A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Twilight: Chapter 20 (Impatience)

Β The song for this chapter is Snakes On A Plane by Cobra Starship


I mentioned in my last two chapter posts that I had a goal of reaching 1,000 Youtube subscribers for my channel before the end of the summer. Out of anyone in the world, I should have known what would result. Within two days the goal was reached, and what is more, I’m nearing the 1,050th subscriber as I write. You people are truly amazing and I can’t thank you enough!

While on the topic of numbers, I have leapt right into chapter 20 and realize that there are only four left before I finish the book. How fitting of a title for this chapter! I seems to describe the very feeling I detect being aimed at me:

email I got Monday (GL– I promise I’ll still reply):

Hey Kaleb a.k.a. Twilight Guy! Alrite, I just have one thing to say…CAN U HURRY IT UP ALREADY? Look, me and (almost) everyone i know have been waiting PATIENTLY for you to get to New Moon, which is my FAVORITE of them ALL. (…) so, you did two chapters last time…how about…FIVE next time?


Sheesh! In Chapter 20, the obvious question that has been lurking in the back of my mind is finally voiced by Bella: ‘…how do you become a vampire?’

Alice’s answer gave me some insight into why Edward was originally avoiding Bella. If the transformation is so powerful and painful, he would more than likely not want Bella to experience it. He seems to have wanted to distance himself from her, though his feelings for Bella were too strong for him to leave. This leaves a number of questions in my mind, as to if there are any alternatives, or if there is a way to reverse the procedure. Or I might just be reading much too deep into it…

When it came to the part where they were describing what was happening with James, I was suddenly caught by the line where he got onto an airplane. A thirsty vampire on an airplane full of people is not a very palatable thought. After all, I am claustrophobic enough without having to glance over my shoulder every few minutes to make sure the person behind me isn’t sniffing the air or looking at me like a tasty snack. If anything, there should at least be added security measures for vampires wanting to board airplanes, maybe even a completely separate entrance and seating arrangements.


Welcome to Vamp-Air

The elaborate plans weaved by the Cullens only make them that much cooler in my mind. Not only have they traversed the country in different directions in order to lead these other vampires off, they are keeping up with people they must protect in multiple cities.

Also, the entrance of the ballet hall was a delightful twist. Like everyone here, I have also seen the trailer for the upcoming film. While reading the book, I have been waiting anxiously to see where that scene with the mirrors comes in. Sadly the trailer served as a partial spoiler, as I know something will happen there and I’m on the lookout, though I haven’t a clue how they’ll get there, and for which I am very ready to see in one of the next chapters.


-Remaining posts for this week will be shorter than usual: I have two college exams. On the eve of June 28th, however, it all ends for 2 months, and you should be able to hear my cheer around the world.

– Stephenie’s Breaking Dawn events: mostly sold out within hours. It appears (according to Stephenie’s site) that Seattle is still open, though I searched for tickets and it says they’re out. I immediately went to eBay to see how much these are going for. Let’s just say you can get eight Hannah Montana tickets in exchange for two Stephenie Meyer. Or, a pair of Christina Aguilera’s pants. So, those who got them: they’re worth far more than their weight in gold. Hold on to them tight!

– For those of you keeping up with the various snacks I have enjoyed whilst reading chapters of Twilight, go ahead and add ‘nachos’ to the list. That makes lasagna, pizza, popcorn, ice-cream, sandwiches and nachos. Any special snacks I should try as I near the final chapters of Twilight?

– For those who have scruples against reading FAQ pages, and continue to friend me on Facebook: thanks so much, but I’m sorry, I still can’t unless I know you personally. My Myspace is so much better πŸ™‚

– Big announcement coming soon.



90 Responses

  1. You are the biggest TEASE.
    I can’t wait to hear this BIG ANNOUNCEMENT though.
    Makes me wonder what in the world could it possibly be?! AND who is THEY that won’t let you say anything? Will terrible things happen to you if it happens to slip out before you are aloud to announce it? Are they a gang,like the MAFIA I suppose?
    ugh, this is torture!

  2. I could get all mad and chew you out for that comment about the announcement, but that seems to already have been taken care of.
    but I do agree with Melinda, and i want to know who THEY are.

    just cause i can!


  3. hmm…. just about “just cause i can” it was supposed to say “spammmmmmmm”.
    but it didnt show up… sad.


    P.S.- HA! this really is spam!

  4. It took me following Stephanie Meyer’s advice and reading New Moon twice to fully appreciate the novel, but Eclipse is my favorite. I’ve read it three times and am casually flipping through it again. I simply love so many of the scenes and the action. There is a lot of character developement in the book, always a big plus.

  5. Yes I agree with that person up there even though New Moon was my least favorite I can’t wait to see your reactions to it!!!!!! Woo! College exams will be over soon does that mean more updates?Oh while reading the Twilight series I usually munched on tortillas and cereal πŸ™‚

  6. I have to agree with Deja… New Moon was my least favorite. I pretty much read the book in fits of tears and headaches. I guess to a guy it will be a lot different, but still. I guess GL must be on TEAM JACOB, I can’t see any other explanation for NM being their favorite book.

  7. I have some snack ideas that are really good!

    -Pocky ( Its a Japanese bread stick- like thing covered in chocolate)

    -Cerel ( I have eaten that a few times)

    -Potatoe chips


    mayba cotton candy? or Starburst..Mmmm…


  8. Kaleb, I LOVE reading your blog! =]
    And I have a suggestion for a new snack.
    Two words.
    Fried. Pickles.
    lol try it and tell me what you think.

  9. OK, you know it just has to be said that the eyebrows in allllll of your pictures are hilarious, absolutely top notch! You Rock, and I agree.. get a move on or you will have to wait to read breaking dawn! And that will be worse than most water tortures, including that one where they drip water on your head until you go insane… yeah worse than that one!

  10. I find it interesting that you are reading a book about “vegetarian” vampires and all of your snack choices contain dairy products (except if you eat butter-less popcorn or a sandwich without cheese). Are you developing a sympathy for the vampires?

  11. I snacked on Starburst and washed them down with hot tea while reading Twilight.

    New Moon has some really great quotes in it. I can’t wait till you get to that one and Eclipse. I want to know what you’ll think of them.

  12. Word of warning: SM wants everyone to read New Moon twice. When I read it the first time I hated it. It’s still my least favorite, but I just got done re-reading it and I don’t hate it quite so much. So, read it twice.
    But Eclipse is so much better, can’t wait till you get to it!!!!!!!

  13. WOWWWWWWWWWWW! Uhm, why must you keep us all waiting eagerly (As in refreshing the page every five seconds to see if your ‘big announcement’ has been posted) and near foaming at the mouth? Keeping suspense is better =] And I don’t know if anyone else is doing this but I’m keeping up with Twilight with you =] It’s fun, but you must have a lot of willpower to be able to stop at the end of a chapter. When you finished 18 and 19, I was like ‘YES! TWO CHAPTERS TIME!’ and when I was halfway through chapter 20 I thought, “CRAP! But….I DON’T WANNA STOP!”
    Off to go finish it,

  14. I think you should eat chips or chocolate for the end…. anyway have you news about lasagna burglers??

  15. My biggest pet peave EVER is when someone dangles a bone in front of your face! but it’s all good. I’ll be patient since you have been patient with many obsessors of Twilight. Here is the ultimate question: Are you now a fan? (finally?)

  16. I don’t want to spoil anything in New Moon, but I will say that it’s generally the least favorite book because Jacob has a pretty big role and everyone on Team Edward skips over those parts. Assuming that you’re not in love with Edward, you won’t have that problem. I agree that NM has some very funny lines.

  17. For your list of snacks to eat whilst reading Twilight. The last few chapters, where the Hunt happens, are pretty intense so my friend recomended CARROTS! Of course, this may cause your veggie box in your fridge to…cease of it’s contents. But carrots DO help, I should know…

  18. I have just recently started to read through all your chapter reviews and I just wanted to think they are hilarious. And also, I’m shocked every week to see that we have the same exact music taste. Let me tell you, I’ve known every single song and at one point, I’m pretty sure each one has been a favorite of mine. For example, “Snakes on a Plane,” I made a goal of learning the rap at the end during one boring class. I’m now proud to say I know it by heart. Keep it up Kaleb, I think it’s great that you are doing this because boys need to understand that they do have estrogen in them- most of them are just too “manly” to admit it. Can’t wait to see your reactions to more surprises in the future. I hope you’re having fun! πŸ™‚

  19. You’re an absolute legend!
    I did enjoy a nice cup of hot green tea whilst reading Twilight!

  20. Ok I do enjoy reading your post and the pictures which have me constant giggles throughout the day. I was wondering though, when you reach a certain part in the book about a certain situation find this song and play it while reading that chapter, its chapter 23.

  21. Silly me, i forgot to give you the song!!!!!

    It’s called Three Wishes by The Pierces

  22. ok for the snacks either parmeasean goldfish or peanut butter filled pretzals from trader joes yum! happy reading!

  23. I think i will reread the books with you for some moral support
    Go Kaleb!

    For a snack? I got hooked onto the mini fig newtons. They’re Delightful!

  24. Hey!
    My fav. book is Eclipse. I hope you finish the book quickly! New Moon might be more of a drag for you. I had to read it twice before fully understanding the book. I don’t like eating while reading Twilight in fear of spilling something on it! I would recomend chocolate though… HURRY UP KALEB!! I SUPPORT THE TWILIGHT GUY!

  25. Try choclate raisins!!! Dont get melted choccy on the pages though cos that sucks big tome :->

  26. That song is terrible. Twilight and Eclipse are the best. Blah…Blaaaah…….BBBBBBLLLAHHH!!!

  27. Kaleb
    You’re totally the best!
    This is my first comment on your blog but i’ve been reading.
    you’re pretty awesome!

  28. as far as Twilight snackage is concerned, consider the obvious: blood.

    if you aren’t into that . . . you could always go for the even more obvious- as in an apple (from right on the cover.)

    ; )

  29. I found that for the last few chapters of the book, all I could eat was saltines, and all I could drink was crystal light. I have no idea why. You should try them though.

  30. I don’t know how people can say New Moon is their favorite. I was bored with a lot of the tribal stuff. My favorite is Eclipse.

    HEY KALEB.. do you ever read the “outtakes” for Twilight on Stephenie’s website? There is one that use to be in this chapter.

  31. obviously, marshmallows.
    and tacos.
    and brownies.
    and chocolate chip cookies.
    and apples! (i want an apple every time i look at the cover)
    and any type of food in general, as long as it doesn’t involve tuna fish. do NOT eat tuna fish near The Book. that’s sacrilege.

    ummmm… yeah. i think that whole passenger check-in would TOTALLY blow their cover, if that weren’t obvious enough already… hmmm. i’m trying to think of something witty or interesting to say in order to make you reply to this. and you know what i’ve come up with? n-o-t-h-i-n-g. *sigh*

  32. Oh wow… just imagining a vampire on an airplane. It’d be like “Snakes on a Plane”, but it’d be a vampire. Which is worse…
    Ugh, I can’t believe the Cullens came up with such a stupid plan! He’s a tracker! A tracker! Meanwhile they’re going around saying, “It’s ok, just because he’ll never give up and has a talent for tracking doesn’t mean he’ll FIND you if we fly you across the country.”
    Seriously, imagine if they had just stuck together! Seven vampires! They could have all gone to Phoenix if need be. But no, instead they split up. *shakes head at sheer vampiric stupidity*
    I can’t believe they went with Bella’s plan…

  33. I don't know why, but i picture G.L. looking like Garrett, introduced i think in breaking dawn. Either Garrett or James. either way, a guy w/ a ponytail.

  34. I don't know why, but i picture G.L. looking like Garrett, introduced i think in breaking dawn. Either Garrett or James. either way, a guy w/ a ponytail.

  35. http://www.cafepress.com/werewolves1
    When the Twilight DVD came out, I went to the midnight party. I watch the movie with a glass of cranberry juice. (Because it's red.) Anyway, how does someone become a vampire? Before I was a vampire fan, I just assumed that if a person gets bit, that means you'll be a vampire. I never thought about venom before. Like a venomus snake, or spider. It makes sence. Now that I am a vampire fan, I've read other vampire books, and watched vampire tv shows. They don't compare. These vampires can bite and drink human blood, and stop whenever they want. The craving dosen't seem to be quite as powerful as the Twilight vampires. Also other vampires can bite without changing a person into a vampire. It's a bigger, more complicated process that dosen't even really make sence to me. No other vampire has ever mentioned venom before, not that I'm aware of anyway.

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