A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 18 (There Are No Words For This)

The song for this chapter is Dead But Breathing by Lesley Roy


Finally: a week where I’m actually not flying in or out of the west or east coast! Seriously, I have so much jetlag right now the keys on my keyboard are looking a bit fuzzy. But it’s back to Breaking Dawn, and what could possibly be the shortest title in a long time (it actually fits in less than three lines! Hooray! Huzzah!). Where did I leave off? Oh yes — Bella just vomited a fountain of blood. How could I forget?

Blood isn’t exactly a big fear of mine, but like most sane human beings I’m not good around lots of it. Bella is obviously coughing up a LOT of blood (the word ‘fountains’ is probably one of the best/worst/most-discomforting mental images associated with this). But forget about me: what about poor Edward and Rosalie? It’s like putting a sugar addict in a candy store and handing them a big fat card that says “SHOPPING SPREE. EXPIRES: NEVER. GOOD FOR: EVERYTHING”. Why even call Carlisle — all that blood could be smelled by every vampire within miles.


Good for Jacob: he finally has an excuse to attack Rosalie. She kinda needed it from him sometime 😀 . Not that she really wants to fight. It’s hard to imagine just how overwhelming the thirst for blood must be for Rosalie, to know that if she loses control she would kill Bella and the vampire baby she’s so crazy about. She seems to understand this but also understands that it’s nearly impossible for her to fight it. My feelings go out to the Bluetooth that was in her ear when Jacob threw her against the wall.

The transformation of Bella into a vampire was something I never, ever expected to happen in this chapter. I thought for sure it would be later, perhaps at the end of the book, so when Edward injects her with the venom and then finally bites her, I find myself at a loss. It must be realized that since Twilight, the first book, Edward has resisted all temptations to change Bella. It has been the constant struggle throughout all the books, so that if he had transformed her in the first a lot of problems might have been averted throughout. When he changes her, it’s almost a miniature climax of all that has happened so far between Bella and Edward.

It leads me to ask the question of “why now?”. Bella has been in danger many times before, and yet Edward didn’t want to change her then. Is this situation so much more life-threatening than the others? Or did all of her blood spilled around the room just become too much for Edward, so that the intoxicating smell played with his judgment, and made the idea of changing her not so difficult? I am under the impression that it is a mixture of them all: but more so the fact that Bella, who previously survived an assortment of clumsy disasters, was actually on the brink of death and wouldn’t survive if Edward had not done something.

I find it interesting as well that when Bella’s child is born, and Bella seems dead, that Jacob suddenly appears to lose interest in her. What was he in love with? I’ve asked myself this question a lot in the past few chapters of this book. Is it just because he finds her beautiful? Intriguing? Confusing? Was he suddenly repulsed by her when she was covered in blood in front of him, or did his love disappear the moment she became a vampire? It’s as if in an instant, she doesn’t dazzle him anymore.

I can only imagine what it must mean to Jacob when Bella is bitten by Edward. He didn’t even seem too phased by the wedding, as if he didn’t actually believe in the marriage or thought somewhere in the back of his mind that there still might be hope for him stealing Bella away in the future. But Edward biting Bella seems to be something different, even deeper than the marriage — something more eternal, that no matter what Jacob does, he will never, ever get her now, because she is truly, and only, Edward’s. They are now eternal. Jacob will die one day, and Bella will go on living after he is gone. His time with Bella is now a tiny speck in comparison to how long she will be with Edward. Thinking about how unimportant he seems to be now, I don’t blame Jacob at all for wanting to bleach his brains.

ADDED: In response to a bunch of comments below, I did NOT miss the last paragraphs of this chapter. But since it left in a cliffhanger it’s nearly impossible to comment on that part until I return to the scene and find out what exactly happened (probably in the next chapter?).


– Because my life is about to get super busy with promotion for my novel, I am doing a Breaking Dawn marathon! With all my travel this month, I have gotten behind, and the time has come to catch up so I can finish before September 9. My posts might be shorter but I’ll read a lot more in the coming weeks 😀



93 Responses

  1. Kaleb, what are your favorite quotes from the first three books?
    And I understand how you think pg 360 is a cliff-hanger, I had to explane it to my friend when we were reading it for the first time.

  2. The reason Edward had no hesitation in biting/injecting venom was because, for Pete's sake – her heart actually stopped! Jacob had to do some serious CPR! If that's not an almost death experience, please, enlighten me, what is??

    Also, uh, Jacob won't die – not unless he chooses too. Remember that. He won't even age unless he chooses too. Seriously, you need to keep that in mind.

    Finally, I would read that last page one more time. Carefully. Really carefully. Really absorb those words. SOMETHING CRITICAL HAPPENS THAT LAST PAGE! (Not just the revelation that Bella is changing). You asked how he would feel. After that last page, he won't care. Infact, he'll probably be happy for Bella and Edward. FIGURE IT OUT! COME ON KALEB I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!

  3. Kaleb, her body is broken and her heart, at one point, stopped beating. Aside from Edward being prepared to change Bella after they got back from their honeymoon (or however that time line was originally going to work out), he was ready to do it–they're married, he made his promise to change her, and he was even completely unaware of Bella's swaying resolve to be changed immediately until she said something about it.

    So he was prepared, for one. But as far as the immediate timing, my guess is just that you have avoided actually picturing what is actually happening to Bella. Her body doesn't just snap back like a regular pregnancy of a teenage girl–this placenta is massive, as hard as a rock, and her body is having to give way to let it grow. Also, if you remember, her spine is now broken, because Renesmee gave a final hard kick to her back. Even if she hadn't technically been almost dead, she would have been paralyzed. I'd say all of these things are a VERY good reason to choose right about now to do any changing, if changing is going to take place.

  4. Regarding your question as to why Edward decided then to change Bella when she'd been in danger before (warning: mental images forthcoming), the spontaneous detachment of the placenta from Bella's uterus is an extremely life-threatening situation. In “real life,” countless women have died from literally bleeding to death from the uterus. There's more science as to why and how women can “bleed-out” but I'll spare you the details.

    Hence, Edward knew this was a true life-or-death situation and chose to save her.

  5. Please Please please go back and read that last page of the chapter. It's super important. I was reading it at two in the morning so I missed it the first time too but PLEASE read it! You'll get it if you reread it.

  6. I think what she means is for Kaleb to read the partial draft.

    It's not that someone hacked it, it was that someone leaked it. And Stephenie was insulted and hurt by that. But, because she is the most wonderful authoress in the world, she legally and officially posted the partial draft that was leaked on her website and it's phenomenal.

    RIP Midnight Sun. I had been looking forward to that for 3 years and some idiot (I was going to say a different word but let's leave it at 'idiot') crushed my light at the end of the tunnel. ugh!

  7. thanks!! i don't know why i didn't make that connection. lol
    but yeah i agree with you, he WILL be too busy to be able to do this when the book comes out. but thats okay, he deserves to enjoy his book release. he works hard, after all. 🙂

  8. Your very welcome. I am glad to be able to enhance the book for you! That is awesome, especially since I am a teacher, anytime I can help someone understand something it makes me feel good!

  9. Hey ladies,
    I am Team Switzerland, because I realize that Bella MUST be with Edward, but I love Jake best, too!
    Jacob Black is just about the most wonderful character I have Edward read about. He is AWESOME!

  10. I think Edward wasn't worried about her dying exactly. I think he changed her over because he felt it was HIS fault for her coming to the end that she came to. If the pregnancy had never happened, then he may have held out for years, with the same stubborn need to keep her “pure” and human.

  11. At this point, Jacob really thought she was dead. He did not actually hate that she was going to become a vampire.
    He didn't know how he was going to feel about it. If she was still Bella inside he was willing to accept it. After all he actually gave Edward permission as the TRUE alpha to turn her, so that she wouldn't die. He was not sure how he was going to feel when he actually saw her, and didn't know how he was going to handle it if she started killing people, but he had accepted that Edward was going to have to turn her for her to survive.

    Jake really would do anything for Bella, and he did.

  12. People keep comenting on how they thought Bella changing would be more romantic but come on this is Bella and Edward's crazy vampire-human relationship. Of course it's not going to be simple and romantic as they would prefer! It was obvious that it was going to be complicated and trying as their relationship always is.
    I really admire Jacob's determination and love. He's watching the girl he loves die knowing he's not the one she loves or the one she's dying for and yet he finds it in him to do everything in his power to save her and is even willing for her to become the most revolting thing in his mind so that she can still exist. I am 100% team Edward but I have to give credit where credit is due.
    Edward also has amazing chivalry and love that outshines even Jacob with his commitment to Bella. He is literally willing to do anything to save her. I think in this chapter Bella, Edward, and Jacob finally reach the point where their love is ultimatley tested and the choices they made will define everything that happens in their relationships from here on out.

  13. Kaleb, you don't really need to read ahead in order to know what happened at the end of this chapter w/ Jacob. In a way it is a cliffhanger, but then again it isn't. You actually have the answer to this cliffhanger in other books. Once you continue reading, it will all come back to you and make perfect sense.

    I'm glad you'll be reading faster to finish breaking dawn. I love reading what you thought of the book.

    I can't wait to read your book on 9/9/09 🙂

  14. Oh, I know. For the sake of the books, Bella had to end up with Edward. (She didn't deserve Jacob, lol) But Jake, he's just amazing!!

  15. as babybott330 mentioned above, Kaleb's book BRAN HAMBRIC: THE FARFIELD CURSE is being released on September 9th. It has nothing to do w/ Midnight Sun. I read somewhere that she might finish it when she feels alone w/ the characters again, maybe in a year or two. I don't know how true that is, but I really hope so b/c so many people are looking forward to read Twilight in Edward's perspective.

  16. Well, Kaleb, no more long titles after this. You'll see why next chapter. ^_~

    Without Edward turning her, Bella would not have survived the birth of her child. They both made an agreement that she would be turned after they got married. The marriage was Edward's condition, the human sexual experience and turning was Bella's.

    And I have things that you should think about to understand Jacob a bit more:

    1) What is different now as opposed to before Bella started puking blood?
    2) If Jacob lost interest in Bella, then what is he paying attention to now instead?
    3) Now that Bella has been bitten/injected, where is the baby?
    and lastly,
    4) Where is the baby in relation to everyone else?

    I believe that when you think about some things, they will become more clear. You'll learn more in the next few chapters, though.

    P.S- There will be some very interesting moments when she wakes up…..

  17. I'm surprised you didn't figure out exactly what happened to Jacob in those final paragraphs. I Thought it was pretty obvious (then again maybe it just looks that way after you read the whole book). I would like to point out though, that Jacob's life span is potentially just as long as a vampire's. He doesn't age, remember? As long as he keeps changing every now an then, he'll live forever. The only way he dies is if he stops changing or someone kills him. (Vampires can be killed as well, so it's pretty much an even playing feild).

    Wonderful post, as always!

  18. The end of the chapter is not a cliff hanger. If you didn't get it, go back to Eclipse and read what Jacob tells Bella about Quil and gravity in Chapter 8…..

  19. Dude when my mom read the Bluetooth smashing part, she literally almost cried. Her and her Bluetooth are practically married.

    Well you find out a teensy bit more later, but I think Edward knew that this was it. It was either let Bella die to save her soul and leave him alone with a child he couldn't properly take care of because he would be mourning Bella or turn her into a vampire, something she dearly wants and was going to happen anyway, so they can live together happily forever and now with a beautiful child to take care of. The second choice seems better, no matter how selfish Edward thought it was.

    I know you posted that “edit” in your post, but really. Read the last paragraph again CAREFULLY, then reflect on everything Jacob has said about imprinting. I got it the first time I read it, but a lot of people didn't.

  20. I have to agree with you here. I never thought that Edward changing Bella could be a romantic event. I mean, the way he sees it, he's condemning her to a life without her soul. Not to mention the painful, burning agony that lasts three days. I wasn't exactly expecting the whole completely tragic barely saved her super crazy birth storyline, but hey.. it certainly fits.
    I also admire Jacob during this chapter. I love that he finally gets to smash Rosalie as well, because she's really awful to him. I don't believe at this point he still sees her being a vampire as the most revolting she could ever be. I think he's already faced her at her worst, barely a person anymore, during the pregnancy. I think when he gave Edward the true alpha's permission to save her life he was fully aware that it was going to happen, and he was prepared to love Bella as a vampire.
    By the end of this chapter, I was pretty satisfied. I'm glad it wasn't the end, but I could have been happy if had been. I think that all the questions about their crazy love triangle are answered, except for one, and that one wasn't even answered at the end, so I guess I'll never know. 😉

  21. Ahhh Kaleb, I am sooo happy you finally got to this part of the book! I loved it! I just skimmed everyone's responses and dude, they are right! Page 360….how could you stop reading at that point? Side the matter – Here're my questions back – What does the new agreement (truce if you will) between Edward, Jacob, and Bella mean for the Quileute/Cullen families? True alpha spoke (but there are two alphas right now)….a baby was born….what will happen????

  22. Ah the gore fest… To be honest, only Rosalie was in trouble of controlling herself since Edward has finally overcome his lust for blood after New Moon but yes, seeing Jacob slam Rosalie into the wall was kinda nice since she's been asking for it from the beginning 😀

    Regarding Edward's decision to change Bella, it wasn't something that he decided right there and then. The fact that he has a syringe of his venom ready means that he made this decision a long time ago, probably since they got back from their honeymoon. Edward knew that delivering the baby would be fatal to Bella and he has to change her immediately if he doesn't want to lose her.

    Looking back at it, all the other dangers that Bella faced before was avoidable. James was after Bella because Edward responded to James' taunting but really, he wasn't that big of a threat. If Edward didn't leave Bella then all the trouble with the wolves and the Volturi wouldn't had happened and the trouble with Victoria would've been avoided as well if the James problem was avoided. This on the other hand was inevitable, no one knew that Edward could impregnate Bella and Bella's determination to keep the baby made it clear to Edward that if she was going to survive the delivery of the baby, she would have to be changed immediately.

    About Jacob, I had this theory that Jacob was 'in love' with the part of Bella was to become her daughter's (if that made sense at all XD ) Bella is meant to be the mother of Jacob's imprintee and so he felt drawn to her. That's what made Bella feel so happy whenever she saw Jacob when she was pregnant. It was the baby's and Jacob's feelings of being drawn to each other. He was unconsciously reaching for Renesmee, not Bella (as he originally thought).

    And yes, Jacob wasn't too phased by Edward and Bella's marriage because marriage is something that can be discarded now in our modern world. It doesn't have the same meaning that it used to have centuries ago. Becoming a vampire on the other hand is eternal, it's not reversible. It can be noted that Jacob was doing okay during the wedding reception until Bella mentioned that she was going to be turned soon. Jacob cannot follow Bella anymore once she becomes a Vampire, she'll be an enemy or at the least, someone who is very much out of reach. To Jacob (and most of the wolves), becoming a vampire is a fate worse than death. For Bella, someone he cares so much about, to willingly choose to become a vampire it's almost as bad as seeing your wife/husband to plea for death and love it.

  23. Hi! You know i ALWAYS check my twitter home page at the WRONG time. Anyways..actually the last part about Jacob dying…..well, if you remember he told her that he doesnt age either in eclipse and that made her VERY angry. No big deal. Just thought youd wanna know. Love your review!

  24. Yeah I agree. But I also want to add that just I don't think Edward changing her was the reason Jacob doesn't care anymore. AND JACOB WONT DIE!!! Read Eclipse again Kaleb! JK, its no problem i forgot too they can live forever or as long as they want they wont age unless they give up the wolf spirit. I think its something like that.

  25. Yes, I was referring to the partial draft. I am devestated, along with most twilight fans, that it isn't being finished as Stephenie would have liked. However, it is posted for all of us to enjoy… and I would thoroughly enjoy hearing Kaleb's thoughts! GO KALEB! My bigger wish is that Kaleb would be able to read it before BH comes out…. come on Kaleb… Whatcha' think?

  26. I don't think Rosalie was after Bella's life… she wanted to save Renesmme at all costs, and was willing to sacrifice Bella for her.

  27. did you missed some parts of the chapter??? I thought it was pretty clear that Bella would definately die if Edward didn't do something. Jacob thought it was already too late. and, personally, I think that the reason that Jake was in love with Bella is because he should stay with her in order to meet Renesmee, his destiny. and that's why he “lost interest” in Bella…. that's how I see it… good song by the way!

  28. CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! You're from the movie “Twilight in Forks!” AHHHHHH!!!! Can I have your autograph!!!! PRETTTTTTY PLEASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [email protected] ~PLZ EMAIL ME!!!

  29. Yeah, and for a GUY who reads Twilight, you're pretty good at this stuff! The guys in my grade would make fun of Bella after reading this!

  30. CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! You're from the movie “Twilight in Forks!” AHHHHHH!!!! Can I have your autograph!!!! PRETTTTTTY PLEASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [email protected] ~PLZ EMAIL ME!!!

  31. Yeah, and for a GUY who reads Twilight, you're pretty good at this stuff! The guys in my grade would make fun of Bella after reading this!

  32. I'm thinking the severe Jet lag played major havoc on your ability to read this chapter clearly.

    Edward can't live w/out Bella, so the alternatives are death or vampirization. Plus, he promised. She has way over-filled her obligations on that end of the deal. In fact, I'm sure doing it this way actually helps Edward to change her, since there is no other option…

  33. You thoughtful comments on Breaking Dawn were interesting to read, but I think you might have missed a subtle change in Jacob that even he didn't know about. Once Reneesme was born Jacob had no need for Bella as he had before. As he walked down the stairs to kill the “monster” who had killed Bella he is hit upside the head with Imprinting that was so strong he couldn't pass it by. As he said in New Moon when Bella asked him if he'd imprinted on “anyone”, he said, “You'd know if I had.” And that is true beyond his knowledge or ability to understand when he meets Reneesme. I have read the first part of Breaking Dawn three times already trying to pick up the subtle nuances that Stephenie used so brilliantly. I love the way she framed the language…on both sides, or all sides. Words that aren't normally used appear in her books, her beautiful descriptions of the incredible love between Edward and Bella, and finally the closing of the circle with Jacob, so that he'll always be around, she'll never be without him, nor he without her because she is the Mother of the love of his life. What a perfect ending to this story. I have attempted to get so many others involved with the books/movies but the “vampire” thing works against me…so I just bring the video with me and get them to watch it…by the time Edward walks into the cafeteria I can see their eyes widen…by the time he kisses her…they're hooked.
    I am so ready for Breaking Dawn that for the first time in my life I am hurrying Summer along…if it ever arrives in New England.  I watched the Bad Mother's Handbook and loved it. Rob was wonderful in it, much better than two others, “The Haunted Airman” and I forget the name of it but he played Salvadore Dali. Mainly, due to homosexual content I found it difficult to watch, but Kudos to Rob because he was amazing in the role.

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