A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

TwilightGuys Report: He Got Caught Reading Twilight

I’ve finally dug through more of the many wonderful guy stories, and I have a bunch of them lined up for this week! My friends over at TwilightTeez.com are giving away the Esme Fan Club T-Shirts to all the guys who get on this week!


” My wife is obsessed. There is no other word for it. And being that we are newlyweds, I feel that she *should* be obsessed! But with MARRIED LIFE and her HUSBAND, not with a book! I swear at night she murmurs out the name “Edward” in her sleep, and mentions how she wishes she could be more like Alice.

Finally, one night she went to bed earlier than I (for I work early and she does not), and I decided to see what all the commotion was about (and previously that morning, I had been screamed at for getting my glass of juice too close to her beloved book.. she even had the nerve to smack me for my “insensitivity” and asked me why I couldn’t be more like Edward). I picked up the well-worn hardback (so well-worn that I wondered what my meager glass of juice possibly could have done to it), and began reading. This was, perhaps, around midnight, maybe 1.

By the time she woke up the next morning (thank God it was Friday night when I began), I was just putting the book down, wondering how she could’ve possibly considered marrying me after reading about a man[vampire] like THAT. (I have officially been told that no mortal man could ever live up to Edward, but that I do an admirable job of trying, and that’s good enough for me).

“CAUGHT YOU!” she exclaimed. I of course, yelped with far too much femininity since she scared the pants off of me, and flung the book away as if it would help me look less guilty (even though on the inside, all I could think about was getting my hands on the next book).

Needless to say, we spent the entire rest of the day talking about Bella and Edward and this book and series that I have now come to love and own. That’s right, we bought me my own set, mostly because if I read it as much as she has read it (and I probably will), there will be nothing left of her books. Plus, she has already moaned and groaned over the fact that if I am reading them, she can’t.

She hates to say “I told you so,” but every time we start discussing the books or the movie, I receive from my wife a very Edward-like smirk. ”

Submitted by Zach

Zach gets an Esme fan club shirt from TwilightTeez.com! Thanks for the awesome story!



45 Responses

  1. If she hadn’t married him and instead kept up hopes of finding Edward, she would have lead a dreary life as a pigeon woman with no love life.

  2. thats really cute..i wish my boyfriend would read twilight..i know he would love it…

    anyway i was gonna ask why it takes you so freaking long to finish a chapter…i mean when i read these books it seriously took me like a day Twilight was soo good i couldnt put it down and i mean i understand you have a life and other stuff to do but you do like a chapter a week and its just nonsense

    love the sight
    carry on
    love Amy+

  3. Very funny article. Thank you for sharing and also for the male perspective. At TwilightMoms.com we have entire threads about what we missed in the 1st, 2nd, even 3rd time readin the book(s) and about the foreshadowing that Stephenie Meyer works into the story. Brilliant! Thanks again…it’s nice to hear the other chromosomes side!

  4. Now that’s what I’m talk’in about! Gotta love you Twilight guys.

    Now what the 2 of them need to do is go for a hike and find a meadow somewhere.

  5. This one has to be my favorite so far! xD Oh how I long to meet at least ONE twilight guy…

    However, I AM trying to create one xD But it’s not being any piece of cake, I tell you. They’re all so stubborn and macho… Gaah It drives me insane!

    Anyways, thank you for being the ultimate awesome guy, and for the truly hilarious stories and chapter reviews. Keep them coming!

  6. haha niiiiiiiiice.

    i gotta get brandon to read this. then maybe he’d at least ATTEMPT to be more of a gentleman…


    RIGHT. THAT seems likely.

  7. HAHA! I fricken love these guy stories. They make me smile. And Amy doesn’t understand that you have to put your own insight to each chapter. You cant just get carried away. Although i’m sure you want to. Haha. Thanks for the awesome story!

  8. hehe. That’s brilliant! You can be obsessed together now. I always love these TwilightGuys stories. Keep em comin Kaleb.

  9. I could totally see the screaming with femininity cause my boyfriend actually screams like that. Jokingly, yet all too real…

  10. This article had me laughing hysterically…my husband has got to read this! Thank you;)

  11. R. O. F. L.


    One of my guy friends is going to read the books on a dare, but he keeps putting it off. I don’t expect him to like them. *sigh* One of my other guy friends, on the other hand, loves them all.

  12. hahaha so cute!
    That guy must be a keeper if he is smart enough to understand his woman’s obsession with Edward AND tries to be like him. What a girl would do to get someone like that…

  13. hahaha that’s AWESOME!! I love it I love it…=]]

    Seriously, though, I agree with Amy. Why is it taking you so long to read the books?! You’re gonna hear about everything that happens through all of us…

  14. i make one of my friends guy friends read twilight, and now he wishes he was Edward (as all men should)

  15. Hahaha that was great, now all I can picture in my head is a guy screaming like a girl, jumping off the sofa with a book flying through the air.

  16. I love that story!
    I’m happy about how many men are starting to read Twilight and admit it.
    Maybe boys will be more like Edward from now on instead of the dumbasses they are sometimes.

  17. Hey guys give kaleb a break, he has a radio show and he has a book coming out, and he has to keep current in the Twilight news, not to mention matinence of the site. He has to orginize reading Twilight around all that, so I dont blame him if it takes a while.

  18. It may sound absurd to some people, but to us Twilight fans…this is our every day reality, right?

    😉 That guy has brains.

  19. That is soo great. im proud of you buddy! it may be something you dont wanna to but u should force another male friend to read it. that would be cool if u started a group of twilightguys!!!!!!

  20. Love it! It’s so sweet. Husband and wife. Hehe.

    This morning when I was on the bus to work, there was this girl and this guy sitting beside each other. And I was standing right next to them and I heard the girl talked about Twilight! She was talking about the movie to him and the main characters who were playing Edward and Bella! I felt a sudden urge to make a conversation with her and talk to her about the books and the movie!!! haha.

  21. Hahaha, that’s great. I know plenty of guys who’ve read Twilight/NM/Eclipse and they’ve loved it, but they just don’t want to admit it. 😛 Haha, there really is nothing to be ashamed of though– it really is a great book!!

    Kaleb!! Keep reading Twilight! It took me like, 3 hours to read it, I think. xD Keep reading– it just gets better and better!!

  22. Aww, this is MY husband! Hahaha, I really did scream bloody murder when he set down that damned glass of juice next to my nice hard-cover 🙁

  23. Chrissy i understand what you mean about the orange juice ordeal. I let my friend borrow my copy of twilight and she set my book on the edgy of desk and it almost fell and i screamed out at her half way around the class for her to catch it.. Luckily someone did and the my friend was like “Gosh these twilighters are crazy”

  24. I think it’s really funny how so many women are saying/wishing that they could find an Edward Cullen for themselves. And yet I meet many of these men almost every day while I’m at college. Trust me ladies, they’re out there!! But you just need to know where to look. lol. Good for you Zack for reading the series! I’m going to try (key word there is TRY) to introduce my younger brother (he’s 18) to the series this summer. I hope he falls in love with them and takes some notes from Edward. lol

  25. I finally got my husband to read them and he is now in eager anticipation for ‘Breaking Dawn.’ Thanks for this site, it is a very entertaining read and we all love to hear of your continuing Twilight exploration.

  26. Way to go Zach! Now my fiance has promised to read the books after we get married in june… he he he He’s also promised to take me to a midnight party for Breaking Dawn… hopefully i have a convert in the making 🙂 Thanks Kaleb for the great stories!

  27. Haha that was an awesome story, the same thing happened with my suitemate the other day, except she’s a girl uhh yeah, she came in the next day screaming I LOVE THIS BOOK

  28. i love this story, it makes me so happy! i love when he doesn’t know how she could consider marrying him after she read about edward. that was too adorable, i wish more guys read twilight, but then maybe it wouldn’t be so cute when guys read it if too many did.

  29. This is my favorite Twilight Guy Report so far! It’s hilarious. I love the “very Edward-like smirk” at the end.

    I finally convinced my boyfriend to read Twilight about two weeks ago, and he’s reading New Moon now. He said it was “good,” but I KNOW he loves them. The silly macho-man in him doesn’t want to admit that (although I believe it takes a true man to really appreciate the magic that Twilight is).

    I love these Twilight Guy Reports! Keep them coming!

  30. Nice story!! I love when guys admit they’re trying to be the living Edward Cullen!

  31. You know, I’ve actually met a guy who read the books. He admitted it to me, too! I was so shocked, because he seemed all, well, manlyish. And then he goes and says “Oh, I’ve read those books, too. They rock!”

    I was too shocked to come up with a reply so I only gaped. Gaped and gaped until he cleared his throat with obvious regret and turned away. I gaped until the bell buzzed. Of course he regretted telling me. Who would want an unstable girl that fell in love with a fictional character to gape at them for a whole class?

    My best friend and I talk about the books all the time; I suppose since she wasnt there and I missed Edward and had no one to talk with about him, I started doodling in my notebook: hands (the correct term would be claws of some sort) and an apple (a half-dead cat, perhaps?) with huge block letters on top, T W I L I G H T, and a box around the bunch. He must have seen me doing this and then assumed he could tell me he was a fan as well without me freaking out about it. Clearly, his assumed WRONG.

  32. haha!
    that’s hilarious and awesome!
    i LoVe these types of stories.
    i support Twilight Guys 100%!
    ya’ll are awesome! 😀

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