's more like Caius. He probably wanted to beat the Cullens in a sly but thorough way before killing them.

  13. Hmm the Darth Vader music or the Daleks music from Doctor Who? LOL

    I think that Bella and Edward would not be the same if the other died. I don't see them living without the other. I don't think that they'd deliberately try to die, but they would fight to the death. As we aleady know, Bella is planning to send Jacob and Renesmee away as quickly as possible so they can live.

    Aro is such a creep. He's just trying to make it plausible for them to sentence them all. Also, it's not just Alice and Edward that he wants, it's Bella too. And when he discovers the truth about Renesmee, he'll want her too.

  14. ya know i would have thought that you would have been more worried about the fan girls that would start screaming the second they saw a Volvo and less about the police lol

    well i think that if Renesme does know that one of her parents have died and saw how painful it was to see one live with out the other she would want the other to…move on? she does have jake so i dont think she would feel lonely,if she is as mentally developed,i think she would understand that her parent are happier when they are together then apart,and that they do love her and are willing to give up a huge pice of who they are to see her happy

    ….does that make sense?….well it did in my head

  15. Well first of all,imagine the pain it will cause them if one of them died….. I mean its something that hurts you so deeply,it will be hard to just reduce the pain a litle. And being a vampire doesent help cause emotions change you permanetly. Just tink that you love someone,with waaaaaay,waaaaaaaaaaaaay more intensity and passion than first love(or the strongest love you have felt) and then you lose that person. Now, try to decide to live even after that true lover is gone. The pain…………it makes me cry just tinking about it. But Bella and Edward would evaluate the situation differently. Bella is a really unselfish person and she is going to tink about the consecuenses her death is going to cause Reneesme. I tink she is the one that┬┤s more likely to choose to stay alive with Reneesme. Not that she is going to take that option. Edward is going to be devastated if Bella dies. I mean she is the reason of his existence. Edward would tink twice about killing himself because of Reneesme but he is the one that is more likely to choose the die option. And It is a liltle sad to live with a constant reminder of that person you lost (in Edward┬┤s case Reneesme┬┤s eyes and blush,in Bellas case R┬┤s face.) .Thats my opinion. Congrats Kaleb,is nice to have a new car!!!! Love your website!!!!

  16. well. if one of them dies, the other will surely survive FOR renesmee, but will that be enough?! I think it will only make it worse to have a reason to stick alive. and I dont think that renesmee was the only reason that stopped the volturie. they stopped after they saw the pak, n maybe because aro thought it was a huge waste n he wanted to ask them to join the volturie again before they kill them. n they werent totally affected by renesmee after aro saw her, especially caius, he was trying to find a strong reason to finish the cullens with aro till they found out about bella's shield getting strong n made their escape.

  17. “Is it wrong to love somone that much”
    That struck a nerve with me… In real life I just think it might. Vampires and the way emotions change them, the fact that thy are immortal and the one true love / partner thing being a given with them would exclude them. But for the rest of us, who will die eventually, that seems more like obsession…

  18. I don't know if it's wrong to love someone that much or not. I never have.
    However, I do think believing you won't be able to go on and knowing it are two different things. They really have no way of knowing whether or not they can live apart, because it hasn't been tested yet.
    Reminds me of a story someone was telling the other day about what would happen if zombies ever attack. He said he would kill his kids, because he wouldn't want them to live through the pain of being killed by zombies. Plus, they would be screaming and would draw the zombies to them faster. See, in theory, that's his plan. In reality, I don't care if zombies were present or not, killing your kids…. not something I can ever imagine.
    I also think that, like has been eluded to ahead of me, the fact that we're discussing vampires is something to take into consideration. My Dad lived on 20 some years after my Mom died, but he believed he would see her again. We can always fall back on the fact that we know we'll die someday too. Chances are pretty good, Volturi attacks aside, that vampires will live forever. So, knowing for sure that you will never see your love again would probably drive them to pretty crazy actions.

  19. If one of them died, the other one would follow. If Bella died, Edward would without a doubt kill himself (just like he tried in New Moon) and though Bella is selfless, there would be nothing that would hold her in the world without Edward, not even her daughter (specialy because she knows she will be safe with Jacob). In New Moon she said that the only way for her to be able to live was to know that Edward existed. Losing him now would be to much, since her feelings are so much stronger. Thera are many parts in BD where she states that. One of them in Chapter 34: “I would not live without Edward again; if he was leaving this world, then I would be right behind him.” There is no doubt in my mind that this time Bella wouldn't go on without Edward.

  20. i def. think that Edward would kill himself if Bella died and vice versa. Considering that in BD, Bella basically attempted suicide via cliff because she thought Edward didn't love her, and that Edward tried to kill himself because he thought she was dead, I think they would.

    And of course the Volturi think they've already won, that's just how they are. After being around for that long and winning every other time… it makes sense that they're confident.

  21. If it weren't for Renesmee I┬┤d say it would be exactly like moon and the one surviving would try to kill himself. But since Renesmee is alive I think neither one will try to commit suicide if the other dies. When Bella first realizes she's pregnant she says something about loving her baby just as much as edward. I don't think edward feels any less for his daughter, so with renesmee still being alive they would at least put some effort in trying to go on, I think. Well, Renesmee has still Jake, but I don't think they would just leave her with him…

  22. Hey Kaleb! I just got my copy of Bran Hambric from Amazon! I am really excited to start reading it! Congratulations on your first book!!

  23. no QFTC??

    And no, they wouldn't kill themselves. They each understand that if they had died, and the other one lived, they wouldn't want the liver to kill themselves, and would respect that, at least until Renesmee grows up.

    Oh and btw, Becky, Bella didn't try to commit suicide. She was cliff-diving. its a sport. she was doing dangerous things to hear Edward's voice in her crazy head, not because she had a death wish.

  24. “Every time she mentions it, she seems far more afraid of the results of death: the fact that somehow, it might cut her off from the person she loves.”

    Isn't that why everyone is “afraid” of death, though? There's really no point in living unless you have the people you love around you constantly. They're the only thing that really keeps me alive, anyway. Maybe that's just me…

  25. I have spent a long time trying to imagine Edward w/out Bella, Bella w/out Edward is easier thanks to New Moon but Edward W/out Bella seems more difficult for me to picture…I don't know they are for each other. Yes Renesmee is amazing in that the Volturi Want her and her family dead and she but has a few moments w/ Aro and he now seems like he wants other wise…Caius is the only one her charms hold nothing for but I guess he was never near her so…you never know.

  26. If Edward or Bella died and one survived, I believe that the other would stay alive for their daughters sake. Even though their heart has been ripped out of them, they're not selfish, and they won't leave their daughter no matter what. Leaving Renesmee isn't even an option. Even though their true love has been taken away from them, the other would never want them to leave their daughter like that for them. Their daughter is everything to them if they left their daughter it would be the same pain from when edward and bella parted all over again except 10 times worse. No matter how depressed they are they wont be able to bring themselves to the desicion to part from Renesmee. She's just to wonderful in so many ways.

  27. If Edward or Bella died and one survived, I believe that the other would stay alive for their daughters sake. Even though their heart has been ripped out of them, they're not selfish, and they won't leave their daughter no matter what. Leaving Renesmee isn't even an option. Even though their true love has been taken away from them, the other would never want them to leave their daughter like that for them. Their daughter is everything to them if they left their daughter it would be the same pain from when edward and bella parted all over again except 10 times worse. No matter how depressed they are they wont be able to bring themselves to the desicion to part from Renesmee. She's just to wonderful in so many ways.

  28. OMG Bella you have jacob likes you and edword and it happend to me to we should be like sisters LOL from your favrit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell edword he is cute and jacob i don't like one thing he a wolf thats the only thing i love his 8 pack

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