A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

TwilightGuys Report: Twilight Made Him Miss Playoffs

Starting this week, between posting on the next few chapters (early tomorrow!) I’ll have some of the stories from other TwilightGuys around the world who secretly read the books. There are some hilarious accounts coming up, people!

But to make things even better, TWILIGHT TEEZ, the official place to get all your Twilight gear, has offered to give prizes away on twilightguy.com! So coming up, I’ll be able to give out loads of cool Twilight stuff to you faithful readers! They have a shop full of stuff, some of it straight from Stephenie herself (including the famous Edward Fan Club shirt everyone seems to wear to her signings).

So to start off, every guy whose story is featured for the next few weeks will be receiving a prize: this week, it’s an official blue Danger Magnet T-Shirt! Guys, if you want to win, start sending your stories in here (girls and TwilightMoms, drag them over if you have to!). Also, very soon I will have some contests for everyone else (including the girls) to win a bunch of this cool stuff– however, if you’ve got an itch to win something Twilighty, my friends at HisGoldenEyes.com are giving away some stuff to celebrate 1-million hits, and to enter all you gotta do is email your name.

But for now: the first TwilightGuys Report:


“I lost my wife for weeks straight as she “decided” to read this book after hearing all the “girls” talk about it. Well after dealing with her spending night after night reading and re-reading the books I became frustrated with the situation. To make it worst, Mother-In-Law and Sister-In-Law become obsessed as well. All I heard about at family dinners was Edward this Edward that. This person could be a Vampire, la la la. Well on a business trip to Denver,CO I came across a Hard Back copy of Twilight and I decided I would give it to my wife. Currently she has continued to beg and borrow copies of the paperback because we’ve been unsuccessful in finding a hard back copy. Well I spent countless hours on a flight and a few late nights in a hotel room. Well before I was aware I was reading the book until 2 AM and actually skipped over NBA playoffs to read the book. AAAHHHHHH…… great now I’m hooked and my wife still is not aware because the business trip is still going for another couple of days. I’m going to lose my man card when the “boys” find out I skipped basketball to read a romance novel..”

Submitted by C H



35 Responses

  1. Hey, I make it my habit to visit your site every now and then to check out updates. That was a really funny story!! hahaha I can’t wait to hear more from you;)

  2. So, to get this straight, we have to submit our “twilight story” to you, and then I could possibly win a prize? Hmmm, well my story isn’t as exciting as the one posted (great story by the way), but I’ll think of something.
    I look forward to read more of your chapter studies!
    Happy Reading!

  3. Haha that was a great story! Especially the part about hearing the Edward this and Edward that because it’s so true. 🙂 But missing the NBA Playoffs was the icing on the cake! I always come by your site every couple of days and im glad I came today that really made my day.

  4. This guy has nothing to worry about. The American Society of Guys (ASG) has issued a mandate that anyone who reads Twilight for the sake of understanding what is causing their otherwise well behaved wives to act like insane teens again. The mandate protects said guys from losing their mancards when they pursue this level of research.

    It’s a good thing, too, because otherwise I would have lost mine some time ago.

  5. hi there!

    i couldnt help but comment you, you’re just hilarious! and since I’m Spanish I’m glad I’m understanding you perfectly.

    Your blog’s in my favorites, love reading your progresses on Twilight!!

    I hope my message is understandable -__-

    regards, cheers, or whatever is proper 🙂

  6. I so wish my husband would read the Twilight series! He’s never read a book in his life (no seriously NEVER)! He just keeps telling me he will wait for the movie to come out. UGH! Of course he does get annoyed when me and my daughters talk about Edward and compare stuff in the book to real life and he doesn’t get it. Then I tell him hey you could read the book but you want to wait for the movie;-)

  7. ha, kudos to this guy. That story really surprized me! I’m curious to how his wife will react when he hands her the hard back, and she notices it’s been used…..

  8. Just started following this website, and I think I’ll be quoting it in my persuasive essay intended to get my parents to allow me to buy the Twilight Saga.
    Kudos for getting out there and dispelling the notion that the only people who read Twilight are teenage groupies who squeal and swoon a lot.

  9. Oh gosh, that guys confession about reading Twilight was hilarious!!! I’m a big NBA fan too & I have missed several games to read the series (I am however a girl) haha. Thanks for sharing. That was a good one!

  10. in my perfect world we would all be twilight girls/guys
    actually, strike that in my perfect world all the boys would be edward cullen and i would be bella! 😀

  11. hey! i love your site!

    I always get so happy when guys read twilight and love them as much as i do (though in a very different way 😉 ). This guy’s story was hilarious! It’s a happy day when a guy misses a basket ball game to read!! (lol can you tell i’m not into basketball?)

  12. GO ON, twilight guy! I wish all guys were like you xD Great work, keep going, you crack me up! 😀

  13. LOL I love that story! XD It was so awesome, twilight is way better than sports, but then again I don’t like sports to begin with….XD Anyway I think I’m addicted to your blog. This is not good. xD Look forward to more updates!

  14. This was so amusing.

    I must say, I really dig this blog….the whole concept, other stories, your opinions, etc.

    Thanks for the story.

  15. Haha! I loved the report! Missing the playoffs was definitely worth it, of course.

    All Twilight girls go absolutely crazy over Twilight guys. They’re the best type of male specimen (next to Edward, of course).

  16. This is so hilarious it has become a daily must read!

    But, instead of a mandate from the American Society of Guys they should hand out awards to any guy who reads Twilight.

    Think about it guys, you may have to suffer through a couple of “romance” novels but when you’re done you’ll know what all the women are talking about and you’ll know exactly how women want to be treated. You’ll practically turn into a chick magnet. Or, if you’re married, you’ll have a VERY happy wife and a happy wife likes to make her husband happy (if you know what I mean ;). What man card carrying guy wouldn’t want that?

  17. I absolutely love your website because it makes me laugh out loud! This story was so cute it just made my day. Also I just wanted to say that I love the pictures you add with all your new posts. They are really cute. Thank you twilight guy!!!

  18. W-O-W. Sports for guys is huge right? The playoffs being a main event. And he read a romance novel. ::giggle:: Yeah, sorry man, you are temporarily stripped of your “man” card. Redeem yourself!!!

  19. that was extremely hilarious. i cant wait for more storis like that. keep up the good work. your website is amazing. Im warning you once u read these books you will become obsessed. lol.

  20. My boyfriend wont read Twilight because its from a girls POV. But he will read Midnight Sun when it comes out but who knows when that is. But I got other guys to read Twilight 🙂

  21. Awesome!!! I LOVE twilight guys!! You dont find many of them…its like, rare. Actually a guy got me to read the series. I have a pretty funny story too….
    My little sister really wants to read the series, but she’s only 10. I’m not gonna let her until she’s 13. then she can really appreciate it. Love the story!! 🙂

  22. Heck yes, i haven’t gotten any guys to read it so far but, i might get my dad to read because he’s so sick of hearing about it every five seconds hehe. my friend Bonnie loves Jacob and I’m all for Edward so when she comes over we usually get in some sort of yelling match over whoses better (coughEDWARDcough) so i’m thinking that he’ll read it soon.

  23. lolz!!!!!!!!!! its k! u can hook up all ur friends withthe twilight series! then they won’t make fun of u. and the good thing is that girls love twilight guys!!!!

  24. My dad is going through the same thing right now. I have been talking about nothing but Twilight since June, I got my mom hooked a month ago, and now even my little sister who usually hates reading has gotten in to the series. My dad so far will not read it yet, but with three crazy obbsessed girls talking about it nonstop it’s only a matter of time…

  25. You wont lose your “man card”, for reading twilight you get a nice stamp on your man card, for being strong enough to read a romance novel from a woman's point of view. That is a real man in my opinion,

  26. You wont lose your “man card”, for reading twilight you get a nice stamp on your man card, for being strong enough to read a romance novel from a woman's point of view. That is a real man in my opinion,

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