A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Some Guys Will Never Learn (III)

So first all I want to say is that you suck.

Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

[unintelligible chicken scratches]

and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

[farmer’s tractor rolls by]

Is stephanie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

[cows moo in bored tones]

so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book […] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!

[farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]

D. (no last initial given)

Yes, he really did spell ‘Fail’ wrong at the end. It was like a cherry topping this delightful ice cream sundae.

Finally, a new hater other than GJ: and with nearly the same skills and vocabulary! He rambled on for quite a while more, but that’s the best-of. The most unfortunate thing is he sent it in from my other website: which means he actually spent time exploring my other pages… 😀

As usual, I would give him a shirt, but I don’t think he will give me his address (his email address was obviously fake as well, as all it was was a bunch more…chicken noises 😉 ). So, I will be giving his t-shirt to a randomly selected person who COMMENTS on this post with the number of SPELLING MISTAKES (not any of the swearing or grammar, just spelling mistakes). The t-shirt comes from TwilightTeez.com, and if you haven’t seen their site, go check out their cool stuff!

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476 Responses

  1. So, If this were happening in the real world and not cyberspace, I would choose Kaleb Nation over these boozoos anyday! I am sure most women would agree with me. Feministic rant:

    It is horrid males like these patronizing pigs that is the reason why I have willing choosen a single life for my whole teenage years. You expect females to dress a certain way and act below your intelligence level to boast your own ego. Well if you are going to impress me with your “superior male intelligence” then please actually possess some measure of brain activity. D. and GJ, start making your own sandwhiches and please read a piece of literature. Stop embarrasing yourselves on this site.

    Kaleb, please keep up the good work. Can’t wait to read your book and future posts! Much Love!

  2. Well, fRIst off, what the “cluck-cluck” does this person think? That bitching makes them special or something? They just went on about you thinking you’re so great because you blog about a book, and all they can do to prove themselves is bitch? Nice. I think they deserve an EPIC FAIL!

    Kaleb, I would be besties with you in a heartbeat (in a total not creepy way). People who slam you are on crack. I’d like to see them run two websites, and a youtube account and a BlogTV account and edit a book and write a new one and compose music to go along with the first book and go to college. I’m in college, and I think if I took anything else on I would explode from pure stress. You deserve my very lofty award of Ultimate Kudos. Keep on rockin’ 😉

  3. I have no idea if this is still going or not, but I caught nine; I caught ten if you count the misspelling of Stephenie Meyer’s name.
    Kaleb, you rock!

  4. I’m probably too late to enter the contest, but oh well. I will try anyway.

    So first of all, why does this site make people so pissed? I mean, it’s a GREAT site. People just need to shut up for once.

    Okay, so on to the contest.

    The “your” in the beginning could be counted as either a grammar or spelling mistake. [it’s supposed to be “you’re”]. Okay. So there are 7 spelling mistakes. And a random “2” in the third paragraph. [not counting the first line]

    There are probably too many grammar mistakes to possibly count. Idiot.

  5. I counted 8 SPELLING mistakes. I tried counting the grammar too, just for fun, and wound up with 36 (and that was being lenient). 😉 I’m a grammar nut–this pains my eyes. *shudders at the knowledge that this is the shortened version*

    🙂 Kaleb, I commend your amazing attitude towards this ridiculousness!

  6. I counted 7, but it could be that it’s 1:15am and I’m more asleep than awake.

    You know, it’s funny how they hate you yet know so much about you!

    I say whatever to them and YOU ROCK!

  7. Well, I got ten, including Stephenie’s name being spelt wrong. I’m actually really nervous now, I don’t want to leave a comment and find out I made spelling mistakes as well. To top it off, my fear has grown worse after the dreaded squiggly red line just appeared under Stephenie’s name.
    I hope I got it right: spelling and answer included.

  8. Hate mail is hilarious! They’re making themselves look so ignorant it’s not even funny. I wouldn’t bother counting mistakes, there’s probably too many coming from the peanut factory. Like they say small things please small minds. Really? Who takes the time to sit down a type a e-mail that makes everyone else laugh and completely misses the target to make others feel bad. Lehoo-Zeyher (loser people loser), these haters really have no friends, no life. Kaleb you’re my idol, you’re so right not letting them get to you, they’re not worth it.

  9. i got 10, 9 if you dont count the spelling on stephenie’s name 8 if you dont count the missing space in areal man

  10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! …..*ahem*….wow….

    I don’t need a shirt. That was enough of a treat. Thanks for sharing, Kaleb!
    And thanks GJ and D for being so entertaining!

  11. NINE!WOW I can’t believe he/she had the guts to send that! Someone needs to wash his/her mouth out with soap! (Sorry if my grammar’s incorrect [should he/she, his/her, be they, their?] I really should know that, we JUST learned it before spring break…pathetic I know). ANYWHO, YOU ROCK (as usual)! FAREWELL!

  12. ok,so that person has some issues.None of your haters can spell either.lol.
    well,i think its cool that a guy is reading the book. even if it is just for and experiment of whatever.

    good luck with your site. :]

  13. Wow this is probably a total of about 1,000, 011, considering the last “mAJOR FIAL.” I hope I wasn't cursed/diagnosed with the disease of overusing the term “FIAL!” -Sigh-

    Clucking out! :]

  14. There Were Too Many Mistakes For Me To Count&I Got Lazy Lol
    It's Obvious That These Guys Don't Even Bother Reading At All

  15. Ah well, you can't please everybody. There are even girls/women out there who hate the series… thinking that the story is lame, alongside the characters, etc. I've even read comments on Facebook groups saying how they hate how ignorant the fans of Twilight are because “it's not a real vampire story.” HAHAHAHA. Welllllll… it wasn't INTENDED to be a “real vampire story.” Hence, the typical vampiric traits of being allergic to garlic, etc. are deemed as mere legends. It is first and foremost, a supernatural love story. What I hate about these “haters” is how they go to the point of truly disrespecting the fans, calling us names and threatening us… ??? Like, SERIOUSLY? You're threatening me because of a BOOK(S)? Just pathetic. Whatever happened to freedom of wanting to read whatever you want to read? Whatever happened to having individuality? What happened to just reading out of simple pleasure? Seriously. DON'T tell me what to do.

    That's basically what that hater was doing. Actually, he was DEMANDING you to stop reading “this shit,” to “take down your website” because it's also shit, etc. So maybe I can DEMAND him to shove his d*ck up his ass, if it's even long enough to reach there? Sorry. I don't care about him hating on Twilight… he can hate all he wants. Like I said, you CAN'T please everybody. What I DON'T like is him disrespecting you like that. And I speak to all haters. Apparently, we're not allowed to have our own opinions… and if we don't agree to theirs, we'll be threatened to eat sh*t and die. LMAO. Sorry. That made me laugh. Pathetic.

    ANYWAYS. Keep up the great work, Kaleb. Unfortunately I JUST found out about you through EclipseMovieOrg. By the way, impressive resume for a 21-year-old. Not that there are no 21-year-olds that can create a similar one :p Welllll.. peace, love and Twilight!

  16. Ah well, you can't please everybody. There are even girls/women out there who hate the series… thinking that the story is lame, alongside the characters, etc. I've even read comments on Facebook groups saying how they hate how ignorant the fans of Twilight are because “it's not a real vampire story.” HAHAHAHA. Welllllll… it wasn't INTENDED to be a “real vampire story.” Hence, the typical vampiric traits of being allergic to garlic, etc. are deemed as mere legends. It is first and foremost, a supernatural love story. What I hate about these “haters” is how they go to the point of truly disrespecting the fans, calling us names and threatening us… ??? Like, SERIOUSLY? You're threatening me because of a BOOK(S)? Just pathetic. Whatever happened to freedom of wanting to read whatever you want to read? Whatever happened to having individuality? What happened to just reading out of simple pleasure? Seriously. DON'T tell me what to do.

    That's basically what that hater was doing. Actually, he was DEMANDING you to stop reading “this shit,” to “take down your website” because it's also shit, etc. So maybe I can DEMAND him to shove his d*ck up his ass, if it's even long enough to reach there? Sorry. I don't care about him hating on Twilight… he can hate all he wants. Like I said, you CAN'T please everybody. What I DON'T like is him disrespecting you like that. And I speak to all haters. Apparently, we're not allowed to have our own opinions… and if we don't agree to theirs, we'll be threatened to eat sh*t and die. LMAO. Sorry. That made me laugh. Pathetic.

    ANYWAYS. Keep up the great work, Kaleb. Unfortunately I JUST found out about you through EclipseMovieOrg. By the way, impressive resume for a 21-year-old. Not that there are no 21-year-olds that can create a similar one :p Welllll.. peace, love and Twilight!

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