A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Twilight: Chapter 22 (Hide And Seek)

The song for this chapter is Enemies by Ryan Cabrera


As I opened up to the third-from-the-last chapter of Twilight, I accidentally leaned back in my chair, scraping the edge of the cover against the side of my desk. Alas! There is now an injurious scratch on the edge of the book’s spine, with part of the black peeled away to show the white paper underneath. It is a sad sight. But one which made me think of the old velveteen rabbit: obviously, I’ve been getting loads of reading out of this one (though my recent mistake probably merited me this again).

Recommendation: do not attempt to eat salsa while reading Twilight, especially this chapter. For, as I quickly discovered, when your eyes get to the end of the page, your mind does not care that your fingers are still clutching tortilla chips, and instinctively lash out to turn the page so the scene does not stop. The action and suspense have increased with Alice’s vision and Bella’s plans being made: and with Edward arriving very soon, Bella’s got to be out of there in a flash.

Bella’s escape from the airport was wonderfully planned, as she knew the area, and I could very nearly feel the other two close behind. However, it was James’ plan that struck me by surprise. Go on: you can start laughing uproariously now. I caught a few giggles from people as I skimmed the comments last time, about how ‘I was gonna find out’ in the next chapter. I will admit, I was a little confused, since if Bella’s mother was there, that would be an outsider who knew about the vampires: which would not be good at all. Still, I was not expecting James to have been able to put together such a scheme in so little time, so it took me by surprise.

Funny thing about ballet: the only ballet performances I have seen are two of my sister’s, and a few of her practices at the studio. This studio was nearly a photocopy of the one which Bella was lured to: mirrors all about the walls so you could look one way and see yourself multiplied. The most interesting part about this studio, though, was the stairway which no one ever went up. Somehow it got into my head that the place was haunted at night, and an old witch lived upstairs. I figured she must have been a rather poor witch, forced to rent the rooms below out to noisy, screaming children practicing ballet below her feet.

The Witch of the Ballet

Move over Phantom. There’s a new act in town.

I really enjoyed the fact that Bella actually went back to her house. The reason for this is that the book is now circular: the first pages start out shortly after Bella left her house. It is powerful, then, to see her return, and to think of all the things that have changed since then. Edward appeared. Bella was nearly hit by a car. The men in the alley. Meeting the Cullens. Losing count of guys asking Bella to the dance. So many things have happened, so that when I paged back to the beginning of the book, just to see it again, I was shocked to read Bella’s oh-so-eloquent thoughts back on page 4:

 I detested Forks.

So much has changed since then. Bella’s entire character has made such a transformation, this is what she thinks 22 chapters later:

 More fiercely than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green, protective forests of Forks…of home. 

Not only have so many things happened to Bella, but she has changed completely as a person. Is this all because of Edward, I wonder? Or is Edward just a large part of it: a decoy that has made her open her mind to her new home and see things in a different light, that maybe Forks isn’t quite as bad as she was expecting it to be.  Quite a change has come over her since she was last in that house back in Phoenix.

This was perhaps the most powerful line in this chapter:

There was no time to look back at my house, and I didn’t want to see it as it was now — empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. The last person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.

Again, it brought me back to the very beginning of the book: tying the two ends together. This time, it was a line in the prologue:

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.


Someone asked me what I would do if I ever become a famous author. I decided to make a video answering that, which includes a newspaper, the back of Lemony Snicket’s head, a phone call to Stephenie Meyer, a wall of photos that does not exist, and more. Also, sunburn. Check it out over here…

-The next round of picking the song for Twilight starts this weekend! I’ll have the new voting form up with the top ten on Saturday or Sunday, but for now, you can keep suggesting songs (it’s currently in the high thousands).



93 Responses

  1. Haha the movie was hilarious. If i ever become a famous author i would probably do those things too. 🙂

  2. I second Time is Running Out by Muse for the next chapter 🙂

    Your video is hilarious btw 🙂 I’m actually very exited for your book’s realease.

  3. Gosh, i love how insightful you are… it still amazes me every time i read a new chapter review… =]

  4. Love love love how you put the pieces together with how Bella felt in the beginning and how she does at the end.

    I didnt get that till like the 10th time i read it.

    I think Edward had everything to do with changing how Bella thought about Forks and as soon as she was more open minded she found other reasons like living with Charlie. In Twilight this is her only other reason to like Forks but in the next books she finds more reasons.

    Becky I love your insight on how Bella without Edward is her worst enemy

  5. song suggestion for the next chapter…
    Angel by Sarah McLachlan, perhaps?

  6. Aw! I never really thought about the things that have happened to her since she’s been there.. Thanks!!! YES! Your almost finished!! 🙂

  7. You’re precious, Kaleb. I love your literary analysis of this book! You are an English major for sure. We’d be such great friends. Haha.

  8. Kaleb, I love you, but please, please hurry up and finish reading it before I go crazy and do something un-smart. You’re almost there!!!! And yeah, I think a lot of people’s books have been damaged in one way or another. I’m pretty careful with mine, but they’ve all got something wrong with them by now.

    Becky (#37) that’s really cool, I didn’t know that.

  9. You know, all this slow reading has made me wonder.
    A: Your will power is so amazing it would make Edward jealous. Or…
    B: You finished Twilight in one day, wrote down your comments for each chapter, and then posted them once a week. :O
    (Or maybe both, starting with chapter 18.) Lol.

    P.S. Your video is hilarious.

  10. Because I’m NEVER the first to comment, I’m going to make this a suuuuuper long comment. 🙂

    Sadly, I don’t have my copy of Twilight with me! My best friend borrowed it again a long time ago and hasn’t given it back yet. I think she’s just saying she hasn’t finished it for the second time so she can reread it a bagillion (isn’t that a fun word?) times before giving it back. When lending Twilight out, there is a set of rules that go with it. The first rule is to NEVER eat around it. Bad, Kaleb! My copy is falling apart because it’s been taken everywhere. I do believe it’s almost killed me a few times, but thank goodness for the best friend that watches me like a hawk.

    What I was GOING to comment about is in New Moon. Poo. I need to think now. Okay, I think I’m good now.

    When you mentioned the contrast between the first and last parts of the book, I really started to think about why Bella would love Forks. Her life has changed completely from when she lived with her mother. She doesn’t have to be the responsible one. Charlie can take care of himself, but she can hardly walk. The roles switched dramatically; Renee is described as a fun loving, adventurous woman and Bella takes care of her. When Bella gets to Forks, Edward takes care of her. In this new reality, she is the reckless one, the person that needs to be protected.

    In Forks, she can be a teenager. She has friends, family, and love in Forks. When an amazing thing happens, do you turn your back on it and reject the gift? Whether you like the present or not, it’s still given to you, and eventually, it grows on you.

    I warned you about the long comment, and if you read it all, I applaud you! 🙂 Can’t wait for you to finish the book!


  11. Haha!! I *love* the part in your video about stealing into bookstores and secretly signing copies of your book. I would totally do that!

  12. i read the books at some undisclosed time in the past that cannot be recalled at this point. I had promised myself that i would not, COULD NOT trawl the internets for fan sites, fan fics, etc. i lasted until today, when my friend (who originally lent me the books) spammed my facebook (read as: 324 wall posts with a list of seventeen different sites). Not thinking, i clicked the first one i saw. and thus i have become addicted, not only to twilight, but to the internet phenomenon that it has spawned. (read as: i just read all the archives in an hour, cause that’s what poor yet overachieving college kids do, right?)

    ….i come to my point…you are very brave to take up such a venture, but beware…Edward may not actually be able to come out and take your soul, but New Moon certainly does…you have been warned…untrained eyes have been wrong before…

  13. Geez you must have crazy self control. I don’t see how you managed to stop at the end of that chapter. lol. You should read faster so you’re done with the rest of the books by the time Breaking Dawn comes out. You have less than a month. Get to it! XD

  14. I think Mr.Naton needs to hurry up and read the other books before August second. Not trying to be pushy, but I’m just pointing it out.

    And I love the connections between the beginning of the book and the end. I didn’t notice Bella’s evolution word for word, though I did see that she had changed.
    Great chapter review. My favorite

  15. hahaha that is one of the best posts yet.
    My mom had to ask me if i was crying, which it apperantly sounds like when i laugh really hard. keep up the awesome work! i can’t wait for you to get to the next chapter!

  16. Great Post and I LOVE the video but there is something greater going on….
    QUOTES QUOTES~!!!!! KALEB NATION do you know what this means???? Stephenie is going to start posting Quotes from Breaking Dawn!! YAYAYAYAYAY

  17. I must say, the little scratch on your book is nothing compared to everyone else’s book. Mine is quite bad, I must say…

    The binding is completely torn. I have a paperback, so now it’s only white. The cover is crumpled, wrinkled, torn, and has many white creases on it. The back cover is held on by a centimeters length. The inside of my cover has spaghetti stains and pencil shavings (?) plastered to it. The corners of all the pages inside are curled up and slightly dirty from the 15-ish times I’ve read it. I write in the margin’s of my book, so there are little notes that I’ve made scattered throughout it. After reading new moon, I circled and starred every mention of Jacob (I’m purely and truly team Jacob- Edward annoys me). Pages 201, 292, 368, and 459 are practically torn out, for no specific reason. There are stains littered throughout the book, and a huge red blotch from pages 345-365 and down the side from when my mom’s friend spilled wine on my book.

    It’s been through much wear and tear, and your little scratch is nothing compared to it.

  18. oh gosh. i finally got my own copy of twilight, and was being so very careful with it (ie, carrying it around like a new born baby, cradled in my arms). and then i put it down on my desk at school, and put my jacket over it. and picked my jacket up when the bell rang for the end of homeroom. and forgot that my dear twilight was underneath.


    it fell to the ground with a deafening, earth-rending *thud*. and there was silence all around me as i bent down slowly to examine the irreversible damage. the corner of the book was bent! alas! alack! gah. ’twas sad, i tell you.

  19. Kaleb, whenever I come to your page I feel like eating pita and hummus (I know tremendously random). But, now that you’re nearing the end of the book.. there’s a good snack suggestion 😀

  20. Don’t worry about the book Kaleb. It’s your first copy. It’s suppose to be ripped up. Mine is also water logged, because I couldn’t bare though thought of putting it down, even while on a log flume. 😀
    Your second copy shall be filled with prettyful colored highlighter and post-it notes to mark you favorite quotes.
    Your third copy, however, must stay in mint-condition, as it is the one you take to Stephenie Meyer book signings. We don’t want her to sign a shabby or highlighted book, now do we?

  21. Hi Kaleb! I just wandered about your website today, and I would just like to say that you ‘dazzled’ me. I love reading your opinions, especially coming from an author. When you talked about Bella being so dynamic, I completely agree. I think thats one of the best parts of the book…how Stephenie made Bella grow up from the people and places around her. Great job with the website. (By the way, your one of the best photo shop people I’ve ever seen :D)

  22. Mehek – how could you do that to The Book??! gosh, that’s tragic. where would we be without the meadow scene?

    don’t hurt your new Twilight so, i beg of you. just… don’t. it’s desecration..!

  23. How can you control yourself so profusely when reading this book? I understand that you want to analyze it for your own further education, but when I was reading these books for the first time(and many more reads after) I could not eat, could not sleep, until I had finished the last sentence of eclipse and let the deep, consuming, penetrating, lingering thoughts entwine themselves through my mind. Is this book not as interesting as previous ones you have read? If so, I would like to read these books because the Twilight Saga just blew my mind.

  24. “What would happen if a vampire were to bite…a gnome..?”

    hahaha…that made me giggle.

  25. this is why i buy hardcopy versions…anywho..the vid was, as usual, awesome…and i like weezer, especially pork and beans and island in the sun…


  26. That was great, Kaleb. You’re a really talented kid. That was fun to watch and I’ll bet Steph (I call her Steph) is still laughing buckets.

  27. Haha you are very funny … and i know you really like twilight but wait until you read New Moon and Eclipse …. my favorite is Eclispe, I am so pumped for Breaking Dawn and can’t wait for it to come out … and hurry up and finish the books so you’ll be ready for BD, I have already read each book twice and is on my 3rd time around on Eclipse … such a great series!

  28. You think scratching some of the back off is bad?

    I was in the bath, completely engrossed in ‘Twilight’ (for the sixth time, I might add).
    I received an SMS whilst completely absorbed and jumped about a foot in the air, dropping the novel in the bath.
    It didn’t dry for about a week!
    And now it looks like crap.

    To top that off, the text message wasn’t even that important…

  29. On my way to get to this, I had to pass your posts on New Moon. Even the chapter names send shivers down my spine. 🙁
    AHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Your video *gasps for breath* Ahahah…
    I would do all of that! Sounds like a great day out! Ahahahhah…. I’m shaking with silent laughter… my sides hurt.
    I think I’d probably use my new found authority to cut in lines at fast food places. Ahahaha…

    “Hey!” exclaimed the customer who had been pushed aside.
    “I’m an author,” she said, by way of explanation.

    😀 I’m so distracted now… I don’t know what to say about your comments on the chapter. Ah, yes… Renee “kidnapping”. Yeah, I was laughing at your last post. 🙂

  30. Someday, you will be famous one day. No doubt about that. By the way, your eyebrows on your kaleb art just kills me! Every time! Love the crazy, laugh out loud, sometimes scare me, sometimes furrier than others, expression filled eyebrows. I have never talked about eyebrows this much!

  31. ok so NEVER EAT PIZZA BITES WHILE READING TWILIGHT! i have ruined many a page by the sauce squirting out of the page when u take a bite [cuz i always bite them in half] or by ur dirty fingers touching the page because u forget they’re dirty. :] just some helpful advice.

  32. i am totally in lurve with edward cullen and my fave bit is when it all stops in Bellas(MY)medow cuz did you know EDWARD CULLEN *sigh* is my secret boyfriend honest he is i love robert pattinson/edward cullen

  33. I find it rather odd that you mentioned Phantom of the Opera in this post, as I was listening to 'Think of Me' just as I came across the picture! Anyway, I am a nes follower of your blog. I appreciate your sense of humor, as well as your insight into the book. Apparently, I have a lot of posts to catch up on, so I'm starting at the begining and working my way forward:) Keep up the good work Kaleb…

  34. Me too I found this site yesterday & I'm almost done the Twilight reviews. But until I get & finish New Moon I will only be reading the Twilight ones.

  35. Me too I found this site yesterday & I'm almost done the Twilight reviews. But until I get & finish New Moon I will only be reading the Twilight ones.

  36. http://www.cafepress.com/werewolves1
    I watched your video above, and you were asking Stephenie Meyer what happens if a vampire bites a knome. Well, that raises one of my questions to Stephenie Meyer: What happens if the Cullens were to just bite an animal? You know, instead of drinking their blood, if a Cullen just bit an animal, would the animal turn into a vampire too? Could an animal turn into a vampire?
    So sad about the damage to the Twilight book, but the condition of something is proof that it was used. If it was used, it must have been important! Actually, I'm surprised that you eat while reading it. If it were me, I would be afraid of dropping nacho cheese inside the pages of the book. It would be likely too, since I am messy. Although, I can understand why someone would want to snack while reading a good book.

  37. Hey, you used to write excellent, but the last several posts have been kinda boring I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!

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