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OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE SOO IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING GJ |
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We last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole chance at fame and fortune.
I also highly doubt the validity of his claim that his girlfriend called him back.
I would offer him a t-shirt, but then I would need his address, and I’m certain he doesn’t want that being passed around. So in place of his t-shirt, count how many spelling mistakes he makes, comment the number you found, and I’ll randomly pick one person with the correct answer to get a free shirt from TwilightTeez.com in his place. How’s that?
ADDED MAY 31 — This contest closes June 3, 2008. You MUST enter through COMMENTS on this post. Thanks for all the email entries, but they will NOT count, and I cannot reply to the one’s I’ve gotten.
409 Responses
Hah, this is interesting.
I would count the spelling mistakes, but I’m a horrible speller. So, I’d end up making a fool of myself.
How do you put up with people like that? I’d get very annoyed if I were you.
What. A. Loser.
I hope he feels better, because he sure made ME feel better (laughing really DOES brighten up my day).
I’m glad he pointed out that Edward’s not real… that really took me (and the rest of the world) by surprise. I wouldn’t have figured it out, if it weren’t for him, so I owe him one.
It really brightens my outlook too, knowing that this bloke would probably bash a can of bent peaches on his forehead, if only to prove the world his manliness…
Including chat speak, I counted 15 mistakes. But I’m probably wrong.
Keep up the posting, I doubt I’m the only female who gets a kick out of reading your blog.
It’s hard to tell what counts as a spelling mistake and just plain stupidity. Like the fact that he spelled your name wrong, for one. Oh, and the fact that he can’t take the time to type out an entire word (like “O” instead of “Oh”). That being said I’m giving it a shot in the dark, with your name misspelled three times and words not typed out included, as 12. How’d I do?
Major douche bag
well excluding all the OMFGS and O’s (about 4/5 – making it 12/13) there are 8 – including the fact that he spelt your name with a C instead of a K three times. I think I’ll go with the unlucky number 13….and 12.
He’s right he shouldn’t read twilight. He needs to read a dictionary.
Ugh. I am disgusted to even be the same species as him.
You hear that? That is the sound of a million fans getting ready to go trample that moron into oblivion.
Wow, this guy is seriously pathetic. Did this guy even pass grammar school?! And that girl would have torn him to pieces if he’d have torn up her book. I’ve got 14 spelling mistakes and the whole thing is a grammar nightmare. I think my eyes may actually be bleeding. Come on Kaleb, just accidentally give us his address. Pretty please with sugar on top.
Kaleb you are awesome, he didn’t even get your name right. What a good laugh.
He is probably one of the biggest low life’s ever born. That whole email he sent you was a spelling mistake, has he graduated from primary school?
PWAHAHAHAH… with all the HEEHAAWWWW I suddenly remembered CAT AND DONKEY when they mixed their bodies in Shrek III LMAO!!!
Srsly… what the (heehawwww) with this (heehawwww)???
I decided to be extra super picky, so here’s my breakdown by type of spelling error:
yor=your
coud=could
bcause=because
anywher=anywhere
proll y=probably
wit=with
soo=so
sware=swear
o=oh
u=you (x2)
now=know
freakin=freaking
Basic Spelling Mistakes: 13
yd=extraneous nonsensical letters?
girls=girl’s
calebs=caleb’s
read=reads
Including misspellings due to grammar and stupidity: 17
caleb=Kaleb (x3)
Including misspellings due to not being able to get a name right (mistakes because he spelled it correctly at the end, so he knew it): 20
prolly=probably (separate from other proll y)
btw=slang
omfg=slang
cause=because (x2)
gf=girlfriend
Including slang and laziness: 26
And that’s my final answer. Twenty-six.
Kaleb I heart you.. I got to 18 spelling mistakes before I gave up. As an English major, it’s very frustrating to read such poor grammar.
*Love!!*
It was almost painful reading that…I am a grammar and spelling freak. haha
I don’t understand if he hates Twilight & this site so much, why does he “waste” his time writing to you? It doesn’t make much sense…
As for all of the mistakes, I am not sure what you consider a “spelling” mistake…
I counted fourteen, including the “bcause,” “yd,” “freakin,” “o,” and two “u.” If you count him spelling your name wrong, it’s seventeen. If you want to count the “BTW,” “OMFG,” and “GF” it’s twenty. Plus, he missed the hypen in “e-mail,” the apostrophe in “girl’s,” and made a tense error in the second to last sentence.
Yeah, I could go on…
I overanalyzed, I know, but I have nothing better to do. My mom’s an English teacher, so it’s a curse. :]
Anyway, happy reading Kaleb!
I think it’s 17. This is just plain stupidity. Proper spelling and grammar are quite easy considering we live in the computer age; every computer I’ve used has spell check.
Holy Crow, I need bleach from the spelling! >_<. But honestly, I think it’s rather funny how he spent so much time 1) reading your site and 2) to write you. I mean, if you really don’t like someone or their site don’t go back to it and don’t talk to them!
11 mistakes, 8, if you dont count the prolly, which he PROBABLY did on purpose (I left out the slang, comp lingo, and shortenings.)
By the way, only a LOSER talks about imaginary girlfriends to people online. What a dork, putting his nonexistent life out there and giving explanations too…Just proves it even more…How uncool.
coud – could
prolly – probably
bcause – because
btw – by the way
yd – yesterday
omfg – oh my [oink] god
caleb – Kaleb
anywher – anywhere
proll y – probably
cause – because
calebs – Kaleb’s
i – I (the one thing he DIDN’T capitalize)
caleb – Kaleb
prolly – probably
wit – with
soo – so
sware – swear
o – oh
u – you
now – know
gf – girlfriend
u – you
freakin – freaking
Wow, he finally got your name right.
The line between bad grammar and bad spelling was more than a little blurry, so I erred on the side of doubt.
That comes to 23
I doubt that his girlfriend called him back. If I had ever dated anyone with the grammatical skills of a two year old and somehow managed to escape the relationship, I most certainly wouldn’t be calling him back.
Anyways, I just wanted to say I love this site and I check it daily. Its nice to read a guy’s perspective on my current obsession and I can’t wait for your next update.
I got thirteen mistakes, not counting grammatical and shortenings (btw, gf etc.)
What an idiot.
Well i counted around 12 not counting words like btw, etc…
yeah this guy is such a loser that he has nothing better to do than writing this stupid thing…. what an idiot..
He is so…ENVIOUS!
i could read it in his tone… he just knows he cannot be the perfect guy so he takes it out on him.
His poor girlfriend! (unless he doesn’t have one because he is so anti-edward behavior)
Hmmm, what an ass! I counted 16. I didn’t include substitutes such as “u” for “you”, etc, as I use them myself. But there was no excuse for the rest.
Yes, what an ass. 😛 Except that’s not fair to donkies. 😉
I’m a bit stunned that he feels this kind of intense hatefulness. It’s bizarre in the extreme that he can feel such fury and loathing towards a book he’s never read and its fans. He’s seriously abusive, and I have to admit I’m a bit concerned about his girlfriend. She seems to need some help leaving him, and I hope she finds it.
Kaleb, I get a kick out of your site – keep up the great work! 🙂
Oh and I’ll go with Asta’s response for spelling mistakes; she was very thorough 🙂
I counted 12 including your name several times..The guys a JERK…I especially don’t like it when he says that Woman Author thing… how dare he put STEPH down…If he were here I would squish him like the FLEA brain that he is!!!
This is very entertaining, haha. I can’t believe this person. He’s just jealous of Kaleb’s awesomeness. Here are the spelling/grammar errors I found – all 27 of them o.o
“…so I come back to your site” – should be ‘came back’. Past tense, ja?
yor – your
coud – could
prolly – probably
bcause – because
girls- girl’s
btw – by the way
yd – yesterday?
omfg – hee haw heehawing hee
‘millions of fans” – couldn’t seem to make up his mind whether to use quotation marks or apostrophes…
caleb – Kaleb
anywher – anywhere
proll y – probably
calebs – Kaleb’s
i – uncapitilised
caleb – Kaleb
cause – because
prolly – probably
wit – with
soo – so
sware – swear
o – oh
u – you
now – know
gf – girlfriend
“… anybody who read Twilight” – should be ‘reads Twilight’
u – you
Plus endless structure errors.
I’m not English, so I’m gonna say too many to count them.
i couted around 20. excluding obvious slang like BTW.
i got 15 mistakes but thats only if u count GF as a mistake. and dont count ur name. he got those wrong too though…
god. some people are so retarded. I can think of 3 guys at my school who could have sent this though… isn’t that sad? I’d take Edward over all of them any day…
Kaleb, your site makes my life.
Sounds like someone is jealous of a fictional character. Perhaps he should return to the primary school they kicked him out from and beg the them to teach him how to spell.
I’m not bothering counting the mistakes, what’s the point? We all know he’s an imbecile.
I love your blog kaleb, keep up the good work =)
He made a LOT of mistakes!
I counted 20 altogether.
I believe I count 13, but I am not sure if I should count abbreviations. If so, then it is 15. The fact that he spelled your name two different ways was quite amusing.
Alright. Counting “1337-speak” and incorrect abbreviations (ex: “yd” for “yesterday”), as well as words that are technically spelled correctly, just in their wrong form (like a verb conjugated incorrectly, ex: “write” instead of “writes”), I’ve counted 19 errors. Throwing in the three times he misspells your name, that brings it up to 22.
And don’t worry. I think we all know who the “heehaw” is here.
Does this boy have a life? Can he even read? I am starting to believe he is jealous because Kaleb can read the book and he can’t. That or Edward envy!
Keep up the great work Kaleb, I love your blog!
Hey people, so I am sitting here tonight, replying to emails and watching Youtube, and I turn and suddenly there is all this light coming from my window.
Turns out, I went on answering mail all the way through Thursday night and into Friday morning without knowing. It is now 6:30 AM the next day. I just never went to bed.
It feels absolutely crazy. I mean, it seemed like just a second ago it was midnight.
But hopefully, some of you got some replies to your emails 😉 . Now I’m off for…breakfast. Then a nap
🙂
–K
Including chat-speak I got 19 mistakes.
So, if this guy hates the series so much:
1- Why does he keep coming back here?
2- Why does he care if /you/ are reading the series?
3- How does he know the correct spelling of Edward’s full name?
4- Why does he care enough to find specific people’s names on your site and call them out???
But really, he’s not very smart. For most girls, acting like Edward (protective, passionate, gentlemanly, etc) is a big plus for guys…
i got 8 but im probably wrong.
I got 21 mistakes…
Wow, dude needs to get a life. I mean really, does he not have anything better to do than blast Twilight? I’m agreeing with Melissa! He’s probably a closet Twilight Fan that is so afraid of being caught that he goes out of his way to blast it.
Alright, including all of his acronyms, the three times he misspelled your name, and err everything else (I also counted when he said “proll y *insert something else here” as one mistake)…I got:
19
He officially fails. =)
huh.
I’m confused as to why this guy even cares.
oh wait.
I got it.
He’s totally jealous.
hahah.
I got 20 mistakes…. wow this guy just makes me laugh every time you post his stuff
So I counted 9 spelling mistakes and 5 uses of abbrivations that shouldn’t be used (like U, O, YD, GF)
And I just want to say how amazed I am that people will waste so much of there life dumping on other people. So he doesn’t like Twilight get over it dude, leave the people alone who can see if for the awesome book it is. And obviously this guy has no life and needs to contact you in order to have interaction with other people.
Thanks for something so entertaining! 🙂
Julia
i got 10 without the “o”s and “u”s and “omfg”.
so 10
1. COME – should’ve been came
2. YOUR – you’re
3. YOR – your
4. COUD – could
5. PROLLY – probably
6. BCAUSE – because
7. BTW – by the way
8. GIRLS – girl’s
9. YD – yesterday?
10. caleb – Kaleb
11. anywher – anywhere
12. twilight – Twilight
13. proll – probably
14. y – why
15. cause – call
16. calebs – Kaleb’s
17. i – I
18. caleb – Kaleb
19. TO – so
20. PROLLY – probably
21. WIT – with
22. SOO – so
23. SWARE – swear
24. O – Oh
25. U – you
26. GF – girlfriend
27. U – you
28. FREAKIN – freaking
So my official count is 28 and that includes chat speak because since this is an email, he shouldn’t be writing in chat speak form. If he wants people to take him seriously, he should take the time to spell out the words. Also, some of his sentences didn’t really make any sense. Why bother using all the profanities? Why not intellectually articulate why people, or in his case, guys shouldn’t read Twilight. This guy needs a life. Pronto!
Haha! This was a really good laugh. I can’t believe he actually came back!
Now, it’s really hard to judge what you mean by spelling mistakes. First time I counted, I got 12, then the second time, I got 15. I think it depends on what you could. I decided to leave out grammar as it’s not technically spelling, and also abreviations as they are commonly used, and therefore allowable.
Poor guy, getting all these hate comments. I don’t know why he bothers writting the emails in the first place! 😛
wow… i got 18, but that’s counting punctuation errors such as apostrophes, as well as abbreviations such as AIM speak.
this guy is so funny i love making fun of people like him. he should know better than to go around a bunch of people obsessed with literature, when he can’t even spell your name right. tee hee
I counted 25. I didn’t count the confused quotation marks around ‘MILLIONS OF FANS”.
I count 16, if you include abbreviations like “o”, “u”, and “prolly”; 12 if you don’t.
Also, not that you need validation, but I think it’s very cool that you’re continuing to do this. 🙂 I’m enjoying reading your blog, and I like that you’re reading Twilight not only from a guy’s perspective, but also with a writer’s eye.
I goy 26
this guy is an idiot
& his girlfriend probably never called him back due to his stupidness made him unable to know how to pick up the phone
my interpretation:(use of mistakes is purpose-ful)
“call me bac i luw u”
“dude, last time I called you you needed to e-mail so you could learn how to press ‘talk’ on the phone”
“AHHHHHHHHHHH TOO MANI BIG WURDZ…AHHHHHHHHHHH”(goes into coma on account of his brain cant recieve more than 3 words at a time w/o overlading) =)
yay! hes in a coma!
whoops i wrote a typo^..I meant to say I GOT 26 words, not goy lol
Wow. I find it difficult to believe that this guy is in ernest. If he is and this is his usual behavior and speech pattern it is astounding that he made it to age 10 (and I’m not entirely sure he has) without someone simply losing control and becoming uncharacteristically violent towards him, thus resulting in his death. Then again, I highly doubt it would be worth the life imprisonment, the guy simply is not worth it.
Kaleb, I commend you on your ingenuity and creativity, which brings humor and a higher level of intelligence to a distasteful issue.
18?
Not exactly sure though.
As for the guy:
“Once a hehaw, always a hewhaw.”
That’s what I always say :]