The song for this chapter is Hide And Seek by Imogen Heap
“The pain was bewildering.”
If Bella was in pain before, I cannot even imagine what she must be experiencing now. It’s spinning into levels of intensity that she has never known — and she doesn’t even seem nearly as concerned for herself as she is for her child, the same child who was slowly killing her and got her into this state. The baby is basically tearing her apart from the inside out, snapping bones and spilling blood as she thrashes around, and the only thing Bella thinks is:
“[Edward] wanted to wait, to give me painkillers, while our baby was dying?! […] my baby, my baby, dying…
She hardly notices that the baby is not the only person who is dying here. I don’t even know how to feel when I see how Bella is reacting with complete disregard for her own life. Is it obsession to see this baby survive? Or is it Bella being a mother, wanting to protect her child above her own life no matter how much pain she is in? Just imagining the intense agony she must be experiencing amidst all the crackings and gushings nearly makes me hurt.
Is it just me, or does it seem somewhat refreshing to return to Bella’s point of view (and her customary short chapter titles)? Not that I didn’t enjoy Jacob’s thoughts greatly, and the chance to get into his head after the sometimes-painful paragraphs of descriptions of how sparkly and muscular Edward is. But since I started out in Bella’s head, and since she’s been the one I’ve known the best, it just feels like I’m returning to the story now that I’m back with her — in spite of the horrible state she seems to be in.
The complete lack of self-concern within Bella is startling. She is in deep pain, about to die, and the only reason that seems to keep her alive is that she might hurt Edward and Jacob. That is all she can think about. She doesn’t seem to fear death or anything that is happening to her now. All she is afraid of his hurting her baby, or hurting the people she loves.
If it had only been for myself, I wouldn’t have been able to struggle very long. […] But this wasn’t just about me.
When the burning venom begins to take over Bella’s body, the pain increases from something unbearable into something I can’t even begin to imagine. With some type of venom/morphine concoction rushing through her veins, it almost seems that Bella will die, just from the poison that is taking over her body, if the pain doesn’t end her life first. Perhaps this is why she seemed dead when Jacob left the room earlier, because she couldn’t even move while both chemicals were speeding through her body.
It makes me wonder if this is the same for every human who is transformed into a vampire — the searing pain that seems to grow every minute. Part of it might be from the painful birth of Renesmee, but the pain from the transformation might actually brush that aside completely as Bella begins to change. It’s so hard to imagine just how painful this must be to Bella, because it seems that every time she reaches the farthest extreme of pain, it doubles again, so that I really don’t know when Bella reaches her most painful moment until it is all over.
Question For The Comments: If you had the choice, do you think that becoming a vampire is worth the pain you must go through to be transformed?
– Apologies for having nothing funny to say about this chapter. There just isn’t much to poke fun at in this one, with all the pain Bella’s in.
– If you were looking for a laugh (or another laugh, if you are one of those monsters who actually found this chapter funny?!), here is an unused photo from the vaults:
NOTE: This post is one which was recovered after the Great Website Server Failure, and is missing most of its previous comments.