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OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE SOO IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING GJ |
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We last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole chance at fame and fortune.
I also highly doubt the validity of his claim that his girlfriend called him back.
I would offer him a t-shirt, but then I would need his address, and I’m certain he doesn’t want that being passed around. So in place of his t-shirt, count how many spelling mistakes he makes, comment the number you found, and I’ll randomly pick one person with the correct answer to get a free shirt from TwilightTeez.com in his place. How’s that?
ADDED MAY 31 — This contest closes June 3, 2008. You MUST enter through COMMENTS on this post. Thanks for all the email entries, but they will NOT count, and I cannot reply to the one’s I’ve gotten.
409 Responses
How much do you want to bet that his parents beat him and locked him in dark rooms as a child? Honestly, I bet he never had a girlfriend to begin with.
I counted 20 spelling errors, including weird abbreviations and slang (prolly, gf, yd, etc.). I counted three other errors (punctuation and capitalization). Good luck deciding which of us actually has the right answer you’re looking for. 😀
The guy’s a total jerk, but very entertaining to read. Thanks for sharing Kaleb, that gave me a good laugh.
What an idiot. Some people need to get lives. If he’s so against Twilight and those who read it then why is he wasting his time sending you those messages, Kaleb? I wouldn’t be surprised if he secretly reads Twilight and just doesn’t want the rest of the world to know. lol. He needs professional help (not because of his Twilight addiction because then we’d all be in trouble, but because of his need for attention and his inability to at least attempt to spell correctly when he’s attempting to insult someone).
Here are the mistakes I found, though I could be wrong on some of them because I’m tired as all get out right now (lol):
1. Okay (even though I tend to spell it the same way it is actually not spelled that way) = OK.
2. YOR = Your
3. COUD = Could
4. PROLLY = Probably
5. BCAUSE = Because
6. YD = I’m guessing this is suppose to be Yesterday though I’ve never seen anyone abbreviate it like that before.
7. Caleb = I’m fairly certain your name is spelled with a K.
8. anywher = Anywhere
9. proll = Probably
10. y = Why
11. Calebs = Again…not a K in sight.
12. i = Anyone with any sense of grammar should know that an I alone should be upper case. Sure people don’t always follow the rules of grammar on the net, but you should if you’re in the process of ridiculing someone by writing a very nasty, little letter to them.
13. Caleb = Yet again. Do I need to explain?
14. PROLLY = Probably
15. WIT = With
16. SOO = So
17. SWARE = Swear
18. O = Oh
19. U = You
20. NOW = Know
21. GF = Girlfriend. This is not a technical misspelling considering it’s internet lingo, but just thought I’d point it out anyways.
22. READ = Should be Reads in the sentence, “BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS A FREAK.”
23. U = You
24. FREAKIN = Freaking
This was fun correcting his mistakes. Perhaps someone should email him with all the corrections. 😀 I bet that’ll make him feel even more like a jackass.
Guys like GJ make girls want a guy like Edward even more. Unfortunately for us, most guys need to actually learn to read something longer than a sports article before they can read an actual book.
Kaleb, are you sure you can’t pretend to send him an anit-twilight tee shirt and “accidentally” post the address?
Wow, someone has a bad temper! I think his spelling is just sad, I counted 27 mistakes though. Am I right . . or even close?? I’m usually bad at spelling anyways, so if I’m way off you’ll know why!
I needed to read this thing like three times before I could even understand what he was trying to say. I mean what kind of idiot bashes the awesomest twilightguy/book/author/fictional character ever? Due to my lack of spelling skills i’m not even going to try to count his errors, but i’d just like to point out that my eight year old sister can spell better than him and she’s in second grade. I feel sorry for all the unforntunate girls who’ve had the displeasure of meeting GJ and his twilight hating, edward bashing, rudeness twoards kaleb, bad spelling self!
keep bloging kaleb we love you!! *jordin*
1. coud
2. prolly
3. bcause
4. btw
5. yd (?)
6. omfg
7. ‘” (unnecessary)
8. celeb
9. anywher
10. proll y
11. calebs
12. caleb
13. cause
14. prolly
15. wit
16. soo
17. sware
18. o
19. u
20. now
21. gf
22. u
23. freakin
And don’t even get me started with punctuation.
Kaleb… this guy is a douche. I love how you continually mock him.
Keep up the good work! 🙂
Yeah, I counted 15 mistakes. Wow, that was so painful, my eyes began to beg in protest as I read. Someone should ask this guy why he has checks out a Twilight related site, seeing as he hates it so much.
I counted like 17 but I’m prolly (hahah probably) wrong
Heh. That dude needs to get a life.
It’s hard to believe that he had a girlfriend in the first place.
As for the spelling mistakes, I’m not going to even bother counting them. 😉 There are far too many. And there are more than just spelling mistakes, too.
Wow, this guy really needs to relax. I mean if he is getting this worked up over a book (a great book mind you, I’m afraid to know what other everday things upsets him like this,lol.
Anyway, on to more important thing, I counted roughly 20 mistakes in this.
Geez, he should be more angry at his spelling then at a book,lol.
I found 15 errors not including grammatical errors, extra apotheoses (I hope I spelled that right), and some slang that my literature teacher uses…
that guy needs a life…seriously. Maybe he’d like The Host better. I’m sure he’d just love Kyle…
I counted 27 spelling mistakes (3 of those being your name).
I also tried to count all the punctuation and capitalization errors, but I quickly lost count (seeing as the whole thing was in “caps lock”.)
It seems our GJ is not the brightest crayon in the box.
Don’t let him get to you. If it makes you feel any better, he “prolly” can’t heeehawing understand any of the words you say. Idiots don’t have very high vocabularies, you see.
I love you, and don’t stop reading!
bahaha. thats funny. he’s just jealous. haha.
and i am guessing 19 misspellings. but i really don’t know. haha.
Obviously this guy has the ego problems. I can see him as one of those movie portrayed football jocks that is too worried about there image to actually think for a moment.
So go Kaleb for not being an egotistical “GJ”
Wow is this guy a jerk. I just don’t understand the people that go out of their way to tear down books or movies or whatever. If you hate it so much, stop wasting your time going on fansites and harassing the fans! Jeez.
Anyway here’s how I broke up the spelling mistakes:
I counted 12 general mistakes not including any of the slang or causal shortenings of words.
coud-could
bcause-because
anywher-anywhere
proll y-probably (it’s sad he couldn’t even spell the abbreviated slang right)
caleb(x3 including the calebs)
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
now-know
freakin-freaking
Then 11 slang and shortened words. This includes using:
prolly (x2)
cause (x2)
yd (which to my best guess is ‘yesterday’)
btw
omfg
o
u (x2)
gf
And finally I’m going to throw in 5 spelling errors due to bad grammer. So 2 for forgotten apostrophes (girl’s and Caleb’s), no hypen in email, incorrect tense (read=reads), and writing TwilightGuy as one word.
So that’s a grand total of 28 including all the errors.
Some guys will never learn…As my sister would say he’s a few fries short of a happy meal 😀
I counted 28 spelling mistakes.
I laughed so hard when I read this. What a complete and total moron. It must be tiresome being subjected to this kind of idiocy.
Including “text talk,” capitalization errors, problems with punctuation, spelling your name wrong, using different quotations (‘ and “) I found 25.
I found another one: so 26.
That was quite entertaining! He turned from a pig to a donkey *laughs*.
Well just strictly counting spelling mistakes I got 20. Haha it was worth a try!
i think i seriously have a crush on the twilight guy 😀
Oh and maybe…*He shud uze speel chick nest thyme* haha!
21, I believe. But if you count GRAMMAR mistakes, it is many, many, many more. I wonder if he realizes just how much girls love Twilight. If he acted like he actually was the least bit interested in the series, the guy would most likely get his first girlfriend. 😀
I count 23 spelling mistakes, not counting any words twice because there were two errors in it.
I think it should be rounded up to 24, because he said he could “get” more girls than you. Girls are not to be “gotten”.
And why don’t we add on another mistake, because he mispelled your name two different ways – “caleb,” and “idiot.”
Adding those on, I think there should be 25 mistakes.
You’re an awesome guy, Kaleb. Don’t ever let this idiot get to you. I’m glad that you posted this horrible e-mail, because look at how many people support you: I am number 117. That should show our GJ that he’s in the minority.
Correction – I’m number 126. People even commented in the time I took to type my comment!
I can`t stop laughing. This guy is a looser.
He doesn`t even know how to write. You don`t listen to him.
I`m really proud of you and this web site. The fact that you are not afraid to tell the world you are reading Twilight is amazing??
Is he going to sue you?? What a moron.
I found 20. I counted abbreviations such as OMFG and GF because they are not proper English.
1. Prolly
2. Bcause
3. BTW
4. YD
5. OMFG
6. Caleb
7. anywher
8. proll y
9. cause (needs a ‘ before it)
10. caleb
11. prolly (again)
12. wit
13. soo
14. sware
15. o
16. u
17. GF
18. Real (need an s)
19. V
20. freakin (needs ‘ after it)
I counted 23.
What a Idiot. He seems like a jerk and I don’t know why any girl would like someone like that. I HIGHLY doubt that his girlfriend called him. I hate guys like him.
I counted 17 including the mispellings of your name. I didn’t factor out chatspeak.
What an idiot, I really doubt that he has a girlfriend either. No girl would be that stupid, especially if she’s read Twilight =)
Is this guy being serious or what? ‘Cuse if he is he’s an idiot*. Really. I don’t know how he has a girlfriend.
Yeah, anyway, forget him. He’s a closed-minded teenage boy with a hormonal imbalance.
He is starting to get on my nerves though…GO KALEB!!!
*Just for info: Idiot- a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.
I found 27 mistakes.
Wow, this guy is an idiot!
I found 23. That guy is really unbelievable.
Hey Kaleb!
I counted 18 spelling mistakes…
1. Prolly
2. Bcause
3. Girls
4. YD
5. Caleb
6. proll y
7. cause
8. calebs
9. caleb
10. wit
11. soo
12. sware
13. o
14. U
15. Now
16. Read
17. U
18. Freakin
well, i think i may have lost some brain cells reading your post….but counting the errors did make me feel better. 😀
~jess
omg!!!!!!!!!!! kaleb, why the hell would u want give that peice of **** a t-shirt? how can you be soooo calm?u dont care wat he says, every 1 admires u, so keep reading!! u have my best wishes! good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) yor
2) coud
3) prolly
4) bcause
5) btw
6) girls (instead of girl’s)
7) yd
8) omfg
9) caleb
10) anywher
11) proll y
12) calebs
13) i
14) caleb
15) prolly
16) wit
17) soo
18) sware
19) o
20) u
21) now (instead of know)
22) gf
23) u
24) freakin
Okay, so I had an assignment to critique an incorrect piece of writing on the internet so thank you Kaleb for posting this, my english homework is done! That’s everything I counted and that’s including the netspeak so even if I don’t win its okay lol and I’m sure his ex wouldn’t have called him, i really hope some girl he wants rejects him and he learns he’s not all that great! I hate guys with big egos! Keep posting Kaleb I love your website! 🙂
i found 18 mispelled words in this pitiful letter. I just think it’s so funny that this guy is letting something like this get to him. can you say anger management? lmao, some guys WILL NEVER learn,
Wow..What a jerk. I bet he’s a closet Twilight fan and terribly ashamed of it because some other jerk called him out on it. I personally think more guys need to read Twilight. I finally convinced one of my guy friends to read it and he loves it.
Anyways, I found nine spelling errors, six ‘netspeak’ abbreviations that shouldn’t have been used, some of which should probably count as spelling errors, one sexist remark that makes me want to castrate this *heehaw*, and you should probably count the whole message as a huge grammatical error because it was in all caps.
Did I get it right?
xo
Helen
Wow. It’s people like him who make me lose faith in the human race. Oh, and you’ve got to love how he says:
YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT
He calls guys names for picking it up- not reading it, just picking it up- and yet he does the same thing.
Hypocrisy much? *head desk*
Any guy that reads Twilight rocks and people like this jerk are just ignorant fools who really need to find better ways to spend their time.
I got 30 with chat speak and 26 without.
Rawr! I’m probably wrong but it’s worth a shot right? Anyways, he just admitted he opened Twilight and read some. Why would he have opened it if he wasn’t curious? Uh huh. My point exactly. He’s totally a closet Twilighter.
So he thinks that people who read twilight are freaks and I’m guessing that his girlfriend read it. I’m pretty sure that almost every girl has read twilight which means that he’s never going to get a girlfriend since he thinks we’re all freaks.
spelling mistakes:
1. yor
2. coud
3. prolly
4. bcause
5. btw
7. yd
8. omfg
10. anywher
11. proll y (again)
12. to (i think it should be ‘so’?)
13. cause
14. prolly (again)
15. wit
16. soo
17. sware
18. o
19. u
20. now (should it be ‘know’?)
21. gf
22. u (again)
23. freakin
grammar mistakes:
1. girls (missing an apostrophe)
2. ‘millions of fans” (single quotation in the beginning and double at the end)
not to mention he spelled your name wrong 3 times.
and he said that Edward is stupid!!
If this guy refuses to date any girl who reads Twilight then he’s gonna have a very hard time finding a date. Practically every girl I know is in love with the book.
…his loss
Wow… Just wow… Can I rewrite this entire paragraph??? It has my analytical notes included…
“Okay idiot, so I came (past tense!) back to your site to see if you’ve learned anything or listened, (comma!) but (heehaw) your (heehaw) is still here! And you put my (heehaw)ing e-mail (hyphen) on your site!!! You know I could (spelling!) probably (slang-ish?) sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up, idiot (haw)ing (neigh).
You must be a (heehaw) or something, (comma!) because no guy would pick up this (snort)ing (heehaw). (Run on sentence, needs a period, not a comma!) By the way (Please don’t use acronyms when typing an e-mail, this is not a chat message.) I saw it on some girl’s (possessive) desk yesterday (again with the acronyms!) and so I picked it up and just opened it, and there was some (neigh) about Edward and, like, (commas around the word “like” makes it more grammatically correct) his super hot face and other crap. I went Oh my (bleep)ing (Lord’s name in vain) (AGAIN with the acronyms! And so much swearing connotation…) and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid and no wonder a lady wrote it since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a (heehaw)ing moron with no (heehaw)s. You go tell all your “(quotations, not apostrophe) millions of fans” (Yeah (capitalize, please, this is a complete sentence, or would be if it was grammatically correct.) right to (name removed), (comma!) like (I’m not sure what he’s saying here… “your Kaleb”? “You, Kaleb”? Either way… it’s wrong, I’m counting it as bad spelling.) your Kaleb (name misspelled) has anywhere (misspelled) near. (That’s the end of a sentence. It needs a period.) Most (capitalize) (no “of”) twilight guy fans are probably (slang-ish? AND misspelled at that) guys ‘cause (needs an apostrophe when you shorten the word) Kaleb’s (again, misspelled name AND no apostrophe for the contraction of “Kaleb is”) a (heehaw) and I (capitalization of a proper noun, though I don’t know if we should call him “proper” per se…) get more girls than this (heehaw) Kaleb (misspelled name) guy.) So (To? What?) just go on dreaming ‘cause (again, shortening the word needs an apostrophe) there is no such thing as Edward (heehaw)ing Cullen! And that (name removed) girl would probably (again, slang-ish?) beg me to (heehaw) with (misspelling) her, (comma) so shut up.
So (misspelling) if you put this up on your site, (comma) I (heehaw)ing swear (misspelling) I will sue you!!! Oh (acronym) and so you (acronym) know (misspelling), (comma) my girlfriend (acronyms!) called, (comma) wanting me back, (either period or comma) but I said (haw) because now I know anybody who reads (misspelling) Twilight is a freak. That means you (acronym!) too, (comma) Kaleb (heehaw)ing Twilight Guy (two words AND capitalized) freaking punk(haw) (heehaw)!”
Like I already said… Wow…
Eventually I came up with a total of:
3 misspellings of Kaleb’s name
24 grammatical errors
3 slang terms that should not be used
11 spelling errors AND
7 acronyms that should not be used in an e-mail.
This gives us a grand total of 48 errors from our dear friend, Mr. GJ, who should not be wasting his pathetic time writing horrible e-mails about a topic that people love. We don’t go find something he’s a fan of and mock it, now do we?
Thanks Kaleb! We love you!
oops sorry in my post above i forgot to change the numbers. so thats actually 21 spelling mistakes.
i am really thimpressed with this guys will-power. he is very bothered by this novel and e impact it has. it’s okay buddy. you can cry if you want to. keep on trouping and developing an even unhealthier obsession than us twilighters. High Five GJ!!!! (that was complete sarcasm by the way ;D )
i counted about 16 mistakes. i didnt focus on the punctuation or all of the ‘U’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘O’ instead of ‘oh’ or ‘WTF.’
if he keeps sending letters PLEASE post them. they make me laugh!
~S~
~S~
Hmmm. Well, it would be easier to re-write his whole paragraph. I might not get every detail correct because I’m a sophomore in high school, so I still have much to learn. But hey, I’ll try.
So, here goes!
Hello again, Kaleb.
I came back to your site to see if you’d learned anything or listened, but you did not. The site was still here, and you had posted my e-mail! You know, I could probably sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up.
You must be an idiot or something, because no guy would pick up this book. By the way, I saw the book on some girl’s desk yesterday. I picked it up and opened it to a random page, and written there was a description of Edward and his extremely attractive features, along with other claims I did not believe. I thought to myself, “Oh my freaking goodness!” and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid. No wonder a lady wrote it, since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a moron with no masculinity [how does that support that a lady wrote it??]. Go tell all of your “millions of fans”—yeah, right. Like you, Kaleb, have anywhere near that amount of fangirls. Most of the Twilight Guy’s fans are probably guys, because you are a [swear], and I’m going to not make sense right here, claiming that I have more fangirls than you, which doesn‘t support my argument at all— to keep dreaming because Edward Cullen does not exist in real life! [This next line also does not make sense or support his argument at all, so it has been omitted.]
If you post this on your blog, I swear I will sue you! Just so you know, my girlfriend called me and wanted to get back together. I declined because I now know that anyone who reads Twilight is a freak, and that includes you, Kaleb, the Twilight Guy.
GJ
That’s a bit better. 😀
While I was looking up whether “OK” or “Okay” is correct, I came across this interesting tidbit I thought I’d share on dictionary.com, under an entry for “OK”:
“During the 1830s there was a humoristic fashion in Boston newspapers to reduce a phrase to initials and supply an explanation in parentheses. Sometimes the abbreviations were misspelled to add to the humor. OK was used in March 1839 as an abbreviation for all correct, the joke being that neither the O nor the K was correct. Originally spelled with periods, this term outlived most similar abbreviations owing to its use in President Martin Van Buren’s 1840 campaign for reelection. Because he was born in Kinderhook, New York, Van Buren was nicknamed Old Kinderhook, and the abbreviation proved eminently suitable for political slogans. That same year, an editorial referring to the receipt of a pin with the slogan O.K. had this comment: “frightful letters … significant of the birth-place of Martin Van Buren, old Kinderhook, as also the rallying word of the Democracy of the late election, ‘all correct’ …. Those who wear them should bear in mind that it will require their most strenuous exertions … to make all things O.K.””
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/okay
So I hope that now the spelling and grammar mistakes in GJ’s letter are “OK.” 😀 Too bad his content never will be. Though one day, I bet his curiousity will get the best of him and he’ll crack and read the books. If he doesn’t though, well, his loss! He’ll have to learn what girls fall for another way.
I suppose i should take a stab at the number of his spelling mistakes.
16 regular mistakes + misspelling your name wrong 3 times + “OKAY” + “EMAIL” [I think it should have a hyphen because it is an abbriviation for “electronic mail”] + “BTW” + “YD” + “OMFG” + “i” + “O” + “U” + “GF” + “READ” + “U” + “TWILIGHTGUY” =
A grand total of 31! Plus countless errors in grammar, punctuation, and of course, content! 😀
So have fun sorting through all of these comments and picking a winner! Good luck everyone else!
wow! this guy really doesnt have a life cus aparently all he can talk about is the book that he hates with all of his soul! Makes no sense y he is even spending time on a thing he hates. lol Wait…..he should keep this on cus it just makes the millions of people on this site laugh more and more!!! hahaha
omg i cannot believe somene would write that to you that’s so awful. keep reading and dont let that bug you i agree with one of the earlier posts, i’m disgusted to be in the same species as that that meanie! PS: TWILIGHT RULES! EDWARD IS REAL! AND BEST OF ALL A SNEAK PEEK OF BREAKING DOG HAS BEEN REVEALED!
I counted 23 and have listed them below (I excluded GF and OMFG but included YD because I have never heard of it)
1)COME = Came
2)YOR = Your
3)COUD = could
4)PROLLY = probably
5)BCAUSE = because
6)GIRLS = girl’s
7)YD = yesterday?
8)caleb = Kaleb
9)anywher = anywhere
10)proll y = probably
11)calebs = Kaleb’s
12)caleb = Kaleb
13)CAUSE = because
14)PROLLY = probably
15)WIT = with
16)SOO = so
17)SWARE = swear
18)O = oh
19)U = you
20)NOW = know
21)READ = reads
22)U = you
23)FREAKIN =freaking