The song for this chapter is Memories by Within Temptation
After all these months, though the pain of Edward leaving has turned into a numbness, Bella is still longing for something to fill the void. I can see it in her dreams, where she sees herself running, searching for something, only to find that there isn’t anything left to search for. By taking out Edward, as I said before, it is like tearing half of one person out. The emptiness in Bella has left her cold again, and it’s leading her to do anything, even buying a rusty, nonworking motorcycle in rainy Forks, to try to replace that feeling that she had before.
There is something very true in what Bella tells herself about Edward. How can he expect her to just go on and forget him, and act as if he was never there? Can anyone ever really forget someone they loved like Bella loved Edward, even if it ended years or decades ago? Memories like that are permanently kept no matter if you want to forget them or not.
There is a reason that sometimes grandparents or even great-grandparents can remember far back into their school days of who was in love with who and how they eventually met their spouse. Nostalgia like this, I’m assuming, is why Classmates.com gets most of their business; and some of us have probably even checked the Myspaces of Certain Special People from years ago, just to see how they are today (of course I’m not speaking from personal experience). Those types of things seem to stay in the back of your mind long after, because you can remember how happy you felt: and because of this, the memory of Edward seems to haunt Bella everywhere she goes.
Then, suddenly, Bella is distracted. The odd thing about this is that she hasn’t been distracted in quite a while obviously, and I just read the first page in the longest time that does not have something about Edward in it. I had to read it twice to make sure: not a mention of his name, not an allusion to his face or a stray memory of them before. And the funniest thing: Bella is driving to see Jacob Black.
Because of all the Jacob and Edward cries of allegiance, I know that Jacob will eventually become important in some way, so I’m already on the lookout. I found it very intriguing that the first time I see Bella distracted from thinking about Edward, it has something to do with Jacob Black. It’s an interesting twist.
I remember Billy Black as a slightly harsh man who Bella didn’t talk to much, because of his negativity towards Edward. Now that the Cullens have left town, suddenly Billy Black has a much more cheery demeanor. I see a future of Bella spending a lot more time over at the Black’s house. I also don’t think Jacob Black will mind that much, either.
Another thing that I’ve discovered about Bella: she seems to be searching for adventure. There are some people who just want some danger in their lives, and living in ‘boring Forks’ is not the best environment for people like Bella.
I laughed humorlessly to myself, still gasping for air. Reckless in Forks– now there was a hopeless proposition.
I’m assuming this is why Bella has a tendency to ignore regular guys (Mike Newton and the gang) and immediately go for the dangerous ones (Edward, etc.). Now that Edward is gone, the greatest (and most dangerous) thing in her life has gone as well, so she is left searching for anything that will bring adventure into her life again: even an old motorcycle
Something else I noticed: what is with the sudden amount of black bear sightings? I’m not exactly sure yet, though I’m sure I’ll be finding out that answer soon (or, that the bear sightings mean absolutely nothing at all).
– For those of you who enjoyed my music before, I just finished a draft of a new song. I would really like any opinions on it. You can listen to it and comment over on this page.
– I hear that Bailey of NoMoreMarbles fame is going to be at the New York signing on August 1! She will be part of a panel with others from Twilight Series Theories, the Lexicon and other fansites. Everyone go say hi to her for me, and while you’re at it, they’re holding a contest for a poster signed by all the Twilight people who were at Comic Con! Check out this page for more info.
– Thanks to you, my channel moved from #17 this week in Youtube Partners all the way to #10! Thanks so much.