A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 1 (Engaged)

The song for this chapter is Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous by Good Charlotte

[audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/lifestylesoftherichandfamous.mp3]

I can hardly believe that after almost an entire year of writing for twilightguy.com, I am finally reading the last book in the Twilight Saga.

I can still remember the weeks we waited for this novel in 2008. I remember the last two days especially, when the fansites were working overtime to squash the people who were posting spoilers. I remember staying up that evening to watch Stephenie read the first parts of the book at her release party online. And then, finally, the world could read Breaking Dawn.

Obviously, between Eclipse and the fourth book in the series, much has changed for Bella Swan. She has a new car. A new credit card. She even has a new set of rumors floating around town about her (as if she didn’t have enough of those already). It’s no wonder the townspeople can’t stop staring at her. If you saw a teenage girl getting married to a 90-year-old man who showered her with expensive gifts, wouldn’t you start to wonder what was really going on? When you think of how this sounds, perhaps it’s actually a very, very good thing that Edward is a vampire and doesn’t appear anywhere near his real age, or else the town would really be talking 😀

I think a lack of sleep caused my vision to be a bit blurry as I started reading, because when I read this line:

…in her minivan, Mrs. Weber had turned her whole torso in my direction. […] I tried to take some comfort in the fact that she wasn’t really staring at me, just the car.

I instead saw the ending as

I tried to take some comfort in the fact that she wasn’t really staring at me, just the cat.

megacat

Which might have changed the story of this book quite a bit:

To be irrevocable in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously hightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, she has endured a tumultous year of temptation, loss, and strife to reach the ultimate turning point.

Then, the Megacat appears.

A creeping, monstrous creature of the night, the cat towers above the city of Forks, casting its shadow all across La Push and blocking the sun in what could only be a new form of an eclipse. It desires one thing before the break of dawn: that which terrifies Bella so, that which has held her sleepless for many a night; that which Bella refuses to give to any creature excluding a vampire or alternatively a werewolf.

Her life...bo

[Note to Stephenie: it was my idea first. Hands off.]

Stephenie refers to Bella’s shiny black credit card on page 5 (for future reference, I’m using the hardcover book). Of course, being one who cares absolutely nothing for the frivolous lives of the rich and/or famous, I have never wasted my time looking these up. Since nobody cares anyway (and especially not me) I am probably boring the stuffing out of all my readers by saying that the Centurion Card is crafted from titanium and requires a minimum of $250,000 spent per year. Since no one is curious, I won’t post any photos.

I find it hilarious that Edward got Bella a car that is primarily used by arms dealers, drug lords, and various other criminals:

Bella's New Friends
Bella's New Friends

But in a strange way I can sympathize with Bella and her new driving troubles. Not that I have ever driven a European* car that comes with its own paparazzi, but the ridiculous stopping and starting that one does when getting adjusted to a new vehicle you are not accustomed to driving. I can still remember the first time that I drove my grandmother’s car instead of my mom’s van (which I had done all my driving practice in). Obviously, my grandmother’s brakes were newer, so that when I nervously made a turn at an intersection and lightly tapped the brakes, instead of slowing down I found myself stopped in the middle of the road completely. Then the light changed.

It’s nice to see that Bella’s mother supports her; and that at least Charlie isn’t taking his gun after Edward. It did strike me as odd that no one has even put forth the possibility of Jacob’s disappearance being Edward’s fault. After all: Jacob loves Bella; Edward loves Bella; Jacob disappears; Edward and Bella get married. The obvious conclusion the Forks Police Department should have surmised from this is that Edward and Jacob had an old-style duel-to-the-death, the winner taking Bella’s hand in marriage.

What Really Happened
What Really Happened

Still, it’s wonderful to see Bella in her happy place at last, even though her best friend can’t be there to share it with her. Or will he? I’ve never known Jacob to sulk away for too long, so judging the size of this book I expect there are plenty of surprises for me in the following chapters 😀

Question For The Comments: If you were Bella’s parent, would you be happy with her getting married to Edward Cullen that young? Also, same question, but what if she was marrying Mike Newton instead?

——NOTES——

– After all the questions about what a Bound Galley is, I decided to actually show everyone on video:

* is this grammar fail? An European car? A European car?

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197 Responses

  1. As always, Kaleb, your posts make me roll laughing.

    I think if I were a parent I would be okay with my daughter getting married that young, especially to someone like Edward. I think everyone, especially Renee and Charlie know that they’re in love, and like above posters said, he is the ideal guy- able to provide, polite, well educated, etc. However, if she were marrying Jacob, that would be a different story. Somehow I can’t see Renee being okay with her and Jacob, and I don’t think Charlie would take it well. Nor would they if she were marrying Mike. However, that does make an interesting* plot for some fanfiction. Which would be rather hilarious, if you think about it.

    *On the grammer fail: It’s “a European car” The rule was created to provide better sentence fluency with the transition of vowel sounds. Since “European” has a ‘y’ sound instead of a typical ‘e’ vowel sound at the beginning, there is no need to put an “an” in front of it. However, if you were pointing out a letter in a paper, you would say “an N” or “an M” because when you say those letters you make an “e” sound at the beginning. Ah, the glories of English.

  2. Yeah the credit card is actually really cool looking. I don’t have one, but I used to work on the rich side of town, and every now and them someone would use theirs…they are heavy, and not nearly as thick as you would think, but they are like ice cold to the touch….. As far as the question goes, I like to think of myself as an open minded person, so I would like to think that if I felt my son our daughter was truly happy, then I could stand behind that.

  3. Breaking Dawn is the bst book ever cant wait till the movie comes out im crazy for the whole Twilight Saga im obssess with all the books and the movie hope tat thay make more money about all of the books

  4. Bella's proven to be more mature than most teens her age. I would have to agree with Renee, when she says that Bella's never been an ordinary teenager. And personally, I think it'd be better for them to get married with their parents approval, rather than 'forcing' them to elope to Alaska without it. Who knows what ceremonies they'd hold up there with the penguins…

  5. i would be fine with them gettin married with a child like bella i can trust that she would make the rite decision and edward is amazing so i cant see why anyone wouldnt approve.oh and i personaly dont like mike n. hes soooo annoying i would not allow bella to be in 100 feet of mike no offense to mike but im glad bella didnt end up with him i really cant stand mike but i do like him when hes not all wanting to go out with bella when hes “just” her friend.

  6. well if bella were my child i would probably be okay with it because i know that her and edward really love each other and i also know that edward will not let anything bad happen to bella. bella is a person who will make the right decision. i would be able to trust her. she is a smart girl and a very good person.

  7. It is does'nt really make a difference to the parents if Bella marries Edward or Mike, they don't know that Edward is a vampire and Mike isn't. Her Dad may like it better however because he always thought Mike Newton was “a nice boy” but everyone knows Charlie's dream is for Bella to marry Jacob. If I was Bella, I would personally choose Jacob, he has always been there for her.

  8. i love the twilight series its awsome ive read every book at least 6 times already

  9. i have a few things to tell you Katiepie, about alaska. one i live in alaska. two there are no penguines here there in antartica. and if you think that we live in igoloes your plain out stupied. we live in house's just like aneywhere else in the world.

  10. if i were bella's parents i were trust her jugment to be the right one and for her to make the right choice.

  11. I'v been wanting to read this book but I can't because I'm on New Moon. I'm half way through chapter 10. I love this series!!!

  12. I read eclipse but not breaking dawn and i cant wait i almost cried at the end of eclipse. My favorite quote from eclipse was “The clouds i can handle. But i cant fight with an eclipse.” Jacob says that to bella when she ays that he is her sun!!!!! so romantic

  13. I married my high school sweetheart just 2 weeks after graduation and that was 5 years ago. I loved him and knew what I wanted so I personally see no problem with this obviously.

  14. ok if I were Bella's parents I would agree she could marry Edward Cullen me because he could take care of her no matter wat and if Bella truly loves him……..And if theyre sure that they could handle there problems together…
    With Mike Newton no way his not that attractive sort of and I really dont think he could handle a good relationship even if they were married! sorry for the late comment ive read this like a year ago I kinda forgot and I checked out this website again then i remembered bout this haha sorry!but really i love ur website!

  15. It depends on if bella really loves edward ormike newton but mainly edward.And if she wants to spend the rest of her ife with that guy what kind of parent would i be to stop her

  16. It depends on if bella really loves edward ormike newton but mainly edward.And if she wants to spend the rest of her ife with that guy what kind of parent would i be to stop her

  17. dosnt any1 no where i can read the whole book? Its annoying having to and look and type and click through the internet- think iv'e found what im looking for and it ends up being some website like this!!!! (mood-aggarvated)

  18. why is every 1 talkin about edward and MIKE what bout edward and JACOB i mean seriously though mikes barely in any of the movies hellooo anyone notice that???????????????

  19. Why not try being a decent human being and going buy the book in stores, instead of trying to steal it online? You act as if I'm the bad person for not stealing it for you.

  20. omg! i in love with edward cullen and i will say 3 words GO TEAM EDWARD!!!!

  21. Not that i will advice that to my own daughter, but i think and believe, iuf it was me….i will take the chance and go blind in marrying that someone whom i believe is the one, not necessarily a vampire but one that simulates the likeness of Edward. They will only pass this way once and to let that pass maybe a big mistake.

  22. I am the biggest Twilight fan on the Earths surrface!!!!
    I think Bella is making a great coice picking Edward because somtimes Jacob can be a jerk!!!
    I love Renesme Carlie Cullen

  23. i love twilight and im excited for breaking dawn. i even want my whole life to be like all the books in twilight. im super obsessed with all the books and movies. i hAVE TO WATCH BREAKING DAWN AND IM JACOB BLACK'S NUMBER 1 FAN. I LOVE HIM. HE MARRIES BELLAS DAUGHTER AND THATS AWESOME. TOTALLLY COOL!!!

  24. It would be “A European car” because the way we pronounce “European” it begins pronounced something like “urapean” witch sounds slightly like “your a pee-in” so, think about it that way. “A European jerk just hit me with my car, causing my brand new copy of Breaking Dawn to fall into a puddle just as the bookstore closed for a week long holiday” is a good example.  

  25. ummm if i were bella's parent i would be happy for bella and edward. if it were mike newton, and i am not a big fan of him but i like how edward freaks out when bella talks about or is near him (and plus how edward reacts when he reads mike's mind!), i would feel the same way …… but not knowing the vampire side of the story i would feel like bella was being well taken care of.

  26. WHEN LOVE PASSES THRU YOUR LIFE IS BEATYFUL CAUSE LOVE COME AND GO BOTH INDUAVIDUAL HAVE TO WORK THERE PARTS THERE HAS TO BE THRUST COMMUNICATION TIME AND MOST OF ALL LOVE I GOT MARRIED AT 16YRS OF AGE IAM 43 AND I STILL MRRIED TO MY LOVE  WE BOTH WORK VERY HARD AT THE HARDSHIP LIFE HAS GIVING US BUT WE ALSO BEEN BLESSED WITH OUR CHILDREN AND NOW OUR GRANDCHILDREN THAT A BLESSING TO ME  I HAVE BEEN VERY LUCK IN THAT ASPECT AT THE VERY START OF MY ROMANCE WITH ROMEO WAS DIFFULT CAUSE HE WAS INGAJADE TO SOMEONE ELSE TO BE MARRIED IN A YR I WAS THE WEDDIND PLANNER AND RELATED TO THE BRIDE TO BE  THAT WAS VERY HARD TO FALL FOR A MAN WHO WAS TAKEN BUT THE BRIDE WAS JUST INTRESTED IN WHAT HE CAN GIVE NOT LOVE SHE WANTED A HIH SOCIETY A NAME AND SOMEONE TO PAY HER CREDICARD DELBT THE SAME DAY OF THE WEDDING SHE GOT CAUGHT IN A SEXUAL BEHAVIOR WITH THE BROTHER OF THE GROOM MY EYES WERE SO TIRED OF CRYING CAUSE I WAS IN LOVE WITH THE GROOM HE WAS NOT AWARE OF MY FEELING FOR HIMUNTIL THE DAY CAME AND I SPOKE TO HIM AND TOLD HIM MY FEELING FOR HIM EVEN THOU HE WAS HURT ABOUT THE CHEATER GIRL HE HAD BEFORE AND THAT WE WAS RELATED HE THOUGHT WE WERE PLAING HIM ONCE AGAIN BUT MY HEART ONLY HAD ONE NAME ROMEO I HAD TO PROVE MY SELF WITH HARDSHIP  I GUESS HE LIKE ALL THE ATTENTION HE WAS GETTING  BUT HES LOVE WAS A LIE HE WAS GETTING EVEN WITH HIS EX TO HURT ME BUT IT BACKFIRE HE DID FELL IN LOVE WITH ME WHEN I DECIDED TO LEAVE TO MAKE A NEW LIFE FOR MYSELFHE REALIZE HE HEART BELONG TO ME 27YRS TOGETHER AND PLENTY MORE TO COME  THE STORY OF ROMEO AND MARIE IT A TRUE LOVE STORY WITH ALOT OF DRAMA AND SUSPENCE

  27. UST LIKE BELLA AND EDWARD THEY FOUGHT THERE WAY TO BE TOGETHER  LOVE CAN BE VERY DIFFULT AT TIME BUT WHEN LOVE IS REAL THERE NOTHING THAT CAN BEAT IT LOVE ALWAYS WIN

  28. I LOVE THIS BOOK AND MOVIE CAUSE IT REMIND ME WHAT REAL LOVE IS ALL ABOT ALOT OF PEOPLE HAS FORGOT WHAT LOVE MEAN

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