(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

TwilightGuys Report: He Disguises Twilight In Public

June 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 am by Kaleb Nation


“I am not a sit-around-the-house-and-read-type guy. Usually if I find a good book, I will go to my favorite local coffee shop and read it, but I’ve discovered, through research in coffee shops that I do not frequent, that any guy caught reading Twilight in public will get stares, giggles, and the occasional, but unwanted, wink from another guy across the room.

I had thought long and hard about what a solution to this problem could be when it suddenly came to me: Create a new cover for the book. Now, if I were a bit more confident in myself, I would have made a new cover out of notebook paper that said “NOT TWILIGHT” on the front and taped it on, but that is not the case. I searched my room and finally found a pamphlet about Porsches I had picked up a few weeks earlier that had almost the same dimensions of the book. I carefully removed the cover of the Porsche book, measured out the dimensions of Twilight, and glued it over the front cover of the book (being that it’s a paperback, I’m not too worried about ruining the book, because it only cost me about $9).

Now I am free to read about “Porsches” in public without being laughed out of (or hit on by men at) coffee shops, and it only cost me a free Porsche book and 10 minutes of my time.

Now, on to matters of greater importance, such as figuring out how to become Edward Cullen…”

Submitted by Ryan

A free Alice t-shirt from TwilightTeez.com for the story!

Posted in TwilightGuys Report

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100 Responses

  1. Ash

    and he is getting a alice tshirt lol ironic

  2. Il Ein Eeuq

    Wow. Wish I thought of that before. : O

  3. Jessamyn

    You know red koala, I have a friend who is a bit more like your description, but all of us here just like some of the Edward habits of not being total jerks. (Although, since you can’t really find an Edward, I’m content with a Jacob, as there are plenty of those!)

  4. Chicago 1901

    I’m a guy who is into the Twilight saga, and while I applaud your ingenuity in disguising your book so well, I don’t see why anyone, male or female, has to be embarassed to be seen reading any book in public. I don’t live in the US, and here in this tropical country it’s no one’s business what anyone reads, nor would it occur to us to form an opinion about anyone by what they happen to be reading. I think the Twilight books are extremely well written works of literature and I have read the books in public and I’m actually proud to do so and there’s no problem at all. How can you guys claim to be a free country when you’re that deathly afraid all the time of what other people might think? Maybe it’s the same society that obsesses about what celebrities are wearing (I’m wearing Prada today…) We don’t care about that either. Stop looking over your shoulder all the time and just live your life.

  5. Crystal

    lol, ya I would probably attempt to talk to him. But hey! This could be an awesome way to get a date! In case a guy was in need of one.

    But honestly, he ruined the book! Couldn’t he simply tape it? Or get a slightly bigger cover to put around the paperback? $9 or not, that is a horrible way to treat a book!

  6. Bethany

    AHAHAHA this is my favorite Twilight Guy so far. I kept the book down flat on my lap so that people couldn’t see me reading it in public on the Transit system at school. I didn’t know if it was good yet and didn’t want to be mistaken for a rabid fangirl.

  7. Aurielle

    Aye, finding a guy who is similar to Edward Cullen, that is of great importance.

  8. Jenn

    Any guy who is willing to read Twilight and then admit to it gets an A in my book! I think that they are all headed in the right direction as far as Edward like qualities are concerned by just reading the book. Then they can take it one step further by opening doors, being polite and treating a girl with the respect that she diserves. No one is going to find Edward Cullen but we can all find our own Edwards.

  9. Kim (there are a lot of us too)

    That’s a really creative way to avoid being seen reading Twilight! Although I’d agree with a lot of other people here that I can’t imagine gluing something onto any book, let alone Twilight, unless it was to reattach a cover that had fallen off (which has happened with other books that I own).

    And as for Red Koala, my first impression of Red Koala was that he was being sarcastic… Just a thought.

  10. Emmy-lou

    Hey….Still kinda freaked out bout the glue here!

    When you read new moon, put just a cover over it. Books DO come like that you know.


  11. Sydney

    Oh my gosh that is just too funny. Next time I’m in a book store or a coffee shop and I see I guy reading a book about “Porsches” I’m definatly going to go and ask him how the reading is coming. =P

  12. Lara Loves Edward

    I think guys reading twilight is hott!
    Trying to become edward? impossible.
    but if you can become like him then thats hott.
    let me know if you succeed.. =]

    Red Koala, You have no what you’re on about.
    You’re just jealous coz you can never match up to edward.
    its ok.
    i understand.
    you have a bruised ego..
    theres no need to take it out on everyone else..

  13. Paul R

    I don’t believe you got winked at…you’re lying just to be funny and it’s pathetic.

  14. Snow

    Dear Red Koala,

    Edward has what men rarely possess today – chivalry.

    Edward is the epitome of chivalry & gallantry. We women are just hoping it’s not dead.

    So if men emulate Edward, then they’re on the right track. We would love you so much more.

    sincerely yours…

  15. Snow

    Paul R,

    Ryan didn’t mention that HE got winked at, he just gave examples of what happened to guys when they read Twilight publicly in coffee shops.

    That was just his OBSERVATION. It didn’t happen to HIM.

    Please read properly before commenting on something.

  16. Emmi

    hahah thats hilarious
    who wouldn’t wink at a guy who was reading twilight! i would lol πŸ˜€

  17. Rose

    I think it’s awesome if a guy reads Twilight! I’ve seen a few guys at my school carrying around a Twilight book and I must say, they automatically become favorites of all the girls… Well, at least all the ones who’ve read Twilight… ^.^

    Also, I couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that it had to be a Porsche cover…

  18. Ash is DA Bomb!

    luv it but (I know everyone is saying this) YOU GLUED IT TO THE BOOK! I would be soooo mad. I once let a “Friend” barrow my Twilight. When I got it back it was torn, bent and folded I was so flippen’ mad I screamed at her saying “Why did you do this to my baby!” lol the books are really my babies lol.
    Porches. Nice. Alice will be pleased and he’s getting a free Alice T-shirt to which is very ironic

  19. Abby

    That’s REALLY smart. Kaleb should do a whole post on how to be a guy while reading Twilight in public. I’m sure it would help.
    And CALM DOWN already about the glue. He is a GUY (no offense). It’s not like he’s a Twi-hard. Yet.
    Good luck, bud. I guess you’ll have to find a motorcycles cover for the next one!

  20. Ash is DA Bomb!

    Dang it my computer did that and I wasn’t done!!!

    Well… I not friends with the girl who abused my baby!!! (She was never a good friend) \

    Red Koala,
    Please don’t be offened but cannibalism means Human eats human And Edward is not human!!! ok we all no that but still that part is wrong. And we girls want Edward like boys not perfect but just the good things like being nice and honest and not being a jerk thats what we mean by it. Only Edward can be Edward k?

    I’m being so informal and typing in IM I just being lazy πŸ˜› me sleepy

    Luv Ashley

  21. zanyzeldafan

    Redkoala, whenever you say stuff like that, you must be prepared for attack from rabid fangirls.
    but. i thought it was funny x3

    ahh shame he had to befoul the beautiful cover.

  22. Genevieve Lael

    I thought that this was so great. because if he (ryan) ever gets that book signed by stephenie meyer it will be a one of a kind special book just for him. i’ve gotten all my hardbacks signed by stephenie and i love the fact that the pages are more yellow with each copy. πŸ˜€ i do wish that ryan would flaunt the fact that he is a twilighter guy. us twilighter girls have the hardest time finding guys who’ll read the books let alone look at them. *shrugs* i’m just saying. πŸ˜‰

  23. Genevieve Lael

    I thought that this was so great. because if he (ryan) ever gets that book signed by stephenie meyer it will be a one of a kind special book just for him. i’ve gotten all my hardbacks signed by stephenie and i love the fact that the pages are more yellow with each copy. πŸ˜€ i do wish that ryan would flaunt the fact that he is a twilighter guy. us twilighter girls have the hardest time finding guys who’ll read the books let alone look at them. *shrugs* i’m just saying. πŸ˜‰

  24. Genevieve Lael

    aww man!…. sorry. i didn’t mean to post it twice. i blame the computer….. *shrugs with sheepish smile*

  25. googlyeyes

    Abbby I agree!!

    Kaleb should do a post on how to be a guy while reading twilight in public.
    ha ha =D

  26. Amanda

    Tip to Ryan, maybe you shouldn’t hide the cover, that way when girls do see you reading the book in public one of them will come talk to you at some point. When this does happen be prepared for the giggling, it’s just what we do. The first words out of her mouth will probably be something along the lines of, “OMG, Twilight is, like my favorite book ever! Don’t you just love it?” Then you have to have something smooth to responde with… and make sure your hair looks good those days.

  27. Travis

    If he’s too afraid to read it in public openly, is he going to take the shirt? If my Twilight Guy story isn’t published, and he doesn’t want his shirt, I’ll take his shirt and photograph myself wearing it with all of the girls I convinced to read Twilight!

  28. Risa (Riss-uh) C

    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:06 am
    haha that was an amusing one but I still don’t understand it.
    If I ever am lucky enough to come across a guy reading Twilight, I would be so incredibly intrigued that I would approach him at once.
    I can think of only one thing more attractive and that is Edward Cullen himself.”

    ^ I SO agree with that.
    However, I did laugh when I read this Twilight Guy entry.

  29. Samantha

    lol, I can’t sympathize with you, but I can definently understand. I have a guy friend that absolutely loves Twilight, but he’s also embarrassed about reading it in public.

    Although, honestly, if I were to see a guy reading Twilight, I’d definitely ask him out. I mean, any guy that likes that sensitive of a book can’t be that bad, right? πŸ˜‰ Just kidding (but I probably would ask you out with your makeshift Porsche magazine).

  30. Ruby

    lol, fun story but I think you would be hit more from girls than boys if you are reading Twilight. ^_^

    Good luck in becoming Edward.

  31. Melody

    You are a very secure guy. If I was in a freaky mood I might say that secureness is an awesome trait, but, like i said, if i was in a freaky mood.

  32. Candy

    Gosh, if every guy in the world tried to be a least a little like Edward, the world would be a whole lot better of a place. Sadly, the only thing us girls can do is day dream about fictional guys like Edward who will never truly exsist. *sigh*

    However, I think it kinda defeats the purpose if guys are ashamed to read Twilight in public. I know that if I spotted a guy brave enough to read Twilight in public and not give a hoot what people do or say to him, I would honsetly adknowledge him as an intelligent and decent guy (which dosn’t happen very often).

    Unfortunatly, finding such guys are about as rare as finding a palm tree in the north pole. Or at least, I have yet to come across one.

    Still, the fact that a guy is willing to read Twilight at all makes him pretty decent in my book.

  33. Lala

    My brother-in-law and father add new covers to books, but usually protect them. You shove paper backs into your bag and the corners get all wrinkled (if you’re not careful).

    What they do, though (and I am sure my bro-in-law got it from my dad) is take a blank sheet of paper and make a new cover, like for a hard back. That way, the book is protected and no one can see what it is.

    My bro-in-law sometimes even writes stuff on it, and if he leave sit unattended, I might even add drawings. That way, there’s no need to maim other books πŸ˜€

  34. karen

    hah that was cute.

    though i’m sure you’d get much more attention from the ladies if you didn’t tape the porsche magazine cover on the front.

    i just asked my boyfriend the other day if he would read twilight, and he said yeah, and went out and bought the book. he has no idea what it’s about, only that i’m completely obsessed with it. that’s attractive. because i’m aware he’s reading it, mainly.
    but yeah.

    you should read the sequels without a fake cover in the coffee shop, and see how many ladies wink at you.

  35. Yuko

    Chicago 1901 is totally right. just get on with life. Dont care what other people think. Live free of fears. get over them. ignore those people

  36. Krissie

    i think that is so cute…i mean why hide it? want to be an edward cullen? then be true to your self…^_^ just let go and be free! i think you get to grab some cute girls out there when you read the other books without the fake cover. ^_^…always remember…every girl needs an Edward Cullen. Cheers to you!

  37. Bethany-Ann

    Hahaha genius idea mate !
    I think that all guys should read twilight as it would benefit them as who wouldn’t appreciate being treated like Bella is by Edward by their boyfirend/husband whatever? Anyway congrats for reading the book and your genius idea and i may copy your idea for some of my ooks which im kinda embarrassed about !! πŸ™‚

  38. MMC in NC

    I guess I’m in the twilight moms camp (as a mom of 2 boys, married 17 years) and 41 so reading the entire Twilight series in 14 days did rock my inner teen. But I have to say that Edward Cullen is a guy that was created by the mind of a woman. Not unlike McDreamy in Grey’s Anatomy. Our whole book club (men & women) is reading this book and the $100,000 question is would men like Twilight? But it is Oh so addicting! Can’t wait for book #4 in Aug or the movie!

  39. MMC in NC

    Oops typo on my previous comment. Read the ENTIRE series in 4 days. All housework left undone until I powered through it along with a 26-year-old girlfriend who also read it with me in one week!

  40. Victoria

    -laughs- I love this guy. Though I think he should be proud of his Twilight guy status. Guys who read Twilight are so cute. But this is cute in its own way.

  41. Ash

    Absolutely hilarious. When you find out how to become Edward Cullen…look me up.

  42. megan

    haha! thats cute! although, i would pass by a guy i saw reading about porches, but i would go talk to a twilight guy. he should be proud.


    hey! i love ur story! its likk halarious. especially tha part where ur likk now moving on to more important issusses likk how to become edward cullen! good luck but there is only one edward cullen ever and dats the real one!

  44. Bunny

    I am freaking out!

  45. Kelli

    June 3rd, 2008 at 3:06 am
    haha that was an amusing one but I still don’t understand it.
    If I ever am lucky enough to come across a guy reading Twilight, I would be so incredibly intrigued that I would approach him at once.
    I can think of only one thing more attractive and that is Edward Cullen himself.”

    ^I agree with that too. But I was definetly laughing while I was reading that.

  46. Kelli

    But maybe the glue was a bit much.

  47. Megan Yakita

    lol nice, I remember when I was like 10 I put a harry potter book in a bible case so I could read it in church lol, my mom was not happy when she found out lol

  48. Lily

    LOL I like the ‘Not Twilight’ idea – I agree with alot of the comments here, if I saw a guy reading it I would be way too curious and just start talking to him *hint hint* XD

  49. Amanda

    Good idea, all though I frown upon glueing things to Twilight…

  50. Tai game chien thuat

    Hi there! Do you use Twitter? Id like to follow you if that would be okay. Im absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

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