A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)
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WHAT YOU (SNURGLE)! WHAT A (OINK)ING (SNORT)! MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T OH AND YOU WRITE GJ |
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(Sorry, some words were lost in translation 😉 but I just had to post it. Next chapter early tomorrow!)
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247 Responses
Ariana!(48th comment) I pretty much just laughed my pants off! hahaha, holy crap, i’m still laughing!I believe that was the funniest comment i’ve ever read.
Hahaha, in a way, guys who read Twilight are like guys who wear pink shirts….Lol, only the manlyiest men will read Twilight..<3
Erm…. His words are quite brave and macho, but did anyone else notice that he decided to leave his comment with only his initials? Sounds like someone can dish it out, but is quite a pansy about taking it.
Kaleb, you are the Anti-Pansy.
Wow. Aren’t you feeling the love Kaleb. He seems to adore you!
Keep at it! Your perspective is very interesting! You Rock.
Wow, that guy is so dumb. Kaleb, you are awesome I think it makes you more of a guy because you read twilight. plus your funny too, I promise I’ll read your book when It comes out. Hes just jelous that you are so popular 😀
LOL @ Ariana! bwahahaha… Go on with your bad self Kaleb – WE LOVE YOU! Can’t wait for your report on the next chapter!
I hate to be crude, but to put it frankly: he isn’t getting laid because he didn’t read Twilight.
Also, more than 50 comments have been left insulting him, and there oodles of Twilight fans rallying around you, Kaleb.
Huzzah for intellect and creativity on this website. Opposite of Huzzah because I think that piggy education needs more funding.
Haha! Well, I’m not quite sure how one can “red” a book.
Silly me, I thought you were “reading” it.
;]
Well, his loss. He probably just got upset after reading the first chapter because he couldn’t figure out what all the big words meant.
XD
Enjoy your “red”!
hahahahahahahahahahahaha omg! that guy is soooo stupid. im acutally getting my mom’s boyfriend to read it… 🙂 *happy dances* now he can finally understand why im soooo obssessed! and how can you ‘red’ a book, last time i checked it was a color not a verb… well, im glad that your not one of those freaks who think that!!
<33 dani cullen
omg!
ROTFLMAO @ Ariana (alice)
I had to come back to see the twilighters response to this idiot pig and I read that comment. I almost fell off my chair in hysterics XD
My goodness. Kaleb, it’s Greg here again. I think someone here is a little bit bitter. He doesn’t realize how much he can learn from Edward Cullen.
And I love his spelling skills. They are quite amusing, no? Ah… I just can’t believe that he would completely miss the obvious here. Girlfriend = trying to bring him into her life, because she’s not going to ditch Twilight for him. (Who would, the (snort)hole.) So he goes and dumps her, and then sends a message to a random guy on the internet who is writing a blog about the book? Yes. Someone is bitter. Very bitter.
I’m bitter, too. But that’s because I lost my soccer game. – GS
…time to fry some bacon?
😉
Lol Ariana that was hilarious!
Did you just try to kill me with big words? hahaha
As for this guy, he is an insucure idiot. I doubt that he even had a girlfriend! And i also doubt that he dumped her. If any guy i know said anything bad about Twilight, the next thing you would here would be his head hitting the floor. I cant hurt this guy, unfoutunatly, so can u pleeesee give us his email so we can murder him with hate-mail??
-Morgan
NOLA—i do have a certain craving for pork 😀 I think burnt to a crisp is good, no?
Hahaha! That was freaking hilarious. Oh gosh I wish so much that they would replace expletives with pig noises on tv.
THAT ****ING ******BAG!!!!!!! HE CAN JUST GO TO **** AND KISS MY ****ING ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE HE IS FOREVER TORTURED BY THE FANGIRLS HE HAS ANGERED!!! AND WHAT THE **** IS WITH HIS SPELLING!? RED? ITS SPELLED R-E-A-D YOU IDIOT! YOU **** *** YOU HORRIBLE JERK!
Okay I got that off of my chest….. I want this guys e-mail though… I wanna nag him about his spelling, then yell at him. I mean O.M.G. I’m in rabid fangirl mode right now! That girl he dumped deserves a lot better. Jesus, I’m so mad!
But anyway, Kaleb, you are amazing. Just keep in mind, girls love guys who read romance, especially Twilight. This ******bag is dead wrong. Guys become men when they read romance (once again, especially Twilight) because they can finally learn a little on how they need to treat women! Edward Cullen is a perfect teacher for all the guys out there!
What an uber-toad! I hope that some of the Twilighters from the previous post find him…
:O
We should all gang up against this guy!
BWAHAHAHAHA!
And roast him… he is a pig anyway… YUM PORK.
LOL.
HAHAHA! I’m laughing at all the requests for his email address. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back begging me not to give it out 😉
@ Nola up there, who wants to start frying bacon. HAHA
–Kaleb
HEHEHEHE!!! What a dirt ball! Kaleb, you rock and I’m glad you can laugh at stuff like that. Of course it probably would have been more effective if he could even spell. I find it interesting that he actually took the time to find your site and send you the email though. I’m thinking the girlfriend dumped him when giving him the book showed her just how big of an (oink)hole he is. Keep your head up Kaleb. We love you. As for this jerk…pig roast anyone? Here piggy piggy piggy.
Hey Kaleb!
I have to say, that made me laugh quite a bit! You’re right, some guys will really never learn *sigh*
My personal favorite:
“YOU (SNURGLE)! WHAT A (OINK)ING (SNORT)!”
Somebody needs to watch their language… lol. Thanks for keeping us all entertained with your adventures in Twilight! Have fun reading! 🙂
– Michelle
BellaAndEdward.com
Wow! Some guy actaully wrote that what a jerk cussing is bad!
Ha ha! That just made my day!
That was amazing! Totally made my night =) It takes a real guy to read a book like Twilight.
All I have to say is that… wow. Um, what is a guy like that doing on this site anyway? Hmmm… He’s obviously reading it secretly and loving every word of every chapter. What a (oink)bag. Kaleb, you’re amazing, and you entertain me, which is great. Whenever I see a guy reading Twilight, or if I know that he’s read the series, my respect level rises like 60%. There’s this guy at school who calls me Priscilla Cullen every time he sees me because last month or so I saw him carrying a Twilight book and approached him. I asked if he’s reading it, and he said that he’s read it about seven times already, and that he absolutely loves the series. I was like.. wow. That’s amazing! I asked to see his book and he had written all over it. Things like “vampires rock” and “edward<3bella”.. He was a little embarrassed, but I told him that my book was written on too, except with things like “Edward Cullen<3Priscilla Cullen”, “Edward is sexy”… So yeah, I’m done rambling. Keep on reading, because trust me, that guy is into it. Really into it :]]
That was probably the greatest comment/review thing I’ve ever read. Hilarious.
I propose a feast! A potluck, really. We all bring things for a picnic style luncheon.
Problem is, we need meat.
…
I think you’re all thinking what I’m thinking.
Up for hunting, anyone?
But honestly, that would be scary. I just finished reading Lord of the Flies – good book – so hunting pigs is not on my agenda.
It could, however, be on yours.
Priscilla – brilliant story. I like that guy at your school. I would love for someone to call me Joanna Cullen.
You know what’s crazy? There’s a guy in my class named Jasper. I almost DIED when I learned his name. First thing I said to him: “What’s your last name?” He responded with something generic, like ‘smith’ or ‘Jackson’. *sigh* ….
On with the pig hunting!
Wow! Now that made him appear REALLY intelligent. Now ALL the girls will want him!
*throws “GJ” an English dictionary*
I like to think that I have good control when it comes to not resorting to violence, but in this one case, I think I could slip. You know, for the good of the world and all that jazz.
And GJ should be teaching the local Ebonics class. With language like that he could truly educate the youth of today. 😉
wow. i dont think that guy understands that his ex (snort snort) girlfriend and plenty of other girls would kick his (snort snort) for saying that! notice that hes too terrified to let you post his name.
Amazing, I think my IQ dropped ten points from reading such trash. lol.
Pig roast, anyone?
Kaleb, you rock. 🙂
It is guys like that make girls wonder why we put up with all of the crap that guys do. Thank you for taking the time to read this book and for doing so with an open mind. If more people were able to do this with any situation the world would be a little more peaceful.
Oh,
And I hope you are finding these books are as good as we all think they are. I’m not sure how you are able to stop after each chapter, more power to you. I know I wasn’t.
AHAHAHAHAH
Oh. My. God.
Thanks for the laugh, that was really delightful. I think my favorite part was “red” and “reding”
honestly, what has to be wrong with someone to write something like that?
Good for you for sticking to your guns, man! You’ve definitely got (oink)s. 😉
-Meredith
Sounds like this dude could learn a thing or two from Edward Cullen… Am I right??
Haha keep it up Kaleb whoo!
Um, for one…the guy should try reading a bit more often. The words that were not lost in translation were sadly misspelled. And for another, how did said pig boy find your website? Hmmm, me thinks he doth protest too much!
Keep up the fun blog. It has been a pleasure to read. Hopefully you do not become so obsessed (like other casual Twilight readers) that school and all other priorities do not get pushed to the side.
Stay focused. 🙂
Um, chya~
Carmen,have you even read his other blogs? Sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but he states quite clearly that he only reads like two chaps a week is because he’s staying focused on school.
*sigh* I know, i’m stupid for even commenting on it….*looks around, embarrased* Shouldn’t i have something better to do? Oh, heheh, i just realized that I am one of those obsessed, unfocused on reality fans! Should i get a shrink? *gets out the phone book*
*dial’s number from phone book*
“Um, Hi. Dr. Cullen? Could you pencil me in immediately? I think i need a reality check.”
*dial tone answers*
O_O
Yep. WAY too obsessed.
*hehe, the cullens must get REALLY good workouts….from running through my head all day long*
Am I high?
I should go sleep now. Staying up this late makes me so loopy……that means please forget all the above madness.
Sooooo…it’s early tomorrow, where’s the new blog???
*cracks myself up*
Wow, i’m a dork.
*minutes tick by*
Uh……..
*looks around, bewildered*
What was i going to do again?
…..
Oh yes! Sleep!
Yeah…sleep is good.
OM(SNORT)G!!! WT(SNORT) with that (SNORT)?!!! HAHAHAHAH……… ok I can’t stop laughing. You made my day, seriously. I literally laughed out loud.
I was wondering why he wasted so much of his precious time to write this to you if he really didn’t like the book?
just men solidarity?
Go kaleb!
greetings from Italy!
🙂 Kaleb, I think you should be a professional translator. I think you would get a lot of work 🙂
Ironically, he cares enought about Twilight to find you site, and send a message 🙂
Happy Reading
Kaleb as everyone else has said here, don’t listen to what he has to say. I think its great for you to reach out and read a book that has been read mainly by girls and that is clearly something that us girls like. Unfortunately for him, he now has just about the entire population of girls ready to kick his (snort oink)
“I’m a terrifying ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitch forks!”
Yeah, in this scenario, he would be the ogre, and all of us Twilighters would be the angry mob with the torches and pitchforks…only he wouldn’t be cool like Shrek, so we would actually have to murderlize him.
–and Ariana with post #48, that was hilarious!
This is the most comments you’ve gotten on a post!
lol you’re so hilarious! I love how you take such an ignorant persons jealousy, and turn it into a knee-slapper!
It’s great that you’re smart enough to not let all the negative comments get to you. Hoorah for Twilight Guy!
Oh, and it’s SO obvious that you certainly DO have a life! You tell us all about it! If you didn’t have a life, you’d be done with Twilight by now.
Good luck with Math Final!
What a flipping jerk…You are so awesome and your writing is hilarious(on your blog) and you are brave for actually reading these books publicly!!! I mean the are fantastic!!! So yeah he was a butt head and really illiterate…
Even though it was really mean, I couldn’t help but laugh. You are awesome for reading this series & not being insecure to show that you do.
ha. ha. ha. ha. that reminds me of one… two… seven… twenty… well, every guy except a select few in my school. it was funny the way you put it, though. no, it was hilarious.