A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

TwilightGuy Gets Reproachful Emails and On TV

So the word around town is that when Stephenie was in Frisco, Texas, yesterday, my name was called on the intercom to go backstage. Guess who wasn’t there? And guess who got an inbox full of reproachful emails from twilightguy.com readers who searched like mad for him in the building?


Guess who will be needing a new bottle of Tylenol soon from all the head-banging-against-the-wall he will be doing for not getting tickets before they sold out, thus missing out on meeting his literary idol in a once-in-a-lifetime chance?


No, I was not in Frisco. I apologize to all the people who thought I was going to be there: I would have given anything to make it, and had I known that Stephenie would call for me I would have stood at the door, ticketless, and then dashed in and said something like ‘BEHOLD! THE TWILIGHT GUY!’ whilst wearing my best cape and playing The Phantom Of The Opera music in the background. No one could throw me out after that.

The Phantom Of The Opera Is Here!

But good thing for me, Stephenie won’t be disappearing, and with my book coming out next year there’s a good chance we’ll end up attending some conferences or the BEA at some point– hopefully at least once at the same time. And good thing for Youtube– I got to see every second of the event! The first part is here if you care to watch it 😀 . (Added 3:42 May 11: This video is even better– she can’t even finish her introduction of Stephenie because of all the screaming 😀 )

To soothe my regret, some awesome emailer sent along this video. No, I wasn’t on TV. But some ultra-cool person mentioned me to the news while camping out for The Host in Utah. I’ve got it and one other cool clip about Stephenie from the video:

Sorry about the blurryness– it was so distorted, it made the girl in the middle clip look like she had no nose, so I decided she’d surely be happier very blurry than half-human 😀

Also, I can’t believe there is not a good quality Youtube of Stephenie on Glenn Beck yet. If anyone’s got one coming be sure to tell me. Because of my roommates moving for summer break, we cut the cable, and my entire television exposure is limited to the internet.



35 Responses

  1. The head-banging was a bad idea o_e

    You should have tried something safer 😀

    Like..virtual computer smashing games.

  2. I nearly died when I saw that picture of you as The Phantom. Is it really obvious how obssessed I am with that movie right now? Hehe

    So sorry you didn’t make it to the book signing. If it makes you feel better, I will NEVER make it, since I live in Portugal and I highly doubt my country is part of The Host Tour. xD

    I left a comment on the same video on YouTube but I’ll say it again:

    You’re famous! Kudos to YOU!

  3. If I were in your situation, I’m sure that I would bang my head against the wall as well.
    Now, listen Kaleb: I’m not sure you realize this, but people already have enough crushes on you without you comparing yourself to the Phantom!
    You may have done something very dangerous here… 🙂

  4. I would definitely be hitting myself right now if I had that chance you missed. Sorry dude. That seriously sucks.

  5. That is reproachful, but surely there will be more opportunities to see Steph.
    I wish she came to Portugal =/
    I’d give the world to see you act all Phantom-y.

  6. hahahaha

    Now see you going all Phantom of the Opera would probably make the day better (if possible in that situation) for everyone. hahaha

    Sorry that you missed the opportunity…maybe next time.

  7. well..you will at least have the chance to me Stephenie Meyer, cus Carla and i have something in comment – both of us live in another country then the Host tour will go too. *sigh*

    i live in sucky sweden. ugh. but i only read Twilight in english, cus i don’t like the swedish language…

    seriously, i would give ANYTHING to meet stephenie meyer..*sad eye*

  8. Okay, it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe you missed the signing.
    I ended up stting next to one of the probably 5 guys in the whole thing. It was really cool to talk to him about the books, and I told him about your site.

  9. I’m so sorry you missed the signing Kaleb! I’m sure you’ll get to meet Stephenie someday though. By the way, did I ever mention how amazing your photoshop skills are? 🙂

    OKAY… BellaAndEdward.net…

    Lol. Not exactly correct, but will do. It’s the thought that counts, right?

  10. Hey, gosh, dude, you should feel good about yourself just for the fact that in only a few weeks you now have Stephenie herself wanting to meet you! Stop banging your head! 😉

  11. That is a serious bummer to miss Stephenie like that! i’m sure you’ll get the chance again though.

    …now there just needs to be a video with you singing something from the phantom of the opera lol

  12. Hey! I completely agree with the other Rachel. You are so hilarious…and phantom-y. And hey, maybe you’ll get lucky and one of her few stops for Breaking Dawn will be near you. And consider yourself lucky – you have become positively famous for this…I would give anything to be like you!

  13. Ha! Yeah, the phantom idea would have been awesome. Definitely would have gotten you on tv, great youtube moment!

    I think that girl is much happier blurry than half-human, too…lol….half-human people might still recognize her and she’d live her in life in fear of that. Blurry, she can still be like, “hey! Did you see that blurry girl on twilightguy.com?! Yeah, that was me! AHHHH!”

  14. The book signing was pretty cool. I was just stammering on when I got to meet her though. My friend was trying to think of something profound and insightful to say. What she did say was “OH my GOD! I love your shoes!” *face palm*
    There were only about 5 guys there. One of them had a tail. It was… interesting.

  15. i loooooove this website and i go on it multiple times a day, even though it makes my internet conection reeaallly slow when i try to go on here. it is soooooo worth it to come on this site.

  16. I was not able to make the frisco signing either. I was doing my bridesmaid duties at a bridal lunch… Oh the joys of being a bridesmaid…
    Also I absolutely love the site! You are very witty and have a great sense of humor!
    Finally, congrats on your book. I cant wait to read it!
    Have a nice day and a wonderous time continuing your adventure in Twilight!

  17. *pats head* Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll many other opportunities to meet her, you crazy lucky guy! The fact that she sought you out should be enough to stop the head banging! But just in case *gives some tylenol*
    Next time, even if you have a ticket, you should still do the BEHOLD entrance because it’d be greatly amusing and everyone would know it was you despite the fact that you also would yell out THE TWILIGHT GUY!…
    Still, bummer. At least it’ll make meeting her even more exciting!

  18. YOU ARE SOO LUCKY!! how could you miss that chance!!?
    ok, ill stop making you feel bad, you probably already do!
    and I’m glad she is like one of your favorite authors now! You haven’t even finished Twilight yet!

  19. Yeah, the guy with the tail? That was me. XDD I’m an… interesting guy.

    There were more than 5 guys; Stephanie said to me that she wished they’d been counting, they may have broken the Kansas City record… >>;

  20. the guy with the tail is my friend, he’s freaking out that he got mentioned here. :)and that sucks that you weren’t there, she is amazing. but i bet you’ll get another chance

  21. Oh, gosh. I know how you feel, Kaleb! I was GOING to go, but I couldn’t. All Saturday, I was pouting because I KNEW Stephenie was within 2 hours from me…. I would die if I saw you with the Phantom costume… lol I might have to join you with the cape, though. I’ll get a cheap one from Six Flags, and you’ll look all awesome with your Phantom costume… I’ll look like a messed up version of Superman. We’ll work out the details in time for the next book signing. We’ll go to Canada if we have to! lol =]

  22. Shame. Shame. Shame.
    At least you tried. Perhaps it would be better if you finished the books first anyway… and met her when your own book was out.
    Ah, the many joys of being an author is meeting other authors (on a slightly more regular basis than obsessed readers).
    I can’t wait.

  23. I saw Stephenie on Glenn Beck and it seemed like she hardly got a word in lol She looked kinda scared. He was REALLY nice though. Except for the fact he wouldn’t shut up haha. I haven’t seen any video for it yet but when there is i’m sure you’ll find it first on the Twilight Lexicon 🙂 They rock

  24. Don’t sweat the screw-up. You still have the twilight babes all over you like mold on cheese. Hilarious pix–my computer desk was shaking and I couldn’t read for a moment, I was laughing so hard.

  25. Poor you. If only Stephenie came to Canada, I would fly anywhere to see her! And I’m going to be an author too, so maybe she wold become a fan of my books and want to meet me! wouldn’t that be awesome? I think so.


  26. *lol* You’re so funny! *_~
    I would shoot myself on the foot if I missed the chance to be in stage with Stephenie… well maybe not. But I would do something bad to myself.

    You’re lucky, man. You can always go to another signing… I think. I just CAN’T. Cuz I live in Paris. Sometimes, I would really really like to live in the USA.

    I’ve always liked the Phanthom of the Opera. Now, I love it.

  27. OME (oh my edward) i just love your sense of humor, Twilight Guy!!! It would have been really funny if you had gone in dressed as phantom. I now have the pic of you as phantom as my desktop. 🙂
    Love you! Love Stef!
    P.S. And yes, my real name is Bella. Just in case you were wondering.
    “Fall down agan, Bella?” “No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.”
    .( . . )
    …v v

  28. OME sucks to be you. oh well, next time, you should deffinatly to the grand entrance, that would be the funniest thing ever!!

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