The song for this chapter is Valentine by Jim Brickman (suggested by Jodie)
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/valentine.mp3]
I had no clue how much expectation is on my shoulders from readers of this site, until yesterday evening, when I received quite a few sour messages asking why I had done a second TwilightGuy Reports instead of a new chapter. The reason is, on occasion, I must take off Wednesdays, as well as the usual post-less Sundays. It gives me a chance to answer email and get caught up on things, like cleaning out my writer-junk or studying for exams. But never fear: I’m back, and with me are The Cullens!
It is in this chapter that I finally get to meet the elusive family of vampires. At least, I get to meet most of them. Two are not there, and I’m beginning to get the feeling that for some reason, they were told to stay away while Bella was around. I also feel a slight uneasiness as Bella enters the house: the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory. However, Bella has Edward, and as long as he’s there, no one will be leaping from the shadows to take a bite.
We writers are quite an odd bunch (if you haven’t discovered already). Writers have gobs of fun with droll things like sentences, like rearranging the italics or commas in other people’s books to find new meanings. Take for example:
“What’s for breakfast?” I asked pleasantly. (…)
Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Bella.”
Entirely different meaning when you remove the comma:
“What’s fer breakfast?” the goblin growled. (…)
Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat Bella.”
And Bella, I must simply disagree. There are etiquette books out there detailing how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family:
Edward on the piano is one of the most striking images I have found in this book. If anything, Annie Leibovitz could capture the scene well with a photo lit similarly to her shots of the Queen– a dark and slightly brooding mood. It is one of the scenes that I am looking forward to the most in the upcoming movie.
I have a thing for piano music. There are few instruments as soft and perfect as just a simple piano. Like Bella, I took lessons years ago but whined enough so my mom finally relented and let me quit. It is something I regret very much (I whined about writing, she did not relent, and now I’m an author — notice the pattern).
However, despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear, and I still get the enjoyment that comes from making music. It is one of those things that calms the mind unlike anything else; so much that after leaving the piano home, yesterday I bought a new keyboard for my apartment, so I could keep making music for my own enjoyment. Nothing really compares to being able to compose your own songs, since it comes straight from your mind, untarnished by others who cannot capture it like you can yourself.
In this way, there is something special in the fact that Edward has written a song for Bella. It shows his feelings run far deeper than mere words. When making a song, the composer is thinking about something and trying to describe it in music, be it a certain scene or a feeling or a person. It is like painting a portrait of something from your imagination, but with sound. The fact that Edward has composed a song for Bella shows that she is on his mind so much, he cannot help but have her come out through his music. The sweetness of the notes describe Bella in the way that he sees her.
I realize that by always talking about Edward’s many qualities, the guys who read this are about ready to throw something at me. After all, he is a piano-playing, sweet-talking, movie-star-looking vampire, with whom no real guy could go up against. However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere. So many guys these days can just tell girls what they want to hear, like a fake-Edward, in order to get what they want, and use shallow words to make it seem that they mean what they are saying. But the sincerity of Edward’s feelings towards Bella goes far beyond mere words or etiquette: he really does think about her all the time, and it’s the little things like his music that are a reflection of that fact.
On a completely different note, if this was the stereotypical vampire novel, this paragraph would happen differently:
“It’s nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home,” I added conventionally.
“Thank you,” Esme said. “We’re so glad that you came.”
Then she snickered. “But this room isn’t as beautiful as –“
She suddenly lunged to pull a nearby lever and shrieked. “–the dungeon!”
And that was the last we heard from Bella Swan.
——NOTES——
– I just finished a draft of a new song, and if anybody is interested I’d love to get you opinions on it. It’s part of a project I’m doing to compose a soundtrack score for my book. You can hear the song on this page and leave opinions for it there. I’m not sure how good I am at it, so any input is great 😀
– Remember – anyone who comments this week is entered in the contest for a Mitch Hansen CD from twilightteez.com . I’ll email winners next week. Oh, and if you want it, maybe mention somewhere in your comment like ‘gimme the CD!’ or similar, so I know who’s in 😉
– I have been getting lots of messages recently from girls apologizing for reading my site. For some reason, a few people think this site is only for guys. That is nonsense. Girls and guys are welcome, though I’m only looking for Twilight stories from Guys (on the Guys page).
– I apologize for a lack of new videos on my Youtube channel. I’m planning a few new ones very soon – time has been evading me. But I just wrapped up a completely new intro which is boatloads better than the last one. You’ll be seeing it soon.
– If you won a prize either through a post or TwilightGuys Report, I will be getting an email to you at the end of this week for your shipping info. I’m just super behind due to exams and 4 chapters I am now forced to read tonight between…midnight and 2 AM 😀 . No sleep for the Twilight Guy!
253 Responses
… I don’t think guys even need to read Twilight anymore… they should just come to this website.
You just… get it.
I’m awed.
Twilight Guy= almost, if not equally as insightful as Edward Cullen himself.
Way to go.
Kaleb with all of this wonderful insight into what girls want from guys, you’re going to be getting some marriage proposals soon (if you haven’t already). Edward’s great and all but a flesh and blood guy who gets it is even better. Sooooo, how do you feel about older women? *wink wink*
By the way, the picture of the Dummies book is your funniest one yet. I laughed so hard I sounded like a honking goose.
First comment! What a treat for me. :]
Alright, Kaleb, this is not fair: you write great books, blogs, and songs (loved the new “Farfield” song, by the way.) You read Twilight and understand why all of us gals read the book as if it were the Bible. You take idiotic crap from smelly farm animals.
Yeah, you rock. Just thought you should know.
P.S. Esme would never put Bella in a dungeon — that would be Rosalie’s pleasure.
Good Luck with everything you have to do. And i love the pic of the dummies book…but you could have put your face on the cover if you had wanted too. Anyways love your site, keep up the good work!
(p.s. as you put it “gimme that CD”)
Kaleb, you can put into actual words why girls like Bella. Which a lot of people have trouble doing. Even those people that have read the books multiple times. You rock!!! Keep reading because it gets even better.
P.S. I would love that CD.
“the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory”
ROFL. Genius. That was possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever heard…well, read. =)
As has already been said, YOU ROCK! I have nothing more to add. XD
haha I forgot…gimme the CD! lol
I’m glad that you posted (and I didn’t mind the extra Twilight Guys Reports) but I would have liked to hear more about your opinions on the Cullens themselves.
I think you are one of the only people who can put into words why we girls like Edward Cullen so much.
That was a great post (like always ^_^). I especially loved your “For Dummies” book picture! I laughed so hard that I think that I fell out of my chair!
Oh, I also thought that the changing the comma part was also funny, for I like to do that too (I’m a writer too! ^_^).
I love your website and keep up the good work! ^_^
GIMME THAT CD! okay, now that is over. . .
First: I just wanted to say, congratulations! You are officially the only person I have ever heard of who has succesfully understood Twilight at its deepest levels.
Second: I want to know what you think about the movie. Do you think it will suck or be just as amazing as the book?
Hey, I could really use a new cd to listen to… *wink, wink* 🙂
I was also fascinated with Edward and his piano in this scene. The piano seems like such a timeless thing to me, I dunno.. I just find myself smiling every time I read that part.
BTW, I really enjoyed your piece for the Farfield Curse.. it was gorgeous!! Very pleasant and airy melody. You did a wonderful job!
haha. yes, I must agree with the many comments above my own. The Dummies book was, without fail, one of your best yet.
I would definitely purchase it.
If only I could put it to use…
oh! one of the comments made me quite curious…
Seriously, have you received any proposals of marriage?
hehe. I had to ask.
P.S.
and to adhere to your kind nudge to our sides, “gimme the cd”!
😀
OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGG AHHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW O-M-G HAHAHAHA THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH AN INTRODUCTION FROM EDWARD CULLEN HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA…………………..
Ok you officialy made my night LOL
“despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear”
I know that feeling!!! When I was 6 years old (yeah I started playing piano since 4) I “wrote” a piece and played it to my mom (I was so happy LOL) saying it was “mine” and then she was like…. what? that’s not yours! I played it and wrote it in my stave notebook by ear!! I didn’t know I was capable of do that LOL.
And OMFG…. everything you said about Edward writing a song for Bella woahhh. I never thought about it that way! That’s true!!!! You are really good at this and I’m happy you are not the kind of guy who bash everything about Twilight.
And yeah ‘gimme the CD!’ <– tell me this “contest” is not only for guys :/
“girls apologizing for reading my site”
WHAT THE HALE? IS THAT REALLY TRUE? HAHAHA… COME ON! IT’S A WEBSITE. For Edward’s sake… I can’t even believe they apologize for that.
hehehehehe to the book cover thats great. I love all your pictures they crack me up. Keep up the good work Kaleb its great to have a guys insight into the book, an intelligent guys insight into the book i shoudl say. Feel free to gift me with the CD, i think I should get it cause im in Australia!!! Haha
Luv ya Kaleb
I do not find you hilarious at all Mr. Nation. And since you have absolutely no sense of humor and are as dry as a desert, for I would know, I live in one, there is only one possible question to give to you.
Will you marry me? Of course you will, you always give me what I want. HA!
‘gimme the CD!’
just in case I win (LOL!!!!) and you have to send me an email LOL I prefer this one from this comment LOL. *dream, it doesn’t cost a thing*
Haha, no sleep for you eh? Sorry about that!
Can’t wait for your next vid! Oh, and I’m going to be in Seattle this weekend! Yay! Except, like you, I’m not taking a taxi. Boo….But I am going to beautiful British Columbia! Yay!
Ooh, can I ask, will you be giving out free soundtracks from your book on here? Or another one of your many sites perhaps? Tell me! ‘Cause I love your music. I’m a instrumental person. And Classical, and Vocal, and World.
Oh, and sorry to disagree with you and a few other people, but I am not a piano person, I like it, but it has to be accompanied with something else. More powerful. It’s too bland to me. But I do love the organ and the harpsichord if that counts as in the same family. Does it? I don’t know.
GIMME THE CD.
just kidding. no seriously I`m on :]
But again you completely understand what we look for in a realtionship. Thank you for putting up this new chapter, I am expecting my boyfriend to be taking your comments and putting them into our conversation tomorrow like they were his.
Ohhh Kaleb! what a wonderful way to described Twilight, I have to agree with most of the comments before mine, the “book for dummies” is brilliant. Kaleb where were you 10 years ago when I got married? hahahaha would you take a divorcee hahahahaha keep up the good work.
*waiting for e-mail with the shipment information*
Hahaha. Yeah, having fun with commas and sentences great.
And “gimme the CD” so that my boyfriend can listen to it (alright alright, I’d like it too). He’s just starting to read it because I forc–I mean…asked him to do so. =D
Great review on the chapter, I love seeing other peoples input on the chapters. Your reviews also help me remember the first book since it’s been awhile since I last read it (okay it was actually a month ago).
Looking forward to your new videos.
Oh yeah and “gimmie the CD!”
I think the song for your book is quite beautiful, did you really compose that??? LOL
Now that you have just met the Cullens, do you have a favorite??? You will get to know thwm better later.
Isn’t EDWARD the absolute BEST…All I have to do is think about him and tears fill my eyes!!!
FORGOT….CD PLEASE…PRETTY PLEASE…
Found this site yesterday and I’ve enjoyed your comments on each of the chapters. I’m right there with you, Edward at the piano playing for Bella and revealing that the lullaby is for her was one of the most telling scenes. Great to see the book from a guy perspective.
CDs make me happy, especially new ones. 🙂
Oh, one of “those” chapters… And you’re reading the most funny (one of my favourites because of its originality in a certain way) next. Looking forward=) And just to say: I’m reading the book right now too. Only I’m re-reading it. It’s a weird experience to read it again after some time. It’s not the same as the first time, you analyze a lot.
Oh, and Mitch Hansen rules. I listen to him on his myspace sometimes. Very subtle melodies. Lovely.
Thanks for making this website, you make us laugh=)Oh, and your official site is just as good. Hope I will be able to read your book someday (not being american. being czech). I totally understand when you’re talking about writer’s writing=)
lol very insightful Keleb. Though, i think Rosalie would have put Bella in the dugeon; Esme’s too nice to do that.
And I listened to your song. Very beautiful. lol at the very end I was actually tapping my finger along with certain notes, keeping the time. Well done Keleb.
Huggles!
PS- I’m trying to teach a little girl I’m babysitting not to say ‘gimme’ so instead of saying “gimme that CD please” I’m saying: Can I please be put into drawing for the CD, I would love to have it. Please and thankie.
Kaleb, I love that book! If there is any way I could get a hold of it, please tell me. That would be soo cool.
P.S. gimme that CD please
gimme the cd!!!
haha. I love to read your reactions for each chapter in twilight! It makes me realize that there is more meaning in the chapters. anyways if you see in stephenie meyer’s song playlist for twilight, she has the piano song title for which edward plays for bella
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc
Once again great commentary! The “How to dress when your vampire sweetheard takes you home to meet his vampire family” guide, and that last bit about Esme and the dungeon… I laughed so hard!
As for what you said about the two missing vampires… I don’t think Rosalie and Emmett were gone because they were told to stay away, I think it was more by (Rosalie’s) choice, as Edward hints at. But you’ll get to know them too later.
I’d love to see the piano scene in the movie as well. Did you know that Robert Pattinson has been challenged to write his version of the lullaby for the movie? It remains to see if they’ll decide to use it, but it would be cool it they did.
And I’d love to win the CD!
The “for Dummies” Book is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! Love your site!!
The for dummies book…. i wouldn’t be suprised if the make one, they have like, one for every little random thing. lol
And i’m really happy!!! I finally got my Dad to start Reading Twilight!!! He travels a lot and took my copy of it
And i really like CD’s
your site is fantastic. Its so interesting to not only get a guys perspective on the books but an indepth study of each chapter.
p.s. i love cd’s
One of the reasons you’re awesome, is because you can actually say why we love Edward, and all the rest of Twilight. Whenever someone asks me, I always blank out and can’t say anything other than “He’s EDWARD CULLEN!!!!” (Plus many ear shattering squees, hyper bouncing and swooning)
Thank you for the awesome sight!
Now Gimme That CD!
You really made my day! I love your posts!
PS, Give me the CD!
*woot*
Again, very insightful interpretation of chapter 15. This is one of my favorite chapters because it also shows a bit of Edward’s vulnerability. The simple fact that he’s introducing Bella to his family and opening his vampire soul to her through his music is both touching and loving. He trust’s Bella with a part of him that is not solid, but ever-changing and unpredictable.Very beautiful chapter on Meyer’s part and very good summary on yours! I’m glad that you enjoyed it!
Collette
p.s. i kinda do want the cd!!!
if i need to be more explicit: GIMME THAT CD!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I’m done now, I get a little excited, the only thing I’ve ever won was a pink bunny beanie baby…pathetic I know…
Can I still win the cd if I criticize your blog?
well I’m going for it anyways
“we writers” “as a writer” blah blah blah… It makes you sound a bit pretentious. I’m glad that you are a great writer, you really are, but I like to imagine that Kaleb is a down to earth guy. A guy who can joke around and post his face onto funny pictures but that is taken away every time I see “we writers.”
Love that For Dummies book! I think it’s pretty obvious that girls can read this site, too, considering that an overwhelming majority of the comments are by girls. Or at least the names given in front of the comments are girl’s names… You should encourage the guy readers of the site to comment more, so we know they’re here! Or maybe that’s what they don’t want…:) Anyway, love the site! And I would also like to get that CD!!
@Roki #37: Do I sound pretentious? I’m trying to make fun of myself and how crazy writers like me are. If other people think I am sounding pretentious, I’ll stop talking about writers.
And I know for a fact, nowhere and to no one in my life, have I said that I am a ‘great writer’. It’s something I do not do. You will not find me saying it in a single place on any of my sites either.
Ha! I totally love this site, it’s how I got my brother and guy friend to read Twilight. Now they’re both hooked. Thanks Kaleb!
I always enjoy all of your comments about writers. More often than not, they are all true. I know this personally because I had many crazy language arts teachers in high school… and I’m not exactly sane myself. ^^ I am a self proclaimed logophile. I don’t think there are such things as sane logophiles.
Isn’t discovering what so many girls see in Edward Cullen part of your ‘research’ that your do by reading the book. Given that, I wouldn’t be surprised if more than half of the people who look at this site are girls. I don’t know about others, but I love a good discussion. It’d be nice to discuss these books with a guy, just to get a different perspective. Most girls have the same idea about the book for the most part.
One more thing, gimmie the CD please. ^_^
Oh crap, I forgot to mention:
I’d like the CD!
I would love a CD!
Having recently discovered your site, I’ve been greatly enjoying following your reading of Twilight. Kuddos on both your insightfulness and excellent use of humor!
I agree, you do “just get it”. Spot on!
Also, as a pianist, I know exactly what you’re saying about music. There’s a quote I LOVE, though I have no idea who said it, “Music speaks the beauty that words cannot express.”
P.S. Jim Brickman is one of my favorites!
P.P.S. Count me in (for the CD)!
P.P.P.S. I enjoy hearing your writer insights! So, please don’t stop just because of one comment! I find it fascinating! You point out things that I would never have noticed or thought about. I have never thought you were being pretentious at all!
wow im really amazed.. you really do… get it. i love that you truly understand it
and you make it funny that dummies book was definitely the funniest ive seen so far good job!
oh.. and GIMME THAT CD!!!!
i forgot… I love hearing what you say from a writers’ pov dont stop!!! i dont think you sound pretentious at all. dont stop because of one comment
Kaleb, You ARE a wonderful writer! I enjoy your site very much and without the help of your Twilightguy stories and such, I would not have convinced my dad to read Twilight! :-p When he finishes the book I really want him to send his story to you because it is funny. Thanks for another great post! (GIMME THAT CD!…please 😉
I agree! Edward is not only perfect but hes sincere and cares! Of course women like him for that. Nobody wants a phony.
You, Kaleb Nation, are amazing that you actually get it. Kudos to your intuitive-ness. And as you mentioned, “GIMME THAT CD!!”