A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

TwilightGuys Report: Mom’s Dating Edward AND Jacob?


I’m the only guy living in my house. You can probably see how that can be a problem. I live with three of my sisters, my mom, and my aunt.

All of them love Twilight.

I was watching TV one day, and i overheard my mom on the phone.

“Edward is Just amazing! I think i love him!” she said, followed by various giggles.

I listened to the rest of the conversation and i was appalled. Towards the end of her phone call, she started talking about a ‘Jacob’. Is mom dating TWO guys?

It wasn’t only the fact that i thought she was cheating on two guys that horrified me, it was that she had only divorced my dad three months earlier. How could she possibly start dating TWO guys only three months after the divorce?

This bothered me for days. I barely talked to her anymore. I thought she was a monster!

I was about to go and confront her about it, when i passed my sister Hayley’s room. She had her friends over for a sleep over that night.

“He seems so sweet! Ah! I love him!” She told her friends.

I smirked. This was a great opportunity to bug my sister in the future, so, naturally, i took it. I put my ear up to her door. (I know, I know. I seem to eavesdrop a lot don’t I?)

“I can’t decide whether i like Edward or Jacob better. They’re both just so hott!”

Mom had told my little sister about Edward and Jacob, and she didn’t tell ME? And, whats worse, my little sister thought they were HOTT? I almost gagged. This was so wrong!!

So, i kept quiet for the rest of the day, until dinner came. Thats when i decided to tell mom about it.

I cleared my throut, then spoke up. “Mom?” I said, quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me you started dating again?”

“What?” She asked me.

“I mean, i really wouldn’t have minded if you started dating again, but you’re cheating on them?? I mean, come on, mom! And you told Hayley but not me?”

“What are you talking about, Bryan?”

How could she play dumb? “Edward and Jacob?” I asked.

Then, the whole table burst out laughing. Except for me, of course. Everyone laughed for about five minutes straight, with me just sitting there, staring at them in disbelief. Everytime one of them tried to say something, they’d all have another laughing fit.

Finally, when the all calmed down, Hayley spoke up. “She isn’t dating anyone, Stupid. Edward and Jacob are from Twilight.”

“What?” I was so confused.

“Ya know, Twilight?” My mom continued. “The book we’ve been swooning over for the past couple of weeks?”
I felt so dumb. I spent a week and a half, worrying about my mom, because of a book. But, her conversation had sounded so real.

I wanted to find out what was so special about ‘Edward’ And ‘Jacob’ that all the girls seemed to ‘love’ so much, so i snuck into Hayley’s room that night and started reading Twilight. I read half of the book that night, and the other half the next day. I’m hooked! I just went out and bought New Moon today.”

Submitted by Bryan G

Probably one of the funniest Twilight-confusions ever πŸ˜€ . He gets a free t-shirt from TwilightTeez.com for his story!



63 Responses

  1. Haha! That was funny! That poor guy…lol It makes me laugh how confused people get when they don’t know anything about Twilight… XD

  2. omg tat so funni!! the guy must have been so embarrased!! poor him i would have been embarrased to death!!

  3. i don’t know what’s worse… his embarrassment, or that we girls have reached a level of conversation about edward and jacob where we can cause confusion like this. i sure got a laugh from this though.

  4. I feel kind of sorry for him having to go through that embarassment and all, but if he hadn’t he might never had read Twilight.

  5. aww, that’s kinda lame, but in a very, very cute way. and it was funny.
    I would have been so embarrassed… I really don’t like having people laugh at me. But then again, I got strange looks all the time because I read Twilight before New Moon came out and, hence, before it got popular, so, yeah.


    P.S. – well, usually people think I’m a freak anyways. whatever. :]

  6. ome i was so close to bursting into laughter and thats a bad thing cuz its 2:13 and ppl r sleeeping …….poor guy though

  7. The poor guy. . . I can relate (I’m a guy, just to let everyone know). . . If I hadn’t read Twilight, I would have felt very left out when I was talking to some of my friends. . . All of the friends I have (the friends that are girls) talk about The Twilight Saga for hours. . . and I mean that more literally than I can convey. Anywho, it’s stories like these that make me feel that I won’t be the only guy at the Breaking Dawn midnight release. . .

  8. i think most entertaining one yet. though, i understand his confusion, my brother said something similar once when me and my friends were chatting about J and E. only, he hasn’t/doesn’t want to read the books. :.(

  9. That probably has to be one of THE best Twilight confusion stories I’ve ever heard of haha poor guy but im glad he read the books!! Good luck with new moon…haha

  10. Haha, this is absolutely hilarious! There’s been so many confusing stories for the guys, everything that they’ve had to go through and question because of the ladies’ obsession with Edward, Jacob, etc…this one tops it all though.;)

    & we’ve got another fan!

  11. ROFL! The hilarious thing about this is that I’m sure I’ve confused some of my friends (who still refuse to read Twilight, thought I’m still working on hooking them) the same way! XD

  12. hahahaha… that was hilarius!!!
    and it’s good you like the books,
    ’cause they’re awsome!!

  13. lol That was funny. My sister is sort of hooked, but my mother has no time to read. I made my dad promise to read Twilight, I think he’s in chapter 14, but he doesn’t like it so far. (I guess he does only have one daughter checking fan sites everyday and begging for a drive to the midnight kickoff… O_o)

  14. I think this is my favorite Twilight Guys Report yet!! Poor guy…that must have been torture!! The story has a great ending though…another guy welcomed into the Twilight Fandom!!

    Twilighters are taking over the world!!

  15. Oh man!
    I would be red with embarrassment if I were to be in his situation..
    But Bryan, great to know that you learned the truth and are now on the Twilight Wagon with the rest of us!

  16. Wow… that would be awkward if you hadn’t heard of Twilight and overheard your mom gushing over two guys named Edward and Jacob. That’d be… creepy.

  17. This has got to be my favorite story so far! That’s fantastic that he had the guts to confront his mom about it; and it all ended so well! πŸ™‚ Awesome.

  18. ohh poor guy… that’s really funny tho. Definetly something to think about how we girls turn Jacob and Edward into real people. My mom doesn’t read it, so i’m the only one in the house.

  19. Hahahaha!!!
    That was the funniest story yet!! I feel bad that he got embaressed in front of his family, but it was cute!!

    what makes this sadder is that me and my friends have conversations just like that whether Jacob or Edward is better for Bella, or which one we like better! Haha! πŸ™‚

  20. What a cutie! It’s hilarious! He didn’t have a clue. I would so make fun him forever if that was my family

  21. i would have died of laughter right then and there if my brother said that…
    but my brother knows that i talk to my friends about fictional characters, so it would never happen…

  22. It’s the best way to get someone to read a book, if you and your friends start talking about it around someone who hasn’t read the book. Fuuny situations. (like when my friend or I randomly states a quote such as, “You’re EXACTLY my brand of heroin.” We get the strangest looks….)

  23. LMAO

    Oh god. Poor guy! I bet he was so embarrassed. If I was his sister, I would never let him live it down! LOL

  24. lol! that was HILARIOUS! oh man…i love these twilight guy stories….this story in particular just brightened up my day!

  25. HA! That’s what you get when you eavesdrop! My brother kinda made that mistake. ‘Cept it was only me. He said this after my phone call with my cousin’d cousin who is a twilight fan “How can you love both of those people when you’re dating Brandon?” and I’m like “Who? I’m dating Brandon, only him.” Then he says “Well who are these Edward and Jacob people huh?” and I said “Well in the japanese Twilight book number something there was a pic of Jacob and he was hot. And Edward is HOTTER and SWEET and a VAMPIRE and MORE. Plus it’s a book” I tried making my brother read Twilight but he says he doesn’t want to become one of THEM. Who are THEM anyways?

  26. Sorry but I made an error in my last comment “cousin’s cousin” there fixed it…. I think well that’s what it’s suppoesed to say

  27. *Whew* I laughed so hard when I read that, poor Bryan!

    But good for him for reading the book and not dismissing it as “just another teen romance.”

  28. OMG! I was in hysterics when I read that! Haha, poor kid. (It is pretty funny though =P)

  29. YEAH!!!!! ANOTHER TWILIGHT GUY….How awesome IS that!!!!
    Recently I got my cousin Zach into the series, he locked himself in a room for three days and read all three!!!! Now his whole family is obsessed…YEAH!!!

  30. awww, poor Bryan!
    i know if i did that my mom wouldn’t let me live it down!!! lol πŸ˜€ my guy friends all think were nuts when they hear our Edwsard vs. Jacob debates. my heart goes out 2 u dude, good luck living it down!

  31. Ok that made me laugh sooooooo hard I’m crying. I know there is real pain behind there…but he took it so well. And now another twilight guy!

  32. Thanks for a MUCH needed laugh, Kaleb! This one had me in tears from laughing so hard.
    And it does my heart good to see another guy bitten by Twilight.

  33. oh my goodness! that poor guy! i hate it when embarrassing stuff like that happens. i did laugh, i’ll addmit. but i felt bad doing it. I’m sorry. at least he likes twilight now!

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