A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Eclipse: Chapter 25 (Mirror)

The song for this chapter is Don’t Turn Around by Plumb


Pardon me whilst I dodge your tomatoes and lettuce: I’ll mutter my apologies later for lack-o’-postin. I could continue apologizing for late posts, but the way it’s looking for the near future, my posts will be consistently inconsistent until Summer break. In fact, this week (March 5 and 6) I will be in Chicago, Illinois, at the offices of my publishers, for marketing talks (which, I assure you, will be more of fun than work for me). This means I most likely won’t post much this week as to actual blogs: though don’t be surprised if I have some updates from the hotel (perhaps, dare I say, a short BlogTV?).

But, I still can’t keep myself from reading the next chapter any longer: even if it is midnight right now, and I am slightly loopy. This could make for a rather entertaining, half-conscious review…

Me at the moment

Where we left off, Bella had just received a wonderful gift from Edward in the form of Victoria’s head rolling at her feet. There are few people in this world who have had this experience, and I limit that to those of medieval times who happened to stand a bit too close to the guillotines. Lucky for Bella, there is no blood, so I’m imagining it’s pretty much just a clunky old head, much like C-3PO’s in Star Wars. I will cease my descriptions and analogies here, before everyone reading my site dashes for the nearest garbage can.

It is so funny that vampires burn with purple smoke. I am immediately reminded of a scene in an old television film with a soothsayer, who cast powder into a campsite fire and made billows of purple smoke erupt in the faces of the terrified knights. What chemical causes purple smoke? Is there something in a vampire’s body that makes this happen: perhaps the same thing that causes their skin to glitter rainbow-style?

Not one to give up on answering this question, I took it to the most reliable source in the world, from which I receive all answers to my life’s questions:


No luck with that one, obviously.

I notice that immediately after Edward realizes the Volturi are nearby, he begins to speak in very long sentences: almost muttering, perhaps. It’s an easy way to tell that underneath his assurances to Bella, he’s actually quite nervous as to what’s about to happen. I can’t ever remember Edward filling nearly half a page with his own babbling before, so he’s quite obviously upset by a quick change of plans.

It was warming to see that Carlisle treated Jacob Black, when barely a few months before I doubt they were even going to come within 900 feet of each other. As has been happening consistantly in the past few weeks between Forks and La Push, this is simply another surprising part of the chain of events that are perhaps weakening the anger between the werewolves and the vampires. I also totally want somebody to make a t-shirt that says ‘I’ve never been to veterinarian school’ and put a picture of a werewolf on it. Just sayin…hint hint, Cafepress minions.

Jane is such a terrifying little monster: it almost causes me pain to think of what she’s doing, even to someone like a vampire who desperately wants to kill Bella. Jane has a complete disregard for the pain of others, even to the point that after Edward tells her that Bree will answer questions, she continues to torture her mind, almost simply for the sake of her own amusement. Does she have an obsession with causing pain that those surrounding her should be informed of before offering their services? Luckily for Bella, her crazy mind totally wrecks Jane’s powers. I would imagine behind Jane’s constant smile:


she is actually thinking:


due to Bella’s wonderful talent at pwning her abilities.

Besides, I doubt it would have taken much for the band of Cullens to keep Bree stable: at least long enough for her to calm down, and perhaps accept their way of life. But still, Jane gives the order to tear Bree to pieces, and that’s it. It might even be more comforting if Jane had a monstrous temper, but she simply has a lack of any regard for the pain of others, which makes for a very frightening person indeed.

Question For The Comments: What do you think it would have been like if Bree had joined the Cullen coven? What power do you think she might have had (use your imagination, since you don’t get to see much of her).


– Yesterday was the Branniversary: exactly 6 years after I started writing my book! Plus, I announced the huge news of who is illustrating my book cover. Fun times for me at least 😛 .

– Summit has added a NEW contest where YOU could have a part in New Moon! Check it out here.

– The big Team Shari auctions have started, to benefit a TwilightMOM who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. The auction has loads of great stuff like Twicon Passes, and even items autographed by Stephenie Meyer! Check out their auction page here.

– BellaAndEdward.com just posted their interview with Solomon Trimble! I just sent in ten questions from the comments last week to his agent, so I should hear back with our own interview soon!

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83 Responses

  1. I remember purple smoke is caused by these silver balls (metal maybe?) and when heated they give out poisonous but pretty purple smoke. I just did it last friday!!! ugh and i cant remember.

  2. Kaleb,

    Once again, I enjoyed your blog. Good job! and Good Luck with the book!

    ok, I couldn’t help post a link to the purple smoke thing… I was a chemistry major in college for a while… but that is another story.

    How to make a smoke bomb:

    How to make colored flames:

    Thanks for the laughs and the insightful male perspective.

  3. I think that Bree would have had a power, if they had given her a chance. Do you remember the way newborns are supposed to be? Bloodseeking monsters with no conscious thought a lot of the time. Just a big mass of instinct.

    And yet when Carlisle asked for them to surrender and be spared, Bree, in the heat of battle, had retained enough conscious thought to do so. No one else did. That makes Bree unique. I’m certain Bree would have a power that had to do with selfcontrol, or something mental.

    That being given, I think that she could have joined the Cullens for a while.

    The family would have to temmporarily “split up”- they certainly couldn’t stay in Forks. Rosalie and Emmett could go “off to college” again, and no one would be ever the wiser. And Edward would have to stay in Forks, with Bella. Having to divide their attention between Bree and Bella might have been difficult, but it would have made for some good twists.

    I think Bree would be an easier newborn to deal with than Bella is expected to be at this point in the book. No comment on later speculations or events. =D

    By the way, I find the lizard picture quite disturbing. XD Where on earth did you find it? Or did you make it?

  4. Hmm… I never really though about Bree much, if I’m being honest. I think if she joined the Cullens, she would be… Okay. Perhaps another Esme? Not in the ‘sweetness and light and *cough*boring*cough*’ way, but in the more, she has control, but she’s not as exposed to society and has trouble (like Esme does in New Moon), but she wouldn’t be another Jasper. I think Jasper is underestimated slightly by everyone – if you think about it, he has attacked Bella once, when confronted with blood spilling from her body. Even Edward had trouble with that one…

    And I think Bree would have a subconscious power, like people subconsciously don’t want to attack her. I mean, she avoided all the Cullens until Carlisle offered a surrender – and while Jane is a complete sadist, knowing her history, I can see where she comes from. (Please don’t think I’m crazy!)

  5. isn’t it really weird the way the little cute people are the evilest? Like Jane, and like rabbits. No seriosly, ever seen two rabbits fight, SO SCARY.

  6. AHH! I LOVED the C3PO analogy.
    Bree, Bree, Bree… I just never thought of her as part of the Cullens. I had an instinct that she wouldn’t be one. I don’t know. Maybe… OH! An innocence-type-power thing! Cuz, my guess is that she would have the ability to save herself. Carlisle – even though he is like, way to compassionate for his own good – wanted to save her. And she didn’t die… Well, not until Jane, but that doesn’t count.
    And, speaking of Jane, I think she’s awesome! She’s mean and evil and sadistic and mean and evil and manipulating and… pretty much… well, one of my favorite characters in the entire series. (Please don’t think I’m insane!)

  7. Well, it would be cool if Bree could like, hypnotize people, but only for a short amount of time. Yeah, it is weird how the cutest are the evilest, take me for example, sort of…lol. I havn’t thought of Bree, much.

  8. there are actually 3 things that cause purple smoke….
    1) stale purple peeps (but only for a second)
    2) vampires (obviously!)
    and 3)i think theres some type of chemical reaction but i’m not sure…..i’ll ask my science teacher.

  9. Iodine gas is purple, but it causes you to go blind in a really horrible way (skip the rest of this if you’re squeamish): if you heat iodine till it evaporates, it can then get in behind your eyes and when it cools it forms crystals big enough to cause a lot of pain. My chemistry teacher described it as ‘a fantastic way to torture someone’. *shudders*

    Oh, and I actually looked for that on yahoo answers to count how many people said ‘burning vampires’ after this XD

  10. hahaha. i love you kaleb, your so funny!
    that lizard is realllly creepy and the cat is halirous. 🙂

    uhh that would totally stink if she was in the cullen clan cuz i wanna be in it!! =)

    hmm i dont really kno about the ability part.. im still thinking

  11. OMGGG today in chemistry, we talked about this compound, i think its like solid iodine or something, and if you drop it on the ground it like makes a poof of purple smoke. cuz its one of those things that can go strait from a solid to a gas. sooooo THATS HOW YOU GET PURPLE SMOKE! i bet vampires do have iodine in their body.

  12. My Purple Smoke Theory: As Stephenie has said the venom that runs through her Vampires veins also lubricates their skin and causes the sparkle effect. This agent is also highly flammable so perhaps whatever chemically makes up the lubricant causes purple smoke to arise from the burning vampire.

    Who cares about Bree? She had what 5mins of fame?

  13. I don’t know about you guys but I think it would be fresking awesome to be able to freeze time XD!!! But I really don’t think Bree would have any special powers there is nothing special about her.

  14. I don’t know about you guys but I think it would be fresking awesome to be able to freeze time XD!!! But I really don’t think Bree would have any special powers there is nothing special about her.

  15. I don’t know about you guys but I think it would be fresking awesome to be able to freeze time XD!!! But I really don’t think Bree would have any special powers there is nothing special about her.

  16. Ah Kaleb I just love you!
    Marry me?

    I love the pictures you add along with you posts because they are so true!

    I think if Bree were to join the Cullen coven there would have to be a lot more protection for Bella. I think that Edward would be on edge constantly. I think Bree’s power would be maybe something cool with her voice. I don’t know what exactly, whether it could be heard farther than any other vampire’s or if it could mimick things with it.

  17. If Bree had powers, she would have already had them. Powers don’t come from being a Cullen.

  18. You always have great music for these chapters! My checking account is protesting my purchases. lol.

  19. Just by the way, nitrogen triiodide does have purple smoke! Yeah! We’ve discovered what vampires are made of!

  20. I felt a large amount of sad for Bree. I have no idea for a power for her. Maybe she would fart rainbows…

  21. I loved the way stephanie killed of Bree because you got to see jane’s mean side, yes i know we all know shes mean, but it really showed that she didnt care about them. Oh and Bree’s power Hmmmmm i wonder…. oh maybe she would be able to control her self because like she surrenedered and the newborns are ment to have no self-conscious thought so that was very interesting.But not all Vampires have a power so she migh not have. i wonder what power i would have hmmm…..?

    Oh very very funny pictures Kaleb you do crack me up!

    We were doing about chemicals in class and someone made purple smoke i accused them of burning a vampire( And my only hope of becoming one.lol.)But i never asked how.
    Purple smoke you know because i have read this book many times but i have never actually really wondered what makes purple smoke, but now i think of it im gunna search it up, Oh the things you make me do Kaleb lol

    I love your reviews they always make me laugh! Oh and the lizzard looks like me when i go hyper. Lol. Jokes

    It would of been interesting to see her join the Cullens though because it would bring Jasper out more and i think Jaspers really interesting so that would of been good to see. but im glad she didnt cause we got to see how jane really was. Underneat all that evil smiling.
    Ok i think i will end my very

    long comment now
    Bye xx

  22. Yes.. Jane is really creepy and I’m sad to see she didn’t get her butt kicked there >=X

  23. i think it would be really cool if bree had the power to control ice . i know it sounds weird but think of it , being able to freeze someones toes and then breaking them off . it would work with vampires too . u could freeze their whole body and give them one small kick and B O O M ! ! ! no more vampire … AWESOME ! ! !

  24. Hi Kaleb! This is the first time that I have posted a comment. Admittedly I am unexcuseably behind on reading your blog. (Especially now that you've finished Breaking Dawn!) But I needed to say that I have always found your posts very funny, but this one actually made me giggle aloud — alone, at 1:30 AM — at the sight of that kitten with the machine gun. Thank you!

  25. Nice. anyway did Bella cut herself wiv the stone to distract Victoria at the campsite? sorry if anyone mentioned this already.

  26. Nice. anyway did Bella cut herself wiv the stone to distract Victoria at the campsite? sorry if anyone mentioned this already.

  27. Bree knows at that point that there must be an importance with the Volturi. She knows that tehre are rules they are not aware of. She is smart enough not to get killed and stayed out of the way of the other hungry newborns. I think she will see reasons and would see right thru the kindness of the Cullens. With Alice around seeing the future if she will go astray, Edward can read her thoughts if she cant handle herself and they can stop her and guide her so easy she will never touch another human. Carlisle is defenitely going out of his way to make her understand why she should respect life. She could possibly read thru people's gesture not necessarily their mind , but she will be fast in knowing who she could trust or avoid. She has a very good instinct. If she master that she will be an asset to the Cullens and probably look for Fred, along the way as Diego is defenitely destroyed by Riley even before the war with the Cullens started

  28. okay, yes, jane does put people in pain for her own personal amusment. she is sadistic. a sadist. someone who gets pleasure, amusement, saisfaction, or sexual gratification from the pain of others. much like James was. he was creepy. Alec, janes brother is also a sadist but so much less prominent then jane, due to his quiet nature.

  29. , August 25, I will never forget the daytime. Registration that day,
    cousin and parents together. What clothes to dress what their shoes are
    still clearly memorize. The sun hangs high in the sky, as if to
    differentiate my high school epoch. .


  30.  This causes purple smoke

    Iodine.But it's not as romantic or awesome as it seems because iodine is highly poisonous and irritant. Everyone would be rubbing their eyes and skin. Having said that though, it's a beautiful purple smoke I often encounter during my chemistry practicals/destructions ;)Iodine is normally a shiny black solid at room temp and is in the halogens (group 7). It's highly reactive because it only requires one electron to complete its outer shell.Iodine goes from solid straight to gas, with no liquid stage that we can easily detect.It would make the perfect purple gas.
    I'm a chemistry student that likes blowing test tubes up 🙂

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