The song for this chapter is First Time by Lifehouse (suggested by Czarina)
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/firsttime.mp3]
I know I should be studying for my abysmal college exam tomorrow, but as I’m sure you can relate, I’d much rather be getting to the next chapter of Twilight instead. It is like choosing between a can of mutant roaches or a vat of Reeses ice cream. Apologies to my professor. Twilight wins out.
Lo and behold, right off the first page of this chapter, Edward has become a chap I might enjoy hanging out with, simply because he listens to 50’s music. Granted, no one can tell that by the stuff I usually listen to, but hidden in my media player is more than a few tracks from Little Richard, like this one:
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/goodgollymissmolly.mp3]Or the ever famous shout for Lucille:
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/lucille.mp3]I can just imagine Edward twisting and shouting on the dance floor. Which makes me imagine Bella attempting to twist and shout on the dance floor, which would be the epitome of disaster. No, actually this would be the epitome of disaster:
the look on my face says it all
Anyhow, as I continue reading (with Lucille blaring in my stereo), Bella is coincidentally having the same meal I am munching at this very moment, and the same meal which I warned The Lasagna Burglar about stealing again. I also realize that the Other Good Vampire Family lives in Alaska, and I was just recently there. I could have been staying in the clutches of vampires without even knowing it. Shudder.
This line is a premonition of the future, if not to be revealed in this book but in a future one:
(Edward talking about Alice) She knows other things. She sees things — things that might happen, things that are coming, but it’s very subjective. The future isn’t set in stone. Things change.”
His jaw set when he said that, and his eyes darted to my face and away (…).
Writers absolutely love this. The point behind this line is that Alice more than likely has already foretold something about Bella and Edward, but Edward doesn’t want to believe it. He is reassuring himself with this that whatever Alice foretold has a possibility of not happening. It is a small, hidden paragraph, but this tells loads of what is going to happen in the future: something has been foretold that might not turn out to be the best.
Something that I noticed specifically in this chapter is how much Bella and Edward talk about everything. There are quite literally few words left unspoken about what they are feeling. It is as if since they cannot just outright read each other’s minds, they have decided to voice what they are thinking, in a way to break down the barriers between them.
According to this, the #1 leading cause of divorce is the unwillingness to communicate lovingly. People just don’t talk (I can see girls pointing at their guys right now). However, for Bella and Edward, it’s very obvious to both of them (and us) how they feel about each other, because they actually say it to one another. Fellows: this is very important. There is a reason that 85% of a Twilight chapter is conversation and dialog between Bella and Edward, directly proportionate to the reason girls feel that Edward and them would make such a perfect couple.
The important thing to note is that conversation does not mean simply talking about what you want to say. As put by an email I recently got:
‘(…)wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to sit in a car with a guy and gush about Antonio Vivaldi, instead of, say, Grand Theft Auto IV?’ .
Also, another girl continues the thought with the reassurance:
‘If we could just get you to watch one chick flick with us (um, The Notebook, anyone?), we would be more than happy to leave you guys alone with whatever you want to do, no problem (…) and I wanna tell him, why don’t you freakin soften up the macho and say why you love me (like Edward, duh)?’
It’s not something that needs to monopolize your time: it’s just the fact that Edward at least puts out the effort. Many girls actually enjoy talking about GTA IV or sports, but as put by the second emailer later in her message: ‘not every single second of every single day of every single(…)occasionally, something different is what I’d like (to hear).‘. Bella and Edward have probably spoken on deeper levels than many married couples out there today, simply because they’re willing to communicate lovingly with each other.
On another note, thanks to Youtube, I can’t see Charlie’s name without picturing a grumpy unicorn and his irritating friends.
——NOTES——-
– I have two Mitch Hansen Band CD’s to give away this week from TwilightTeez.com, as well as the regular shirts. Mitch Hansen, as you may know, makes music based off Twilight. Anyone who comments here until the end of the week is entered.
– I absolutely must mention Novel Novice, which is a new Twilight site written by an 8th grade teacher. Right now, she’s doing a countdown of her favorite Top Twilight sites, and lo and behold– twilightguy.com got number 4 (and gasp, mayhaps even an offhanded comparison to Mr. Darcy?). Thanks Ms. Truitt!
– TwilightTeez.com is running some Twilight Guy specials in preparation for Father’s Day. You should check out some of their stuff! Lots of it was designed by fans or by Stephenie herself.
– The Fantastic TwiHards are trying to start a Mr. Fantastic TwiHard channel! Go check them out and message them if you’re interested in trying out 😀
– I am up to May 28 on email replies. If you emailed me before then, check your bulk folder in case I was marked as spam.
– There are currently over 50 entries for the TeamTwilighter auditions on Youtube! If you haven’t put yours in yet, now’s the time. And while we’re talking about Youtube…I’ll have a new video soon. Subs to my channel see it the evening before, so if you’re on there you can subscribe here.
223 Responses
I simply love your take on each chapter. I am trying so very hard to make my husband a “Twilight Husband” I even show him some of your blogs/comments. Still no luck. Then over the weekend I went to a Barnes & Noble to pre-order Breaking Dawn. The girl who works there was sooo very happy I was ordering the book. Then we gushed on and on about Twilight as my husband just stood by. I was like see what you are missing and then the salesperson said…yes have you read “Twilight Guy”??? I was like Yes!!! Did you see he just did Cahpter 13!!! Then she went on to say to my husband how he could cover the book like you did with a porsche cover. I had to share.
Wow. You hit the nail on the head with the comment about Alice. I didn’t quite understand that part until later.
And the Carlie the unicorn thing effects me also, I love that video. There’s a sequel, if you’re interested- Charlie the Unicorn 2!
Good job. That was amazing, this is the first time i have read your site and omg i love it. I am 12 and obbsesed with twilight and you have done awsome jobs on breaking down the chapters.
also i love the picture of charlie the unicorn 🙂
I really love reading your “reviews” of each chapter. You go in depth and really look for meanings. It makes me realize some things that I may have missed!
Can’t wait till you read my favorite chapter! Chapter 15! Have fun,
Abby
Love the chapter by chapter from a guy’s perspective. I hope you did well on your final!
God KALEB! You so totally get it!!! Goodluck on your exams!:D
mah lord I thought no one but me and my friends had seen charlie the unicorn. Continue reading Twight, it gives us all hope for those of us with… less than… Edward men whom we still love and for God’s sake watch your kidney!
Guys should read this and take note…!
Also I can relate to the exam thing….I should be studying for French and History exams tomorrow…instead I’m reading this!
hey Kaleb!
i simply love your site! the way you write about the different twilight chapters is just awesome! you must be a very sensetive guy if you are able to write about twilight that way!
continue your great work!
greetings from germany
Lisa
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to write your wonderfull and hilarious opinions on Twilight. I am grateful you are “man” enough to be honest!
That had me wondering and wondering and wondering until I finally got some insight in the second or third book. 😀 YAY.
Congrats! This was another wonderful post of yours 🙂 You totally get the chapter and another part of the awesomeness of Edward and you are man enough to accept it. I have read Twilight 3 times and I couldn`t gather all those ideas you got like the one about Edward and Bella talking more deeply than a married couple. Guys should definetey take notes from your posts!
Love your work!!! I myself am pacing myself and reading thru all 3 current books and am scheduled to finish on August 1st!! Woot! lol, do you know how hard it is to pace yourself! Im trying really hard NOT to skip the chapters without Edward in them, lol, later twilight guy!
ps-my many failed attempts to have my husband read twilight is troubling, I may need some pointers, nothing seems to be working! lol 😀
You have a great mission/project. Kaleb, you may be the only guy to really understand girls. I support the TWILIGHT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You understand Edward fully. You may be the one of the only guys who think Edward isn’t weak and gay!
Haha, I loved the Charlie the Unicorn reference.
It’s a leopluradon, Charlie! A magical leopluradon! ^_^
I live Edward and Bella’s conversations so much! Charlie the Unicorn is awesome. Especially the slowed down version. Charlie aounds like he’s burping. I love you site, Kaleb!! I will have to give Hitch Hansen a listen. Thanks for being awesome!!
HAHAHAHAHA. Kalab you are great. I completely agree about the whole Charlie thing too! lolz:D
Tootles,
A <3
Your blog has been the best tool I have to get my male friends to read Twilight, or at least not make fun of it. You completely understand the book and the relationship between Bella and Edward. =]
another thing i noticed, and i dont know if you have yet, is that they both read each other’s face so well. even though their relationship is new, bella can tell almost exactly how edward is feeling just by his expression, and vice versa. i think thats amazing.
Okay. So I have to admit that when I first heard that this site was going to come out and what its purpose was, I must say that I laughed at first. In my vast and utterly confusing mind, I had assumed that guys could never get a good insight on what was behind the words and how that made girls just fall in love with it. Basically, I thought you wouldn’t be able to read in between the lines. But as I looked through all your posts (even the ones about those who may not support you as a lot of girls here do), let me just tell you that I was crying for joy. Never had I met a guy who 1) Read Twilight for the fun of it and 2) Actually gave a hoot about what it was about. The way you explain the picture and words that form in your head when you read every chapter, well, it really makes me happy. (I sound sappy now, don’t I?) As you can imagine, I am a major Twilight fan or else I wouldn’t even be writing this, and I just want to say, keep up the good work. 😀
So…. i was looking through these comments and rereading my own when i found out that there is either another “April” or im just getting on the site and commenting when im sleeping. So if April#2 reads this, i just want to keep ourselves separated.
Hey Kaleb! I love your site! and you are so right about the talking stuff!
Guys need to talk their feelings out!
OMG I can’t wait. It’s only a matter of time now until someone makes a video of Edward dancing……
You should put a force field around your fridge. Like, Ocean’s 12 style.
Hello,
*haha* so funny. 😀
But you’re right with this ‘lovely communication’ … guys should definatly improve it! Look at Edward! xD
And what you read between the lines with this Alice-thing quite impresses me. You’re great. 😉
And by the way: I’m on reading the first chapters of your book, but i didn’t manage it to finish reading, it’s a little bit more difficult for me ’cause English is not my mother language. [I’m from Germany, that’s why this comment has so much mistakes 😀 ]
But to what i read til now: I really like it. 🙂
Saskia <3
I love how you tell guys about why girls love Edward so much. Because It’s true. And I love that a guy can see that and understand it. I also love that you’re getting really into it. It seems so strange to me, who, as a teen, has a lot of time on her hands, that it might take someone more than two days to read Twilight 🙂
#51, George…
Kaleb, I think he needs to be a farm animal… a goose perhaps? He seems like a one who quacks to me.
I also wish to note his lovely, sophisticated vocabulary:
“you are stupid and GAY. i am a guy and you are a f@ggot we care about f@cking girls and getting l@id (…) try going to real school and maybe you will get l@id and spend your time doign that instead of writing your bullsh@t. twilight sucks you suck your site sucks”
*applause* I think he used his full second grade education in that comment! I hope that’s not all guys care about…
You are the coolest guy in the world, Kaleb. ‘Nuff said.
I always thought dialog was spelt dialogue? *shrugs* Your analysis pwns. I especially like how you tell guys what to do to be more like Edward. They can make a checklist and then the world will be full of Edwards! YES!
Another awesome chapter review.
Thanks!
Nice song choice as well.
Wow. So many girls are loving you right now for your opinions on this chapter! The relationship between Bella and Edward makes every girl swoon and you’ve totally figured that out now. Girls just want to feel that the guy they’re with understands them and really wants to feel loved. Edward makes Bella feel that way because he actually talks to her. Kaleb, ignore any guys who make a big deal about you reading twilight, they just don’t want to admit that they’re curious about why girls love it too! I’ve explained to my boyfriend why I love the books and although he doesn’t truly get it and doesn’t ever plan on reading it, he respects that I love a book series so much. You’re awesome Kaleb, and you totally get the whole twilight obsession now I think! I hope no more people send you comments like that guy george or whatever! People need to show a little respect! Gosh!
Keep on reading and have fun reading it as well!!!!
I love your take on the Twilight chapters! I can’t express my gratitude for your updates…though now I’m sounding cheesy. Anywho, love yah, and keep on reading! (Edward rules all)
I have an image of Edward twisting and shouting under a disco ball permenetly etched into my mind, thanks to you. I’m going to be laughing about that for the rest of the week!
I love how this chapter ends. Poor Edward has so many instincts he must resist.
The world would be such a happy place if everyone just took the time to read Twilight.
I’m so happy to see you start this revolution of sorts.
The world would be a happier place if everyone just took the time to read Twilight.
I’m thrilled to see you start this revolution of sorts!
I love Charlie’s friends! They are funny and evil.
PS: I really want one of those Cds. 🙁
I love Charlie’s friends! They are funny and evil.
PS: I really want one of those Cds. 🙁
PPS: If by some stroke of luck I actually do win, please use this email account as it would be impossible to find your email in the other. (It is part of a Twilight group which sends over 100 emails a day.)
Ah, You seriously notice the little important things people rarely catch.
The Alice thing – Clever catching.
The Bella and Edward speaking so deeply together – Very impressive. I didn’t even realize that’s when I really started liking Edward.
Haha. Keep on reading, Your enteries are pretty dang amazing (:
Ha! I love Charlie the Unicorn! And wow, you are verrry observant! You totally get everything that is great about Edward! Go you!
You know, I think you’re right about the communication thing. People just don’t talk as much as they should. They bottle it all up inside because they’re scared or think they’ll sound dumb. And then there’s the ones that just don’t care at all… Untalkative guys don’t realize how lucky they are when they have a girlfriend for more than a month.
lol I Always thought of Charlie the Unicorn when reading his name. And also, me and my friends always imagine Edward doing something funny to us…like doing the twist. Last week it was him doing the soulja boy. *rotfl* can you say yooouu!
I very recently read Twilight, and instantly become a Twilighter. Constantly looking for anything about the series and movie that I can get a hold of. Tonight, my search went from Meyer’s home site, to youtube, to Mitch Hansens Band, to twilighters.org, to you.
Your comments really helped me to look a little deeper in the meaning of the chapter, and your light hearted tone really sets the stage. I enjoyed reading you work, and I will definitely will be back to read more!
BTW, Mitch’s Hansens Band is awesome! He really captures the spirit of Twilight in his songs.
Charlieee. Chaaarrrlieeee.
I agree with the whole communication thing. I have a billion boys in my family (ok, fine, only 5 brothers and my dad). It’s not only boyfriends who don’t know how to talk.
And please, please turn #51 into an animal!!!!! I can’t wait to see what it will be.
Ahaha…50’s music makes me smile. I also love how Edward hates 70’s music — my kind of man!
And I agree with Mary about writer #51. Do I hear a moo moo?
Hello Kaleb1
I’ve been reading about your site for a while now and I just finally caught up on all of your Chapter Posts. They’re lovely and insightful and, for me, I find it much more interesting reading what a writer thinks about Twilight, more so than a Twilight Guy (though that is fascinating on its own).
Anyway, my only request is more Cullen talk! I know they haven’t made much of an appearance yet, but I’d love to get your opinions on the Cullen clan — particularly Alice and Jasper, my absolute favorite characters and couple in the book (Yes, more than Edward and E/B!).
Thank you!
I have to say, I love the perspective you have on the books because you’re a guy. You absolutely hit the nail right on the head both last chapter and this one. That’s one of the things I really like about Edward and Bella…they talk! Some of the things they say to each other are just so darned sweet. And its disappointing to know that a lot of the stuff they say would sound corny in real life to us simply because we don’t experience it. Edward is actually himself and talks and I think one of the reasons girls love him is that they wish it actually happened in real life. Who knows? Maybe you’ll inspire enough guys to read Twilight that it will become the norm to act like Edward. It seems to work based on some of the Guys Reading Twilight things you’ve gotten. You could be the one to change relationships forever!!!
Hey Kaleb,
I just ran across your site. I’m glad to see someone of the male species openly reading “Twilight”. While my husband is very sensitive, he actually enjoys “Pride and Prejudice” and “The Notebook”, he has actively met with other husbands in our neighborhood to join together as the “I want my wife back from the world of Twilight” club. I enjoy reading your insight from week to week. I hope you continue on with the series. My favorite book in the saga is book 3.
BTW.. I just told my husband about you (in the middle of writing this) and he said that he will read them (privately) after this semester is over (he is in college). And I think I’ve convinced him to watch the kids while I fly to Seattle to go to the BD book signing. He really is one hell of guy, even if he is not Edward. 🙂 He’s pretty close.
Take care!
You mentioned in your post things that Stephenie Meyer has slipped into the books hinting at the future. I was wondering if you noticed that in the first chapter right before her first day of school Bella says, “No one was going to bite me” (paperback pg.14). I laugh every time I re-read Twilight at that line!
Glad you’re enjoying Twilight. I wish I had the discipline to read only 1 chapter at a time…I eat books for breakfast! lol.
~Jessica
You’re very insightful! I love reading your analysis of the chapters. Glad you’re enjoying Twilight so far!
Darn that lasagna burglar!
I love reading your views on the chapters; your comments often make me reconsider details that I didn’t notice on my first (or second) reading. Keep up the good work!