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HE DISGUISES TWILIGHT IN PUBLIC “I am not a sit-around-the-house-and-read-type guy. Usually if I find a good book, I will go to my favorite local coffee shop and read it, but I’ve discovered, through research in coffee shops that I do not frequent, that any guy caught reading Twilight in public will get stares, giggles, and the occasional, but unwanted, wink from another guy across the room. I had thought long and hard about what a solution to this problem could be when it suddenly came to me: Create a new cover for the book. Now, if I were a bit more confident in myself, I would have made a new cover out of notebook paper that said “NOT TWILIGHT” on the front and taped it on, but that is not the case. I searched my room and finally found a pamphlet about Porsches I had picked up a few weeks earlier that had almost the same dimensions of the book. I carefully removed the cover of the Porsche book, measured out the dimensions of Twilight, and glued it over the front cover of the book (being that it’s a paperback, I’m not too worried about ruining the book, because it only cost me about $9). Now I am free to read about “Porsches” in public without being laughed out of (or hit on by men at) coffee shops, and it only cost me a free Porsche book and 10 minutes of my time. Now, on to matters of greater importance, such as figuring out how to become Edward Cullen…” Submitted by Ryan |
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A free Alice t-shirt from TwilightTeez.com for the story!
100 Responses
I think 17 but i’m not sure the first your is suppose to be you’re (all the haws and neighs got me sort of confused, haha). But i’ll stick with 17 and see where that gets me 🙂
dang it, wrong comment box. sorry.
xD Wow, brilliant idea! Though, once you get more comfortable with the books, you should proclaim it loud and proud to the world “I am a Twilighter guy! Got a problem? Deal with it =D!” No one should be worried about reading the great book in the world in public! ^_^
Wow. 😀
Great idea. xD
Now…
Can you really be Edward Cullen is the real answer. Not possible…
LULZ.
haha that was an amusing one but I still don’t understand it.
If I ever am lucky enough to come across a guy reading Twilight, I would be so incredibly intrigued that I would approach him at once.
I can think of only one thing more attractive and that is Edward Cullen himself.
HAHAHA. nice one.
“Porsches” XD
*claps* grats on admitting to reading twilight! & not to mention the great idea!
lol I should suggest it to the guys in my school (some of them yr 12 guys might i add =D) reading it who attempt to disappear when someone catches them in the act of reading a ‘girls book’!
& im sorry Ryan but no one can ever be Edward except Edward, but pls don’t NOT TRY! i wish all guys were trying to be Edwards!! lol divorce rates would plummet XD
this makes me giggle.
if i were a guy and i saw another guy reading twilight, i’d wink at him too. xD just because thats hilarious.
but yeah good idea. major props on your idea skills.
and uh, good luck on trying to become edward.
you put glue on The Book?!?!?!?!?!?!? i mean, I see your reasons, but should like tape it on instead.
I understand where this guy is coming from, but I have to agree with abbface. He GLUED it to THE BOOK!!?? Thats practically blasphemous!!
Ahaha I made my friend do this. I lent her The Host, but I didn’t want anyone else to see because then they’d make me lend it to them too, so I took the jacket thingy from World Without End and wouldn’t let her take it off. This didn’t end up working because it says “The Host” at the top of every page….
Hahaha good luck at your attempt at Edward!
I always imagined some guy doing that with the book (the cover switch thing) and yay, you finally did it! Lol.
Step one of becoming Edward Cullen: Get your very own Bella. Or get bitten by a vampire.
Smart guy to think of that :]
From those of us who have read the whole series so far: How ironic he chose a Porsches book cover… ha ha, Alice…
Good luck at your attempt to immitate Edward. You will most likely not succeed completely, but no one can; and the fact that you tried will get you far!
HE defaced THE BOOK!!!! how can anyone do that?
IS that even POSSIBLE to do without passing out?????
(I think i’m overreacting.)
BUT THE BOOK!!!!
Haha. Good idea.
I’m kinda with Emmy-Lou… GLUE? At least it was a paperback. I can handle that. I think.
I think that guy needs to be careful. If I found out a guy was smart enough to cover Twilight up to read it in public, I might hug him when I found out it was Twilight… I would also never let him forget it.
AWWW!
I personally find guys who read Twilight IN PUBLIC… SEXY~
step one on becoming more like Edward Cullen… YOU HAVE TO HAVE LOTS OF PATIENCE!
You used GLUE? I thought tape would have sufficed.
So basically what all you girls are saying, is that guys who are dangerously unpredictable, devilishly charming, with a violent temper, cannibalistic tendencies and with a lost soul are what all of us guys need to try and be like. Now i can see i’ve been going about this all wrong, instead of wanting the highest and best thing for my loved one, i should have been more like ickle Eddy Cullen with a sleepless face and a body like a statue. I’ll remember to be sure and put some glitter on the next time i go to the beach. Then i can look like a freak in the sun too! Women…
Shut up red koala. You’re an (oink) hole. You’re probably GJ. Kaleb, here’s another one for your Farm Animals. A red koala with a brain the size of a peanut.
Edward (not Eddy, (oink)hole) doesn’t wear glitter, and is not a cannibal. Devilishly charming was the only one you got right.
Kaleb, ignore people like GJ and this idiot. They’re obviously jealous of you.
damn, another pig escaped the farm. Anyone care for some bacon, red koala style?
Ryan, silly boy. Take it from Kaleb and tell everybody. what better way to get girls than say you read twilight? kaleb is just halfway into it? and hes got fangirls all around the world (yay for me in russia!) YULA
I agree with Allison. Red Koala ur an (oink)hole. So get a life and leave Edward out it, ya (heehaw).
OMG. How could you even THINK of GLUING something on the book! I don’t care if it was $9.00, the book is sacred (at least to me it is, Stephenie’s books are my bibles)!
I do have to say though…. Its kinda ironic how it just happened to be a PORSCHE cover xD You might still get giggles from that =P
But really, a note to all guys: DON’T BE AFRAID TO READ TWILIGHT! You actually turn out to be more manly when you do read it. It teaches you valuable lessons on how you should treat girls.
be proud of reading twilight!!!! i forced my guy friend to read it and now we spend good portions of our time discussing the books to death. he is so sweet, and like that boy, greg, was a jock who really didnt care about “some silly romance novel” but once he read it we became super close and now he is like a brother to me. so rock on twilight guys and dont be ashamed
haha, nice!! i love it!! “No, I’m not reading Twilight, I’m reading about Porches!!”haha, every guy should try to become Edward Cullen!! me and my friend were actually talking about how much we’re in love with Edward and our guy friend heard us and was like “What?! Who is Edward Cullen?!” and we both just started laughing out loud! it was so much fun and we (I speak for my friend here too!)cant wait for Breaking Dawn!!
Well Ryan, I understand that being a guy reading Twilight in public can cause quiet a lot of winks from the guy audience. I know some *wink* like guys that have read the book and so I agree with you in that way. But there is nothing to be ashamed of. I am sure that if a twilight Girl fan came along and saw the book you were reading then, well, you’ve scored. Haha. Now about wanting to become Edward Cullen, no one is stopping you. Us girls need more Edwards. There seems to not be enough to go around.
one more thing, it would have been more comical if you had put a Volvo cover instead of a Porche cover..hahaa
I guess Porches are more manly..ha
Hah good idea! Except the whole glue part *shudder* It’s not the matter of the $9. It’s that you put GLUE on TWILIGHT. *facepalm* Though porches? Thumbs up to that.
What would happen if you were in the coffee shop and a Twilight Girl winked at you? I think that would change the whole situation 😛
Good luck at trying to be Edward. You make the world a better place 😀 Guys like red koala, however, do not. *facepalm*
I read this and i was like OMG
he put glue on the book.
I freak out when my book touches the ground and has a little stain. LOL
But what if a girl winked at you and not some guy?
I’m gonna keep my eyes open for any guys reading about “porsches” from now on…
Too funny!! Right on dude!! I support you in whatever you do. At least you are man enough to read it.
At least Alice would be psyched it was a Porche pamphlet…
lol. Love the book camouflage. but you need to get a second hardcover copy for at home.
And to Red Koala, it’s not the “dangerously unpredictable…. with a violent temper, cannibalistic tendencies and with a lost soul” thing, it’s the caring so much about Bella that he doesn’t give in to those cabalistic tendencies. His Temper is caused by his fears for Bella’s safety, and everyone is dangerously unpredictable. AND Edward does have a soul. if you read the books, you would know.
Red Koala, get a life instead of stalking Twilight fansites, if you hate it so much!
and I love how you covered it with a Porche pamphlet! Good job for at least reading it!
On becoming Edward you need to be totally unselfish, which is impossible, but I’ll keep dreaming….
I wonder whether our dear coffee-shop reading friend knows about the Porsche in the later books? If not, it’s rather an amusing coincidence…if it is, it’s still amusing, and a bit less of a coincidence.
That was a good idea, even though you had to cover up that actual cover. 🙂 Now you should get a un-title-covered-up copy. I kind of freak out if a book gets ripped, torn, stained, folded, dirty, or ruinded from being perfect in any way. Its impossible to be Edward, but you can learn from him. Its cool that you decided to read Twilight! 🙂 Don’t be afrad to let girls see you reading Twilight, us girls like to see a guy read Twilight! 🙂
Red Kola, read the book before you judge it! If you dislike the book so much, then don’t waste your time being rude. I agree with Annie!
I have a great song for all of you Twilighters, You And I Both by Jason Mraz. In fact anything by him is awesome!
Awesome story Kaleb! I can not wait to see what you have to say about chapter 13!
Stevie was here
You have a very clever idea, I must say. Good luck trying to become Edward Cullen (you are going to need it!).
hmm I’m just curious do guys consider Midnight Sun more manly or just about the same??? It would be hilarious to see all those guys that have read Twilight reading Midnight Sun stating its manly. Wonder if it will happen you never know…
Becoming Edward Cullen… a worthy goal that all guys should attempt, whether they succeed or not, because at least they tried.
I’d have to agree with Annie on the Red Koala thing.
That’s a great story. I love that one.
Point of information: I read and enjoyed the book, and am also a guy. I found out about this site from a friend of mine. No, the book is not my problem. It is simply a fantasy. No, my problem is that girls want their boyfriends and husbands to emulate a figment of an author’s imagination. They want to somehow make Edward real. This is an unhealthy obsession and i would be just as harsh about women trying to make their men like Legolas from LotR. I will, however, respect your collective wish that i not post here any more.
It’s sad that we have ran Red Koala away:( He does have a very good point that all Edward obsessed girls should take into consideration. (Just no one over react about the comments because actually the comments are for the article alone.)
GRRRRRRRR.
WEll, at least there is one GOOD thing about this.
Alice has a “car” if you get what I mean. The SAME kinda car… hello?
You see, Red Koala, we really don’t mind your opinions. It was the way you worded it the first time. Now, your second post was much more polite and for that I respect you. Realize that we don’t expect our boyfriends/husbands to be perfectly like Edward. But Edward has qualities that I believe every man should possess. And they are not huge qualities. My boyfriend is amazing because he opens doors for me and lets me be myself. Those are Edward traits but I do not expect him to be Edward perfect. I think it’s a good thing that Stephenie Meyer has given us this ideal guy, because girls will start having higher standards. There are too many girls with crappy boyfriends out there that could do so much better. Edward was what made me realize that my ex was an idiot and that I could do better. And now I have this amazing boyfriend! But I do agree with you Red Koala that wanted a guy to be “perfect Edward” is just not realistic. But wanting Edward-like-qualities in a guy is not a bad thing. 🙂
The best part is that Porsches are big plot points in the Twilight series.
Amazing.
Red Koala, I’m very glad you’re not being a total jerk. You gave your opinion graciously, and we can really appreciate that. However, I must disagree. We, as readers, overlook Edward’s flaws because he’s a gentleman. Yes, we know he makes a lot of mistakes and he’s deeply conflicted and antagonistic and all of this, but we know that deep down he is something that we simply don’t have anymore: A GENTLEMAN. Someone who actually respects women, someone who wouldn’t dream of doing anything to compromise them. That’s why Edward is wary about staying with Bella – he believes that he’s all wrong for her.
There are no Edward Cullens. We don’t want someone with his PERSONALITY, per se. We just want someone who is willing to change, to try to be better, for someone they love. I think that sums it up for me.
My friend did this. Her parents are super strict, and don’t want her to read anything but what they approve (not a wide selection).
So, I lent her the Twilight saga, which she would read at school and under the cover of night. As for the Host, I bought it for her as a surprise. She, of course, was thrilled. But so she could read it publicly, she took the cover of a book she should be reading that was about the same size. So, her Host copy for a week was ‘Van Helsing’ (a bit ironic)
Now, it’s hidden in the back of her closet.
Ok where can i find this guy, and will you marry me?
this is my all time favorite twilight guy story so far…
although,… i was at borders to buy a copy of twilight today, and the guy at the counter seemed to have a very enthusiastic review for it, and my friend and I gave him a round of applause for his outspoken support and love of te book…=) he definetely has my respect=)
If I saw a guy reading Twilight in public, an introduction would be called for. =]
And perhaps the exchanging of numbers
and deep, intellectual conversations over numerous cups of caffeinated beverages.
Maybe afterwards I could cook this guy dinner as he flipped through his music collection to set the perfect ambiance for our first night out of the eye of the public.
But that’s just me. =]
Note to guys: Reading is sexy. Reading Twilight is like waving a golden ticket.