A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

TwilightGuys Report: Mom’s Dating Edward AND Jacob?


I’m the only guy living in my house. You can probably see how that can be a problem. I live with three of my sisters, my mom, and my aunt.

All of them love Twilight.

I was watching TV one day, and i overheard my mom on the phone.

“Edward is Just amazing! I think i love him!” she said, followed by various giggles.

I listened to the rest of the conversation and i was appalled. Towards the end of her phone call, she started talking about a ‘Jacob’. Is mom dating TWO guys?

It wasn’t only the fact that i thought she was cheating on two guys that horrified me, it was that she had only divorced my dad three months earlier. How could she possibly start dating TWO guys only three months after the divorce?

This bothered me for days. I barely talked to her anymore. I thought she was a monster!

I was about to go and confront her about it, when i passed my sister Hayley’s room. She had her friends over for a sleep over that night.

“He seems so sweet! Ah! I love him!” She told her friends.

I smirked. This was a great opportunity to bug my sister in the future, so, naturally, i took it. I put my ear up to her door. (I know, I know. I seem to eavesdrop a lot don’t I?)

“I can’t decide whether i like Edward or Jacob better. They’re both just so hott!”

Mom had told my little sister about Edward and Jacob, and she didn’t tell ME? And, whats worse, my little sister thought they were HOTT? I almost gagged. This was so wrong!!

So, i kept quiet for the rest of the day, until dinner came. Thats when i decided to tell mom about it.

I cleared my throut, then spoke up. “Mom?” I said, quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me you started dating again?”

“What?” She asked me.

“I mean, i really wouldn’t have minded if you started dating again, but you’re cheating on them?? I mean, come on, mom! And you told Hayley but not me?”

“What are you talking about, Bryan?”

How could she play dumb? “Edward and Jacob?” I asked.

Then, the whole table burst out laughing. Except for me, of course. Everyone laughed for about five minutes straight, with me just sitting there, staring at them in disbelief. Everytime one of them tried to say something, they’d all have another laughing fit.

Finally, when the all calmed down, Hayley spoke up. “She isn’t dating anyone, Stupid. Edward and Jacob are from Twilight.”

“What?” I was so confused.

“Ya know, Twilight?” My mom continued. “The book we’ve been swooning over for the past couple of weeks?”
I felt so dumb. I spent a week and a half, worrying about my mom, because of a book. But, her conversation had sounded so real.

I wanted to find out what was so special about ‘Edward’ And ‘Jacob’ that all the girls seemed to ‘love’ so much, so i snuck into Hayley’s room that night and started reading Twilight. I read half of the book that night, and the other half the next day. I’m hooked! I just went out and bought New Moon today.”

Submitted by Bryan G

Probably one of the funniest Twilight-confusions ever 😀 . He gets a free t-shirt from TwilightTeez.com for his story!



63 Responses

  1. haha thats funny. i would’ve been so embarassed if that was me. thats probably my favourite report aswell haha.
    that is all =’P

  2. Ok… that was hilarious!! I can see where you’d get confused, though!

    One point… silly people. There’s no choice!! Team Edward all the way XD

  3. well, that’s awkward.

    this is almost as embarrasing as the guy who thought his girlfried wanted to break up with him because she liked the new kid named Edward…
    these reports make me laugh

  4. Wow, poor guy. That week and a half must have been really hard for him… wow, its odd to think of all the confusion girls have caused from talking about Edward and Jacob…

  5. He HE HE but bringing in the sister being one of the sisters mentioned in a previous twiguy report (the one before this one) take it easy and next time talk to the sister before your mom in the great workings of Bella’s mind we have seen that girls are naturally more perspective than boys also if you hear twilight just listen for Edward Jacob Bella any of those key words and you will automatically know to either converse or tune out. Feel Sorry for you though, almost as sorry as I felt for my self during my story.


    Thats hilarious. lol

    I would so laugh so hard. ahar har

    what ?
    HAHHAHA oh my gawd.

    thats funny XD

  7. Oh man! That’s priceless! It reminds me of the time my friend and I were doing our in-car driving while having a conversation on Twilight. It took our instructor an hour to realize we weren’t talking about real people!

  8. i feel bad for him but that was so funny! something similar happened to my bff. we were talking about edward and her bf over heard us and accused her of cheating on him with “this edward guy”. it didnt help that all we could do was laugh…

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