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OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE SOO IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING GJ |
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We last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole chance at fame and fortune.
I also highly doubt the validity of his claim that his girlfriend called him back.
I would offer him a t-shirt, but then I would need his address, and I’m certain he doesn’t want that being passed around. So in place of his t-shirt, count how many spelling mistakes he makes, comment the number you found, and I’ll randomly pick one person with the correct answer to get a free shirt from TwilightTeez.com in his place. How’s that?
ADDED MAY 31 — This contest closes June 3, 2008. You MUST enter through COMMENTS on this post. Thanks for all the email entries, but they will NOT count, and I cannot reply to the one’s I’ve gotten.
409 Responses
lmao..thats hilarious..I had come up with about 12, I didnt know grammer was included, but after reading all the comments, they had some big numbers..so now, IM SO CONFUSED!
If it wasn’t already summer, I’d sic my English teacher on him. My guess is fifteen, not including shorthand like GF or YD.
Now that was just freaking hilarious. XD
At least this loser made me laugh by writing this stupid email.
Oh and by the way, I got to 9 spelling errors, excluding the shortforms.
COME ~ came
EMAIL ~ e-mail
YOR ~ your
COUD ~ could
PROLLY ~ probably
BCAUSE ~ because
BTW ~ by the way
GIRLS ~ girl’s
YD ~ yesterday
OMFG ~ oh my (hehaw) god
‘MILLIONS OF FANS” ~ either use ‘ or ”
you ~ your
caleb ~ Kaleb
anywher ~ anywhere
proll y ~ probably
calebs ~ Kaleb’s
i ~ I
caleb ~ Kaleb
CAUSE ~ because
PROLLY ~ probably
WIT ~ with
SOO ~ so
SWAR ~ swear
O ~ oh
U ~ you
NOW ~ know
GF ~ girlfriend
ANYBODY WHO READ ~ anybody who reads
U TOO ~ you, too
FREAKIN ~ freaking
I’m better than him, even though I’m from Germany!
I don’t believe his ex-girlfriend would want him back, because he is just so stupid. He needs a life so he wouldn’t be ‘wasting time’ trying to convince you that ‘Twilight’ is (hehaw). I bet he only ‘reads’ Playboy or something like that.
He’s the freak, not you. And he can’t even spell your name right. Why is he reading your site? This is a site for people who are interested in ‘Twilight.
Heehee, I counted 12 actual spelling mistakes… that’s too hysterical! xD Poor fellow, he does know that he’s doing nothing but make us burst out laughing, right? ^w^
Ok, so I basically just went to town on this, and counted every mistake I found. So, including all of the typos and netspeak, here’s what I found:
Coud – could
Prolly (x2)- probably
Bcause – because
BTW – by the way
Girls – girl’s
YD – yesterday
OMFG – oh my [bleep] God
You – your
Caleb (x2) – Kaleb
Anywher – anywhere
Proll y – probably
Calebs – Kaleb’s
Cause – because
Wit – with
Soo – So
Sware – swear
O – oh
U (x2) – you
Now – know
GF – girlfriend
Read – reads
Freakin – freaking
Grand Total: 25
On another note, this guy must be needing some serious approval if he’s willing to tell Kaleb about his (potentially fabricated) girlfriend. My guess is that he’s about 15. I cringe at the thought of anyone much older than that having writing skills this utterly dismal.
What a moron. I counted 16 mistakes, not counting ‘text speak’ and slang.
I got 23 mistakes including your name and other computer slang words.
Wow, what a (oink)tard
I counted 17, though I just woke up, so I probably missed a bunch. Oh well.
Somebody should make a video for this, like the “txt message breakup” video. You don’t get girls if you hate on twilight =P
HAHAHAHAHA.
He’s hilarious.
Well….I counted 21 and that includes things like ’cause’ and the misspelling of KALEB’s name. Really. He writes the blog for goodness’ sake!
You make my day Kaleb. I was laughing the entire time I read this, and then went back and read it again so I could laugh again. To be so negatively obsessive, there must be something wrong with GJ. I wonder if he is so obsessive about this because he is unsure of his masculinity?
Oh, I counted 11 strictly misspellings, nine more accepted text-slang and abbreviations (is yd acceptable for yesterday?), two apostrophe absences, and multiple capitalization errors, run-on sentences and absences of commas.
your-should be you’re
yor-should be your
coud-could
prolly-probablyx3
bcause-because
btw-by the way
girls- should be girl’s
yd- yesterday
omfg- oh my f****** god
caleb-kaleb (which i found funny, since your name is on the site)x3
anywher-anywhere
cause-because
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
o-oh
u-youx2
gf-girlfriend
read-reads
freakin-freaking
webslang- 7
misspellings-18
total-25
it is my full belief that if you want to insult someone, you have to do it intelligently. apparently, most people don’t seem to agree with that concept these days…
I got 12, with just the spelling errors. I thought about counting the grammar issues and chatspeak, too, but decided I didn’t have that kind of time.
*sigh*
What kind of moron does that?
found another one!
now-know
so….
webslang-7
misspellings-19
total, 26
Wow that guy can not spell at all. It’s horrible. I got 23, but I was never good at things like this.
I got 23 spelling mistakes, bad grammer and slang words.
I can’t believe this guy came back to the site to see if Kaleb had listened to his e-mail, why would anyone listen to an idiot like that?
21 mistakes. Of course, I usually get picky about punctuation. (Although I omitted the shorthand.)
Honestly, how do you stand for this? It’s enough of a reward to see how many people support you, I suppose.
Good luck with Twilight!
I counted fourteen, not counting words that weren’t completely spelled out.
(PS – I love this site, it’s nice to know that there are some guys out there reading Twilight!)
If I’m correct, there are 14 spelling mistakes.
By the way, I LOVE all your posts, you crack me up everyday Kaleb! keep up the good work 😀
wow, sounds like this guy is jealous that you have this amount of women fans looking at your site. geez, I wonder what his problem is? Well, at least he knows who Edward Cullen is and the book Twilight…ha ha. I’m glad you had the decency to cover up his vulgar comments…you are an Edward in my book Kaleb!
Including all chat speak and the fact he spelled your name several times with a C instead of a K, I counted 17 mistakes.
I think he’s just jealous, because he’s probably really ugly, and just about any girl who reads the book thinks that a fictional character is better than he is. Edward is a gentleman, and he can kick ass, all while being incredibly handsome and funny at the same time. He’s also about 10x smarter than our rude little piggy. In fact I think every male character in the whole Twilight series is probably 10x smarter than mr.piggy and judging by his ugly attitude, more handsome as well.
Just counting spelling mistakes (not grammar and not intentional abbreviations), I say 18.
Including chatspeak and every other retarded mistake, I counted 24 mistakes…am I right?
I counted 31, including all punctuation mistakes, grammatical errors, and even your name.
Last e-mail he sent, I was ready to fry me some bacon. This time I just want to kick this ass.
There is no grounds to sue over putting an e-mail on a blog, especially when the name is all but removed, and there is no way to trace the person.
And, GJ, my friend, Kaleb COULD, in fact, get a score more ladies than you. It’s a fact that women are repelled by stupidity and arrogance, two thing of which you reek.
(Still addressed to GJ) Attacking Kaleb in the first place was entirely out of line and to threaten him after is just pathetic.
Would you like me to dumb that down for you? You are an immature dumb-ass. Get over it.
Kaleb, you are awesome. You DO have a fan-base of thousands, if not more, girls (and guys who also applaud your bravery) and GJ is obviously just insecure about himself. If he can’t compare to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER (yes, GJ, we know Edward Cullen isn’t real. That’s why it’s called FICTION!) then he is just a sad, sad little boy.
My rant is over. Hope you enjoyed it.
Kristin
i’m pretty sure you can’t count the grammar mistakes, they are innumerable. somebody needs to teach him the proper structure of a sentence. i think he just needs a hug or a good swift kick in the…
haha wow, what a freak. he really has issues, that’s all i can say. but his little ran did serve one purpose – it brightened one of the crappiest days of my life. so thanks, dude, you just got a laugh out of me!
oh, and i counted like 14 mistakes i think? ha i lost count..
Oh and being friends with extreme feminists drives me to say: How dare you insult a woman’s creative ability in such a way. I’m referring to “No wonder a lady wrote it.” What is that supposed to mean? That women can’t write as well as men? Where to you get off saying something like that when you’re spelling and grammatical errors were so numerous, it was hard to understand your e-mail? Are you superior to Stephenie Meyer? I think not. Are you superior to any female authors? Hell no. Are you superior to most women in general? The consensus points due south (that means “no” if you couldn’t understand).
So, therefore you have absolutely NO right to attack the work of a woman who makes more money than you will EVER pay in a strip club.
I have to say my rant is officially over.
Kristin
P.S. Just for spelling mistakes, I counted 22.
17 typos, 3 acronyms, 2 misspellings of your name, and 1 grammar mistake. Total of 23. Wonder if this is more or less than the last one… Either way this was also highly amusing!
Okay, So I checked it in a little different way. Heres the key and once you see it, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out =)
KEY
(S)=Spelling error
(A)=Acronym
(!)=Punctuation mistake
(T?)=Possible typo (I think the “TO” in there should be “SO”)
(C)=Capitalization errors
And, the whole thing is in caps… Which really it is hard not to laugh at this because it doesn’t look that threatening or serious to people who actually know how to spell….
OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR(S) (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE! AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR(S) SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD(S) PROLLY(S) SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT (HAW)ING (NEIGH).
YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE(S) NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW(A) I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS(!) DESK YD(A) AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG(A) AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S. YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR ‘(!)MILLIONS OF FANS” (yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb(S) has anywher(S) near, most of twilight(C) guy fans are proll y(S) guys cause calebs(S) a (HEEHAW) and i(C) get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb(S) guy) TO(T?) JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY(S) BEG ME TO (HEEHAW) WIT(S) HER SO SHUT UP.
SOO(S) IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING SWARE(S) I WILL SUE YOU!!! O(S) AND SO U(S) NOW(S) MY GF(A) CALLED WANTING ME BACK BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ(S) TWILIGHT IS A FREAK. THAT MEANS U(S) TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY(S) FREAKIN(S) PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)!
So If I counted up all the spelling errors (S) correctly, it would be 21 (I could have mis-counted though).
I don’t really think acronyms could be considered spelling errors, and you said to count the spelling errors, so I’m not including the punctuation or the capitalization errors. We gotta focus on spelling I suppose =)
Oh, by the way, I think YD means yesterday.
But yeah, to round it all up, this guy is pretty stupid. I seriously doubt that his girlfriend (or “GF”) called him back. Thats pretty stupid to break up with some one just because they like a book.
So, a message to GJ: Good luck having a happy successful life.
Kaleb, you’re awesome. And though this will sound like I’m writing in a year book, don’t ever change! ^^
I tried to count the mistakes, but there were just too many. Plus the number of grammatical mistakes. Yeah, the number would be too high to keep track of. But you are better than that Kaleb! You rock all of my freaking socks as well as all of my freinds socks! However, that number would be no where near as high as the mistakes GJ made, or the number of socks Michael WElsh probably now owns. It would be pretty funny to see if he actually tries to sue you, though.
~Laura
I got a total of 15 spelling mistakes…..someone’s a genius!!
Spelling mistakes? I counted just sole spelling mistakes which included chat speak or improper word emphasis which totaled 18.
Grammar errors? I saw many which included tense misuse and punctuation deficits.
Mental issues? I don’t think it’s really possible to count that, but a therapist could help.
I counted 17, but honestly, it’s so messed up, it’s hard to tell. I neglected a few netspeak terms and your name, though. Wah.
I freaking love this. Keep doing what you’re doing, Kaleb, and thank you so much for putting this up. XD
1) “Coud” > “Could”
2) “Prolly” > “Probably”
3) [Grammar…Not sure if this counts, but I figured I’d note his mistake anyway] “Since” > “Because”
4) “Bcause” > “Because”
5) “Girls” > “Girl’s”
6) “YD” > “Yesterday” (I assume?)
7) [Grammar…again] “Since” > “Because”
8) “Anywher” > “Anywhere”
9) “Proll y” > “Probably”
10) “Calebs” > “Caleb’s”
11) “Prolly” > “Probably” (how many times does he need to misspell this word?)
12) “Wit” > “With”
13) “Soo” > “So”
14) “Sware” > “Swear”
15) “O” > “Oh,”
16) “U” > “You”
17) “GF” > “Girlfriend”
18) “U” > “You”
19) “Freakin” > “Freaking” or proper slang would be “Freakin'”
Doesn’t this idiot have spell check on his email?
Wow. Talk about butchering the english language. Ignoring netspeak terms I counted 19 spelling errors. However, the whole e-mail is unsound in many other ways like grammatically, and mentally. Although, incrediably entertaining. ^^
I counted 28 spelling misakes.
What a dillweed.
Goodness sakes! I didn’t know that it was possible to sound like such an idiot via e-mail twice in a row….He seriously needs an attitude adjustment. (and a mental health check)
I counted 19 spelling errors, though if it were gramatical errors there would be a few more.
Since you said ‘spelling errors’, thats all I’m going to count. So all the grammar is going overlooked
Yor = your
coud = could
prolly = probably
bcause = because
yd = ? yesterday?
Caleb = Kaleb
anywher = anywhere
proll y = probably
Caleb, again = Kaleb
prolly = probably
wit = with?
sware = swear
freakin = freaking
So, about 13 or so, unless you count these and the other miscellaneous errors..
U = you (x2)
O = Oh
OMFG
But, towards the end, he spelled Kaleb correctly, hmm.
Wow, what an idiot. You know, this guy just proves that–especially in this situation–it’s the SMART guys who decide to pick up Twilight.
At least he’s good for a laugh. And maybe a t-shirt.
Paragraph #1
“I COME BACK”—I came back…
“COUD”—Could
“PROLLY”—Probably…
Total so far: 3
Paragraph #2
“BCAUSE”—Because…
“BTW”—By the way…
“GIRLS”—Girl’s… It changes the whole meaning of the word!
“YD”—Yesterday…
“OMFG”—Oh my (HEEHAW)ing gosh…
“caleb”—Kaleb…
“anywher”—Anywhere…
“proll y”—Probably…
“calebs”—Kaleb’s…
“i”—I (yes, I consider this misspelled)…
“caleb”—KALEB! *sigh*…
“cause”—Because or ‘cause…
“CAUSE”—Because or ‘cause…
“PROLLY”—Probably…
“WIT”—With…
Total so far: 18
Paragraph #3 (In the which he figures out how to spell your name…)
“SOO”—So…
“SWARE”—Swear…
“O”—Oh…
“U”—You…
“NOW”—Know…
“GF”—Girlfriend…
“READ”—Reads
“U”—You…
“FREAKIN”—Freaking…
Total: 27 (28 if you include Twilight Guy in one word as a misspelling! Even more if you include terrible grammar!)
A bit CapsLock happy, isn’t he?
P.S.
+++++
“YOR”–Your (paragraph #1)
Welll I think there are 13 spelling errors, but I was never very good with that. Haha this guy’s emails make me laugh, he is such a loser, what girl would want to (HEEHAW) with him
What a jerk, well at least we get a good laugh out this caveman. you keep on writing we love your site.
There’s about 14 basic spelling mistakes and 17 mistakes total. Maybe in exchange for putting his message on here we could give him a copy of a online dictionary. ^_-
It’s complete gibberish. I’m glad you decided to post it, though 🙂
Now it really… ticks me off to see ignorant people who haven’t read the book, bash it. It’s not just a book. It’s.. a life story. It teaches you these things you never knew about. This just goes to show that the gene pool is…not improving. Yet you, responding so intelligently, is solid proof that there are some guys using their noggins. =) Keep on posting, because I love to look at your stuff.
I got 9.
Kaleb you are absolutely hilarious! I love how you turn this idiotic situation into a joke 🙂
You need a wall of shame, like mugglenet, if you keep getting these.
Wow. I’m surprised you actaully were able to decipher his heehaw-y rant. I honestly didn’t even try to interpret what he was saying, I did my best and I found 28. Anywho, it seems like somebody has jealousy problems with a fictional character…and that’s just sad. Don’t let these (teehee) heehaws get to your head, you are awesome, and HILARIOUS!!!! Keep up the good work, everytime you update you totally make my day!
I hate dumb people haha. He deserves being posted and made fun of for being so ignorant. And if he really thinks that then why doesn’t he go ahead and stop coming to the site. Because that would make sense.
Anyway I’m pretty sure I counted 13 mistakes counting a few grammar mistakes. I think I missed some though.