Some Guys Will Never Learn (III)

476 Responses

1. Nine mistakes, I believe, including his misspelling of Stephenie’s name (which results in an epic fIALure)

2. And now my eyes are bleeding.

3. Eh.. I’m to lazy to count the mistakes, haha. But everyone is saying nine, so let’s go with that. ;o

   lol, don’t you love hate mail? Especially when it’s from people with a very limited vocabulary?

4. Someone should really tell D and GJ about spell check. I remember back in the day when I had to proof read everything.

   Since I can’t return the letter marked up with red ink, here is my corrected list for D:

   1) your – you’re
   2) thing – think
   3) insipre – aspire (I had a hard time with this one…did he spell it wrong, or simply use the wrong word?)
   4) hhe – he
   5) anbyody – hahahaha…that takes talent…
   6) stephanie – stephenie (as an Annah who often gets junk mail for Anna, I can relate)
   7) areal – a real
   8) frist – first
   9) fial – fail

5. I got 7…
   Though, its hard not to correct the grammar or spelling. I think the you would include “uva” in the “don’t correct the language” category.
   Oh well.
   Some people…

6. I counted 8 spelling errors including Stephenie’s name. I don’t think “uva” is a spelling mistake because I think it’s meant to be part of a swear word.

   WOW, I really can’t believe this guy! He’s just proven that you are so popular, that he had to check it out himself! Now, he’s jealous! Even worse, he knows who Edward is! That says a lot! I bet he’s some jealous boyfriend. Seriously though, I wonder if he was drunk when he wrote to you, because just this portion doesn’t make sense. Like, if he wants you to take him somewhat seriously, write a proper email and use spell check. that’s what it’s there for. Now, after making an even bigger fool of himself, he just made you even more famous, just by sending this silly email. Think about it, if he sent a formal, well-written email, you’d have nothing to poke fun at (maybe!)… wow, unbelievable.

7. It’s 7 spelling mistakes
   I think that someone needs to take a nap! LAME

8. i counted ten in all
   please pick me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

9. LOL. what a complete moron!

10. I found nine SPELLING errors although he had many more grammar errors.
    1. your should be you’re
    2. thing should be think
    3. hhe is, obviously, he
    4. anbyody should be anybody
    5. stephanie (<-GRR!) is Stephenie
    6. areal just needs the space
    7. becuase should be because
    8. frist is first
    9. fial should be fail but in the context of the sentence makes absolutely no sense. Failure maybe?
    This guy is a moron.
    Spell check, buddy, ever heard of it? These are like first grade vocabulary words.

11. 8 spelling mistakes

12. Kaleb–I found 8 spelling errors, but the grammar and other errors in this letter are equally disturbing. I am probably older than most readers of your site (I’m 33), but I love Twilight and your great site…you are so funny! I do worry about the young students today–if this is an example of what they teach in the schools, I am grateful to homeschool my own children even more! Keep up the good work!

13. 9, with Stephenie spelled wrong.

    Is this guy related to GJ? They both seem to have the same IQ….

14. Well, it really depends on how you count them….

    There could be 36 or 10 or 3 or 7…it depends on what you count, but those are the only four numbers that could be considered, so depending on what you would put as a “spelling mistake”, it is one of the above mentioned numbers.

    BTW: I think you are great Kaleb, and you are the one who convinced my guy friend to read Twilight, so I thank you 😀

    -Emma

15. nine mistakes, but i’m a bit too lazy to list them all out as clearly you’ve seen them all before this…

    teehee. 😀

16. i just spent $100 on a whole bunch of twilight teez and sweaters, so i dont really need more…..and i start school on monday, so i’ll leave grammer until then. sorry!! hehe
    good luck guys! 🙂

17. I wonder how many times he’s gotten dumped because his girlfriend found out what a true man ,like Edward, is 😀
    Oh an Debra (#39) haha that’s probably his version of a vampire book but judging by his writing, I wonder if he can even read it haha

    yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!
    good one haha :DD

18. Oh and I really want a shirt please ;D i’m counting about 20 spelling/grammar errors probably wrong though..

19. hi gys i’m gona post ninee spelng erors i’m a twilite reding guy pleze send me a shrt!

20. “So first all I want to say is that you suck.

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your(you’re) up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing(think) you are so cool. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva(of a?) better one than…

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire(aspire?) to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe(he) is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so(as) cool as you think …

    [farmer’s tractor rolls by]

    Is stephanie(STEPHENIE, this one bugs me, I also have a name noone can spell have some r-e-s–p-e-c-t) Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal(a (space) real) guy? Grow up or …

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist(first) place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book […] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL! (fail)

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)”

    there’s my corrections. I think this entire letter is a “major fial” matter of fact it may qualify as “epic FAIL”

21. I counted nine.

    I’m not sure why guys are so against reading a book about vampires and romance. So what? It’s not going to make you any less of a man if you pick one up and like it. Hahah.

22. Ok, I understand that he has a right to voice his opinion, but do it with dignity. And he’s the idiot for not being able to spell a simple word like ‘fail’, I mean, what is wrong with him?? My 5-year-old brother knows how to spell that word, for crying out loud!! And what is it with all the swearing?? It’s kinda sad, really.

    Oh, and you do NOT call Edward and idiot. I understand that he has a right to post his opinion but he will NOT insult the wonderful Edward Cullen!!If he doesn’t like Twilight, than he should find something productive to spend his time with instead of bashing real men who actually like the Twilight series. ‘Cause I know a lot of my boy calssmates love it as much as we do!!!!!!

23. 10. I found 10.

24. I’m going to pull a Liz (#183) by rewriting the whole thing, with corrected grammar – syntax (which will include all misuse of words, as well as lack of coherence and frequent use of a certain word, among other things), punctuation, and spelling – so that it’s cognitive. Then I’ll put up the number of mistakes. Yay… this should be fun! 😉

    So first all I want to say is that you suck.
    [Corrected version: “So, first, all I want to say is that you suck.” Yep, a comma between “so” and “first”, and another comma between “first” and “all”. In hindsight, I find this sentence particularly hilarious. If this was all he wanted to say, why did he continue on with this absolutely ridiculous monologic rubbish? TALLY OF MISTAKES – Punctuation: 2; General Stupidity: 5]

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why.

    [Okay, I was going to be lenient, but I’ve changed my mind. I can’t fix these sentences, since technically they’re correct, but I’ll attack his general language skills anyway. In his first sentence, he asks a question – and then says he knows the answer in his second sentence! I know several people who’ve done this before, and it drives me crazy every time. If you know the answer, why bother asking the question? *sigh* I’m also going to count his usage of expletives, since it shows his lack of decent vocabulary… poor guy. TALLY OF MISTAKES – General Stupidity: 6; Obscene Language: 1]

    Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool.

    [My brain just had a haemorrhage. Firstly, I don’t get the first part of this sentence: “Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s…”. WHAT?! I can’t correct it, since I don’t know what he means. He’s so incoherent…! Then, he uses the word “and” three times – foolish! He also manages to misspell the word “you’re”, which is not only a spelling error, but also a punctuation error, and misspells the word “think”. so, here is my attempted Corrected Version: “Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s. You’re up here and all you do is read a stupid book and think you are so cool.” TALLY OF MISTAKES – Obscene Language: 2; Spelling: 2; Punctuation: 1; Syntax: 2 (for the incoherence and the frequent use of “and”); General Stupidity: 20]

    Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    [Okay. He firstly forgets his commas between “well” and “I” and between “you” and “anybody”. There should be another comma between “book” and “and”, as well. Plus, he says, “…ONE (cluck-cluck) of a better ONE..” which once again doesn’t make sense. He obviously doesn’t read through his work. I’ll count repetition as syntax, shall I? His use of swear words is appalling – I changed it to “heck”. Corrected Version: “Well, I tell you, anybody can read a book, and one heck of a better than…” TALLY OF MISTAKES – Punctuation: 3; Syntax: 1; Obscene Language: 1; General Stupidity: 50)

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

    [farmer’s tractor rolls by]

    [Whew. What a mouthful. His main error in this passage is his lack of CAPITAL LETTERS at the beginning of sentences. We see this from the first 3 sentences, and the 5th sentence. I wonder if he went to 1st Grade? Plus, his sentence, “a total (bawk).” shouldn’t even be a sentence on it’s own, but should rather be joined to the previous sentence by a dash. As if that weren’t enough, there are four offensive words – let’s call them OW’s – in said passage, he managed to make the fatal error of not capitalising the “E” in “Edward”, he misspelt the words “he” and “anybody”, he left out the comma between “is” and “idiot” as well as the comma between “book” and “stupid”, and he used the word “so” instead of the word “as” in his sentence, “you are not so cool as you think..” (which should technically end in “you are”, as well..) I saved the best for last – he used the word “inspire” instead of “aspire”! Oh, my dainty socks! It is just too bawking hilarious, friends.. Corrected Version: “And give me a (bawk)ing break. Any guy like Edward is a (bawk) – a total (bawk). If you aspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like he is, idiot. Anybody can read a book, stupid, you are not as cool as you think you are…” TALLY OF MISTAKES: Punctuation: 8; Obscene Language: 4; Spelling: 2; Syntax: 3; General Stupidity: 100]

    Is stephanie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    [Wow. Did he really go on longer than this? Incredible. Let’s continue. First of all, he manages, like the moron he is, to spell Stephenie’s name wrong, excluding the fact that he fails to capitalise it. Another 3 OW’s make their appearance, and a random 2 appears out of thin air. In his clause, “Or what did your mom…” he makes another two errors. Firstly, if this sentence was to make sense AT ALL, he wouldn’t have included the “what” – so that’s a mark in the syntax book. Even so, his use of “what” means that he should have had a comma in between “or” and “what” as well as in between “what” and “did”… but he didn’t! *gasp* 😀 I don’t understand his use of the word “probably” in the middle of a sentence, either – that’s another syntax mark. Then – I present to you the funniest mistake. He asks, “did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you..?” *ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you… did his girlfriend or probably his mom make him what, exactly? Now, since we are advanced like that, we assume that he means Kaleb’s girlfriend or probably his mom made him READ THE BOOK. But does he say that, folks? Does he? Nope. Of course, to top it all off, he combines the words “a” and “real” to form a new word – “areal”! Hah. What I really want to know, though, is this: what did he threaten to do to you? Tell your mom? Pester you forever and ever? Oh, I do hope it’s the last one! I’d just love to edit all of his rubbish for entertainment purposes 😀 Corrected Version: Is Stephenie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)? Or did your girlfriend or your mom make you read the book and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be a real guy? Grow up or I’ll tell Mom!” TALLY OF MISTAKES: Spelling: 2; Punctuation: 3; Syntax: 4; Obscene Language: 3; General Stupidity: 5 000.]

    so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book […] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)

    [Hmm. It’s the last paragraph! Let’s see how many mistakes I can tally up in this one. “so” should be capitalised; there should be a comma between “so” and “like”, as well as between “promised” and “here”, and between “you” and “if”; new lines should be entered for every new number, which is a total of 3 syntax marks; there should be full stops between each number and each point, which is 3 punctuation points; there should be a capital letter at the beginning of each point, which is ANOTHER 3 punctuation points; there should be a semi-colon in between “site” from point 1 and the number 2, and there should be a comma between the “and” from point 2 and the number 3, which is ANOTHER 2 punctuation points; the words “because” and “first”, which I, for one, learned in 1st Grade, are misspelt, adding up to 2 spelling errors; there are 3 OW’s, and the “mAJOR fIAL” part is completely ridiculous, with a mark against syntax and a mark against spelling for the corruption of the word “fail”.
    Corrected Version: “So, like I promised, here are my directions for you, if you even care…
    1. Take your site;
    2. Shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (because that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the first place) and,
    3. Shut up and read a real vampire book. […] *mumbles on about failure, most probably regarding his own, in regards to trying to get his point across*

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)” TALLY OF MISTAKES: Spelling: 3; Punctuation: 12; Syntax: 4; Obscene Language: 3; General Stupidity: 10 000 000]

    So, here is the total amount of mistakes:

    SPELLING: 9
    PUNCTUATION: 29
    SYNTAX: 14
    OBSCENE LANGUAGE: 14
    GENERAL STUPIDITY: 10 005 181

    TOTAL (without General Stupidity): 66
    TOTAL (with General Stupidity): 10 005 247

    THE END! 🙂

25. Buahaha! Nine.

    The idiot.

    Real Men Read Twilight!!! >8D They’re smart enough to do so… reading Twilight, according to real girls that I’m quoting, brings guys to a “whole new level of cool”. xD

26. I counted 10 with Stephenie’s name spelled wrong. (she said in her rambling bio (Stephen+ie=me) dur) And I am a girl and a guy who reads Twilight gets maaaaajor points in my book.

    And I would loove a guy like Edward you stupid D person!

27. I counted eight spelling errors, one word that was spelled right but used incorrectly (“your” instead of “you’re”) and I’m pretty sure he meant “aspire” instead of “inspire”.
    So eight if you don’t count those two, ten if you do.
    He’s an idiot.

28. I found 11
    I say let’s eat the damn chicken…rooster.. thing >:D

29. I counted 9. but thay was just spelling. hope these dint bring you down, k. I love ’em, they are so funny! Why would guys notread twilight? Thats like, instant bf material

30. HAHA wow you really are awesome 🙂 i wish i could sit down and read everything you did. This is so funny… chicken scratches hehe and umm, why would you send him a shirt if he was being mean to you? i’d send him a cd with the chicken song on it! haha

31. ohh and i think there are 8 spelling errors 🙂

32. I believe he had nine(9) spelling mistakes.

    It is so good that you can just laugh this kind of idiotic negativity off. Obviously his IQ is equivalent to the number of swear words he knows. 🙂

    What a rotten egg…

33. OHK.
    i really want a t-shirt!!!
    and i counted 12.
    yup! twelve.

    very strong guess its twelve. VERY very haha.

34. i believe I got 8 spelling mistakes, including inspire, areal, and stephenie.

35. 9 mistakes!!!!!!!

    I can’t believe he said that… what a dummy can’t even spell!

36. Time to get out the bread crumbs and make some fried chicken.

37. I counted nine spelling errors, and two occasions in which he used the wrong word. (Inspire-Aspire;”So cool as”-As cool as). Before I started reading these books, I expected them to be complete and utter crap. I picked up my sister’s copy of Twilight out of curiosity and read the first chapter. Then something amazing happened….. I didn’t want to put it down. I couldn’t put it down. I am not gay, contrary to what many of my peers have said since I started taking the books to school. In truth, I talk to- and flirt with- more girls than I did before. These books are great, and I can honestly say that I haven’t been this attached to a series since the first three Harry Potter books. I think that what happened with Midnight Sun is a tragedy, and though I am not an author, I am an artist and I know how one’s mood influences one’s art. I love your site- though I’m a little jealous that I didn’t think of it first- and I think it’s great that they’re is someone out there to let people know that these aren’t just chick books. The way I see them is that there is just enough romance for the girls to gush over, yet just enough action/suspense to allow guys to read them without being gay.

    Thanks for being our voice,
    Patrick L.
    Fellow Twilight Guy

38. i counted 20. [including capitalization]

    but really, how can we know, because you took out the swears, and if this dude is as terrible at typing as i am, they will be misspelled, too. well, most of them will be, anyways.

    [woohoo! 3 sentences without a single error!]

39. Pingback: Recent Links Tagged With "moo" - JabberTags

40. Wow. Im only a kid, and I write better than these geeks. Oh wait, geeks know how to spell. I guess a more appropriate name for these guys is ‘COMPLETE MORON’. They need to go back to school, or the dark pit in (cluck) they came from.
    You can’t tell me you don’t agree with that.

    I counted nine spelling mistakes, by the way.

41. Eye tihnk tis muron iz U toatal wetard. du u agree with me.

42. (Correction.) Eye tihnk tis muron iz u toatal wetard. du you agree with me?

43. I counted 9. YOU ROCK KALEB!!!

44. Wow…
    This guy must have little man syndrome and a little wenus…

    Otherwise he might have a life….

    lame.

45. Man, I love this guy. Him and GJ, they are an awesome pair! Hopefully some more people like them (well, at least ones that can spell decently or have gramatical sense) can actually speak their mind! Thank you D, and GJ, for your glorious contributions to the epicness of being anti-anything!

    -Jasteno Daniels

46. I trully hope that that chicken will be eaten by the farmer. Merry Christmas, farmer!

47. Fourteen. Discluding Grammar.
    Amazing how people never learn, isn’t it?

48. My brain hurts from reading such stupidity. And that is not something that happens often.

    I found 8 actual spelling mistakes. 10 if you count thing (supposed to be think) and inspire (supposed to be aspire). As for grammar and other errors…I’m not even going to go there.

49. i found 10 spelling mistakes… ha ha ..i find it funny that some guys think that they are gonna find a girl with that attitude…lol…i will only date guys who read twilight! 🙂

50. GJ and D SUCK!!(in many different ways) There are more guys who love Twilight then who hate it. I am one who loves it. Dont like it, dont give a d***. (D and GJ Suck. Just had to say it)