(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

TwilightGuys Report: Twilighters Attack

April 30th, 2008 at 6:00 am by Kaleb Nation


TWILIGHTERS ATTACK

“My first experiences with the Twilight series was actually quite
violent. I went to an arts high school where the common goth reigned
supreme. Being a guy surrounded by all these artsy female types, it
is easy to say that Twilight swept through the school like forest
fire, and everyone was bitten by its ‘sparkling’ beauty. So the mob
of twilighters was formed. My little group, mostly comprised of
vampire worshipping women, were going on their rants about who’s the
better boyfriend for Bella, and, being a naive and curious
individual, I decided to say that “Who would want a salivating
vampire on their neck?” BIG mistake. Long story short, mob of angry
women jumped from the tables, preaching their twilight cult, holding
their books like Bibles, and had me etched into the pavement. They
ambushed me in swarms, cornered me against walls, whenever they had
the chance. And, being a small school, word spread throughout all
the art departments and I would have a random group of twilighters
chase me each day for their school-wide twilight intervention. Some
came in their ballet tutus, some with their faces painted with war
paint, some in costumes for the up and coming plays. Ballet shoes,
canvases, and musical instruments were raised like torches and
pitchforks… NO ONE was safe…

SO!, in fear of similar events in
the future, I read the entire series in under two days… Suffice it
to say, I will admit I reread the series for pleasure.”

Submitted by DM

Free T-shirt to you DM for the story, thanks to TwilightTeez!


Posted in TwilightGuys Report


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55 Responses

  1. C-RO

    You people who are laughing at this talk tough over the internet but should it come down to seriousness I don't think you would be that way. Say that the next story on here is about someone who is killed for not liking Twilight. Would you think it's still funny? If you answer yes then you're a despicable excuse for a human who deserves to burn in hell and will get whats coming to you. I'm a guy and TWILIGHT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There I said it. Yes I've been attacked before and it still didn't change my oppinion on the books (yes I did read all 4 of them. So do something about it but I warn you I know how to defend myself and am not afraid of Twilight fans be it boys or girls. Also I doubt a paintbrush can take on a sword.

  2. C-RO

    BTW. JK about the sword part. Yes I really can defend myself though.

  3. Mrs. Whitlock

    My BF hates the series and  I love it! sure sometimes he tries to hide my book and pretend he burned it or just says how much he hates it but the most I ever abuse him because of this was just a thump on the head! These people are crazy beating a guy up because he cracked on a book! Some people SHOULD be put in jail for reading twilight ( ONLY in reserved cases) my family constantly says  I should be sent to jail for reading the series ( they HATE the idea of sparkly vampires). But seriously what is this world coming to where people attack other people for hating a book!

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  5. Tai Game of War

    I dont even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

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