A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Stephenie Meyer Was Here

After all the wonderful people who have come in the past few days, I didn’t think things could get better. Then the Queen herself paid me a visit.

In case the largest portion of you don’t already know, Stephenie Meyer came here, and laughed “buckets”. She liked it so much, she blogged about it. Looking at they way she pictures Bella’s truck, I was surprised to find this truck is almost exactly the same color.

Stephanie’s coming is wonderful news. For a very long time before I even began reading Twilight, I watched nearly every video tagged Stephenie Meyer Book Signing on Youtube. She is such an interesting person that I couldn’t help it, and even when she was talking about stuff in the book I would soak it all in, since as a writer one day I want to be just like her, or even somewhere nearby.

However, in light of this, I must let you know that Saturday, I flew out of town. I am now hours away from home. And previously not expecting to have Stephenie Meyer herself come to my site (and subsequently 10,000 people and counting within 3 hours) I left my copy of Twilight at home.

Hang Him! You Shout

As I write that, I just pictured 10,000 people beginning to tie a hangman’s noose, with the intention of punishing me for my severe stupidity. Leave Twilight at home?! I must be going mad. If you dispense of the noose, from now on I will keep a copy of Twilight glued to my hip everywhere I go (which will make for a very interesting conversation starter, or better yet a work of mobile modern art).

I do promise that the moment I get home this evening, I will begin reading Chapter 2, and thus posting about it late tonight or early tomorrow. Don’t worry: I want to get to it even more than you want me to.

And a note back to Stephenie, if she ever sees this: Edward needs a sweeter ride anyway. I’m expecting your vampires to drive fire trucks in Breaking Dawn. And wear capes:

Harry Potter turned Edward into a Dog.

Edward Cullen, Scooby style.

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53 Responses

  1. You know SM was the reason I visited this site. And I do have to say it’s quite amusing. I will be checking back on your progress. It will be interesting to hear another literary person’s opinion on it. I am a writer as well. However, my vampaholic nature doesn’t allow me to make judgement on vampire books. It’s like asking an alcoholic if they like the bottle in their hand. So good reading, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. I hope you are honest about it, even if you think some parts are kind of silly or what, I hope you are fearless and post it anyway.

  2. Hmmm….I was curious about your site. And while you are correct about the hangman’s noose, I’m sure twilighter’s everywhere will try to forgive you of your mishap. I do hope that you will try to give it an honest opinion; even if it does mean death by vampire venom :-)I’ll keep reading!

  3. I’m surprised you blogged again. Anyways, I always used to carry around Twilight at school, i looked like such a nerd:)) the Edward comment made me laugh, stay hilarious as always;)

  4. firetrucks and capes? haha, good one!

    It’s so awesome how you want to be a great writer like our beloved Stephenie Meyer!

    we forgive you! we dont bite…at least, not yet that is, hahaha.

    i liked how you imagined Bellas truck to be a firetruck! XD

    and guys who read Twilight?? HOT!! haha

    so, what chapter are you on?

    how are you liking…loving the book? =D

  5. I love that, Edward Cullen Scooby Doo style…
    Yeah, and you really should glue Twilght to your hip so you don’t forget it. It’s my 3rd time reading the book series, and every time I’m not able to put the book down. My friend and I stay up until like 1:00am just talking about Edward’s supreme hotness and whether or not Bella will become a vampire in the next book ((she better.)) I’m totally going to the midnight release party for Breaking Dawn. And yeah, finish the whole series by August 2nd. Then you can get the 4th book at midnight too. <3
    Haha. I always write long things like this…
    Elizabeth

  6. We won’t hang you… this time. But be warned, forgetting Twilight is not a far cry from being massacred.

    I found this site on Stephenie’s blog, actually, and I love it. I know that the portion of males who read Twilight are far fewer than the portion of females, so it’s very amusing to see Twilight read from a man’s perspective.

    I’ll be checking back for your progress. =)

  7. Any guy who reads Twilight (and likes it) is amazing. 😀 Go to prom with me? Haha

    Anyways, I’m definitely telling all my friends about this site and I’ll be sure to check back to see how you’re doing!

    Happy reading and good luck with your own series!

  8. You’re all kinds of awesome.
    The fire truck was a nice touch – now I’ll forever think of them when I reread Twilight for the nth time.
    I also love your Scooby-doo reference. I have a Great Dane which looks identicle to Scooby-doo, and now I have the ever increasing urge to dress him up in a cape,give him fangs (and yes I know, real vampires don’t have fangs, so shhh), then call him Edward. (He actually kind of reminds me of Edward already. He has a lopsided grin -BWAHAHAHA have you seen the lips on Danes, HILARIOUS-, he’s moody, he’s stubborn, but all the ladies love him!)
    Anyways, this comment has really gotten out of hand.
    So to sum it all up (and which was the first thing I stated), a man reading Twilight is the hottest thing ever, and it’s awesome that Stephenie agrees.
    Onward with the revelations!

  9. An honest guy??
    Wow, brave and stupid to admit you didnt take twilight with you, lol. only joking.

    Can’t wait to see what you think of chapter 2!

  10. Haha. I love this. I found your site from a link on the Twilight Lexicon, and man, I’m not dissapointed. I can’t wait to hear what you think of the books. Kudos to you for venturing into the world of Twilight! You won’t be let down. 😉

  11. omg! finally! I have been trying to get people to read Twilight especially my guy friends. but some of my girl friends wont even read it! I’m just glad you will be giving it a try and I will keep on comin back to see how you like it
    so what are you waiting for!! GET READING ALREADY! ;p
    SarahC

  12. I just have to comment. Something I normally wouldnt do. I just wanted to let you girls know that there is hope for your men in the twilight world. My husband,32, found himself stranded on the “thinking throne” with nothing to read. Since he only reads things with pictures I didnt have much to offer in the way of literary salvation. Finally he sighed/grunted and said..”Just bring me that stupid book you are so obsessed with.” I obliged and he promptly absorbed all three books over the next couple of weeks. He did, however, insist on removing the dust cover so no one would see he him reading it. He calls me Bella when I injure myself (yet again) and I call him Edward when he gets over protective and bossy. It is GOOD to have your man in the twilight loop!!!

  13. I was drinking a soda when I read your last lines and I almost spat it out laughing. You are awesome!

  14. I think the concept of your expedition is very amusing. I really, truly hope that you do like the books because they’re more than just a mushy love story. Good luck with the next chapter and I’ll be checking in!

    P.S. never…NEVER…leave your book at home! That was a really close call but don’t let it happen again. If you think you might have even 5 minutes of spare time YOU BRING THAT BOOK!!! Okay, good luck!

  15. You are officially my new hero. A guy that reads (or should I say, is reading) Twilight and sees it as more than just a sappy romance? I’m sure you’ll be getting plenty of marriage proposals within the next few weeks.

    Good luck!

  16. Wow, this is incredible, not only are you reading (and blogging about) Twilight, you actually like it. And you have a great sense of humor, and you write stuff that’s very easy to read.

    Hope you love the books as much as the rest of us Twilighters (or Twi-hards as I, myself like to be called.)

  17. I loved your comments on the first chapter, especially about the truck.
    And I love your image in this post about Edward lol
    I love you for reading Twilight, and a guy reading Twilight, that’s awesome enough for me! Although I already have a friend who reads the books.
    Edward Scooby style made me think of Edward Doggy Style (sorry, I’m such a perv) lol. And a mix of Edward and Jacob too.
    I’ll be checking your website for your brilliant and funny opinions on Twilight.

  18. Hey TwilightGuy…
    I really like how your words flow and how you are so sensetive to all the little details of twilight. And not to mention that your hilarious!! If you do become a writer… i support you. I myself have that aspiration. Although I’m too young, still not even out of high school…. Well I wish you the best of luck with this and tell those guys that look at you funny that the girls love guys who read twilight. The guys that do, have a very good role model, Edward. If all the guys out there would be like edward… *swoon* ahhhhh!! Have fun reading Twilight!!!
    -april
    p.s. oh and ill be checking your site a lot. I love your insight in the book.

  19. Kaleb,
    It would be intriguing if someone were to glue Twilight to their hip…ironically I’m sure that there are many people who are considering your suggestion (and I’m one of them). Thank you for the post, it is always enjoyable to read good and entertaining writing. I checked out the premise for your own book and I can’t wait to read it. Congratuations!
    Happy Reading!

  20. Kaleb,
    You’re Funny! And Smart, nice going bringing the Stephenie Meyers’ fans to the table! I’d venture to say you’ve gotten yourself some new fans in the process. I’ll be looking for your book when it comes out next year.

  21. Great site. My husband read the books before me! He liked them. He knew, of course, that I would like them more than him because:
    He got tired of the descriptions of how beautiful Edward is
    He didn’t need the love talk
    He did, however love the vampire action.
    Have fun reading them, you are not the first guy to do so!

  22. Yes, I found out about your site because of Stephenie. And you are winning kudos for when you do become a writer, with you turning into a Twilighter and whatnot. Please remember to keep your copy of Twilight with you at ALL times. 🙂

  23. haha…this is so cool, a friend told me to check out this site and im loving it! ive read the book like 12 times, no kidding, and it gets better each and everytime. when i open it up again, i realize something i didn’t when i read it before. its just freaking awesome. ive decided to cut back on my re-reading twilight and the other two books, soon to be three ;), so it makes it even MORE special. i loooove stephenie and i have never known anybody could make reading a book so darn interesting..even the twelfth or thirteenth time. twilight is so amazing, quote “it hurts to think about it” hahaha. i loveeeee all the twlight people out there, it sort of brings us all togethor, infinite x’s and o’s bc guys who read twilight are most definitely the sexiest and have the most amazing choice in books. p.s. edward cullen scooby doo style was classic 😀

  24. My husband just started reading Twilight after acknowledging my 3-month obsession. We loved your video. Ahhh… EDWARD. Ahhahahahaahah!

  25. Well, now that you’re reading Twilight, I figured I should start reading the 2nd book so you wouldn’t get ahead of me. I actually went to the library today and put a hold on it. 😉

    It’s really awesome that Stephenie Meyer actually came here and read the post! 😉 I mean, this site hasn’t even been up for very long, and now you’ve already had Stephenie herself come here! That’s pretty amazing.

    Keep up the good work!

    -Catherine

  26. Actually, Jacob would wear the cape. (Because Scooby Doo is a dog.)
    But you’re not that far in the book yet, so it’s okay.

  27. It is incredible that you are blogging about reading Twilight. I will make sure to read on your process. I’m interested to see what you truly think about the book. I know what the girls think but what about the guys..? I also love the humor; firetrucks and scooby doos. Humorous.

  28. One word…
    Hilarious!
    The blog is freaking hilarious!
    Well personally I am proud to admit to be a Twilight fan…I just skim over the fact that it is essential a romance novel when talking to others. When people do ask what Twilight is about I say ‘vampires’, no words close to romance novel come up in the conversation. Sure the plot centers on the romance between Bella and Edward (I have to say thank god he is never called Ed or Eddy that would just completely ruin his persona) but it is a fatal romance between two beings that don’t really belong together according to the ‘food chain’ which has caught and subsequently held my attention.
    And the fact that Kristen Stewart is playing Bella in the film sure made me happier then a 5 year old in a candy store.

  29. Kaleb, you, my dear are funny, or at least your writing is funny. You remind me of some of the guys in my afternoon classes. I will be coming back everyday to see your blogs!!! By the way, the noose isn’t meant for you, its meant for me, once people see my copy of Twilight (its so beat up it fell in two, literally). Have fun reading the rest of the book, it’ll be interesting to hear your interptation of it…
    Gabrielle

  30. The way I see it, Gabrielle, is that the more beat up a book is the more it is favored from the interest of its readers. Having a book read so many times that it is falling apart is a compliment to the writer. It shows that it definately is on your top favorite book list.

  31. you are not offically my new hero, and guy who reads the Twilight books and openly admits it is compleatly and totally hot!

  32. Hey there, well the day I found out about this site is the day SM bloged about it hours later. I really enjoy the way you write about the books. Aww come on how come you forgot your copy, I always have a copy of twilight somewhere I go. I made my boyfriend get me two copies just in case..lol
    Enjoy chapter two

  33. Dude–have you ever had so many chicks here at once? Wowzas! 😉

    We will only hang you if you don’t finish blogging about your Twilight reading adventures :).

  34. DUDE, FRIST OF ALL, YOU’RE FREAKIN’ AWESOME AND FREAKIN’ HI-larious!!!!!
    But i must admit that I, as well as many others i persume, did visit upon your site due to the mentioning of stephenies’ name and the Twilight Lexicon..but give yourself some credit..I also decided to check your site out because you’re a guy shockingly reading twilight!..but us girls and “twilighters” knew one of you guys would join us sometime…
    But i must say now that i got a chance to read and learn a little bit about what you’re about, I will not continue to visit your site soely on the fact that it contains information on the greatest book EVER written, but because you are the Twilight guy and you took a chance, came into our world and are trying to understand what it’s all about. You’ve made quite a name for yourself and now we want to know about you (and what you think of the book)…I hear you’re a writer and i hope to be one of your biggest fans as well someday…
    but i digress…i will not badger you on the fact that you left the “bible” at home..but i must say that you really shouldnt let it happen again because to my dismay i will have to disown you and dislike you as the twilightguy.
    I know, that’s pretty harsh, but thats how its got to be as a fan and forever a Twilighter.

    p.s
    i hope this isnt asking much, but i heard that Stephenie herself really enjoys your site..well if you get the honor sometime to talk to her, i would GREATLY appericate it as her fan and yours as well if you would ask her to give me a shout-out anytime(Olivia Azor-Twilighter and biggest fan)and if she ever does if you could mention it on your site)…but I highly doubt i’ll get my shout-out from Stephenie, but you are my next biggest idol, so if you could give me a shout-out as well, that would be an unbelievable honor as well…Thnk you twilight guy!(sorry you had to read all of this..i’ll try to keep it short and sweet next time!)

  35. Ok I have to say that I absolutely adore you. I came across your site as so many others have through Stephenie Meyer’s blog. I think your writing is very entertaining. And a guy reading Twilight is extremely hot! Good luck and happy reading 🙂

  36. I love you’re site! I have been watching it since you read the first chapter and I have been absolutly loving it! You are hilarious! You deserve kudos! Seriously!

  37. I agree Edward Does need a sweeter ride ’cause volvos suck!!!….And that would be awesome if he wore a cape in Breaking Dawn!!!

  38. Books-A-Million is hosting THE party of the Summer for all Twilight fans. Celebrate the midnight release of Breaking Dawn with Twilight trivia contests, costume contests, prizes, and much more! Party starts at 10pm on Friday, August 1st. Visit you local Books-A-Million to pre-purchase the book today and be the first in line to get Breaking Dawn at midnight, you won’t get it anywhere else faster!

  39. I keep Twilight with wherever I go. Well, I did until I was asked if I had joined some sort of Twilight cult. Not to mention, twice in the same week at school I had a random person (two different people) come up to me and simply say ‘Your the Twilight freak, right?’ and the second time ‘Hey, your the one that’s obbsessed with Twilight!’ That kind of scared me, I didn’t realize I had become that crazed. I think it was partially because I was wearing my Edward t-shirt.

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