The song for this chapter is Valentine by Jim Brickman (suggested by Jodie)
[audio:https://twilightguy.com/music/valentine.mp3]
I had no clue how much expectation is on my shoulders from readers of this site, until yesterday evening, when I received quite a few sour messages asking why I had done a second TwilightGuy Reports instead of a new chapter. The reason is, on occasion, I must take off Wednesdays, as well as the usual post-less Sundays. It gives me a chance to answer email and get caught up on things, like cleaning out my writer-junk or studying for exams. But never fear: I’m back, and with me are The Cullens!
It is in this chapter that I finally get to meet the elusive family of vampires. At least, I get to meet most of them. Two are not there, and I’m beginning to get the feeling that for some reason, they were told to stay away while Bella was around. I also feel a slight uneasiness as Bella enters the house: the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory. However, Bella has Edward, and as long as he’s there, no one will be leaping from the shadows to take a bite.
We writers are quite an odd bunch (if you haven’t discovered already). Writers have gobs of fun with droll things like sentences, like rearranging the italics or commas in other people’s books to find new meanings. Take for example:
“What’s for breakfast?” I asked pleasantly. (…)
Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Bella.”
Entirely different meaning when you remove the comma:
“What’s fer breakfast?” the goblin growled. (…)
Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat Bella.”
And Bella, I must simply disagree. There are etiquette books out there detailing how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family:
Edward on the piano is one of the most striking images I have found in this book. If anything, Annie Leibovitz could capture the scene well with a photo lit similarly to her shots of the Queen– a dark and slightly brooding mood. It is one of the scenes that I am looking forward to the most in the upcoming movie.
I have a thing for piano music. There are few instruments as soft and perfect as just a simple piano. Like Bella, I took lessons years ago but whined enough so my mom finally relented and let me quit. It is something I regret very much (I whined about writing, she did not relent, and now I’m an author — notice the pattern).
However, despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear, and I still get the enjoyment that comes from making music. It is one of those things that calms the mind unlike anything else; so much that after leaving the piano home, yesterday I bought a new keyboard for my apartment, so I could keep making music for my own enjoyment. Nothing really compares to being able to compose your own songs, since it comes straight from your mind, untarnished by others who cannot capture it like you can yourself.
In this way, there is something special in the fact that Edward has written a song for Bella. It shows his feelings run far deeper than mere words. When making a song, the composer is thinking about something and trying to describe it in music, be it a certain scene or a feeling or a person. It is like painting a portrait of something from your imagination, but with sound. The fact that Edward has composed a song for Bella shows that she is on his mind so much, he cannot help but have her come out through his music. The sweetness of the notes describe Bella in the way that he sees her.
I realize that by always talking about Edward’s many qualities, the guys who read this are about ready to throw something at me. After all, he is a piano-playing, sweet-talking, movie-star-looking vampire, with whom no real guy could go up against. However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere. So many guys these days can just tell girls what they want to hear, like a fake-Edward, in order to get what they want, and use shallow words to make it seem that they mean what they are saying. But the sincerity of Edward’s feelings towards Bella goes far beyond mere words or etiquette: he really does think about her all the time, and it’s the little things like his music that are a reflection of that fact.
On a completely different note, if this was the stereotypical vampire novel, this paragraph would happen differently:
“It’s nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home,” I added conventionally.
“Thank you,” Esme said. “We’re so glad that you came.”
Then she snickered. “But this room isn’t as beautiful as –“
She suddenly lunged to pull a nearby lever and shrieked. “–the dungeon!”
And that was the last we heard from Bella Swan.
——NOTES——
– I just finished a draft of a new song, and if anybody is interested I’d love to get you opinions on it. It’s part of a project I’m doing to compose a soundtrack score for my book. You can hear the song on this page and leave opinions for it there. I’m not sure how good I am at it, so any input is great 😀
– Remember – anyone who comments this week is entered in the contest for a Mitch Hansen CD from twilightteez.com . I’ll email winners next week. Oh, and if you want it, maybe mention somewhere in your comment like ‘gimme the CD!’ or similar, so I know who’s in 😉
– I have been getting lots of messages recently from girls apologizing for reading my site. For some reason, a few people think this site is only for guys. That is nonsense. Girls and guys are welcome, though I’m only looking for Twilight stories from Guys (on the Guys page).
– I apologize for a lack of new videos on my Youtube channel. I’m planning a few new ones very soon – time has been evading me. But I just wrapped up a completely new intro which is boatloads better than the last one. You’ll be seeing it soon.
– If you won a prize either through a post or TwilightGuys Report, I will be getting an email to you at the end of this week for your shipping info. I’m just super behind due to exams and 4 chapters I am now forced to read tonight between…midnight and 2 AM 😀 . No sleep for the Twilight Guy!
253 Responses
Great blog today. I think you hit everything right on the nose, especially the part about the lullaby. The lullaby has to be one of my favourite parts of the whole book. I’m excited to hear it in the movie.
I don’t know if there have been many suggestions on the lullaby, or even if this song has already been suggested. I don’t remember who had suggested it, but on a board someone mentioned River Flows In You by Yiruma. It’s a beautiful piece of piano music that I simply refer to as Bella’s Lullaby whenever I talk about it. You should check it out. To me, everything Edward feels about Bella is displayed in that song.
Oh yeah, I’d love to be included in that CD drawing!
I love your sight! You really do get why we all love it so much. By the way, a CD would be great :).
Wow Kaleb… that was so insightful! The picture of the dummies book was hilarious… I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life… And emse pushing Bella into the dungeon… so funny.
You do a great job of interpreting the book and showing why is girls love it sooo much…
P.S. Gimmie a CD! lol
P.P.S. Will you marry me? lol.
I throughly enjoy your editing of the dialog.
Oh, and, ‘gimme the CD!’
-I- would never ask for a prize so flat out! To think people -want- it so badly as to beg! How presumptuous! True, -the Mitch Hansen- band is awesome, and their -CD- would be a great treasure, but -I- would never beg for it! It’s crazy what people will do for something they -want-! You could always buy -it now-! It’s better than begging someone to -give- you a hand out! -It-‘s so sad what people will do for freebies these days! It sickens me -to- the bone! Listen to -me-, you beggers! Stop this -now-! You are setting a bad example!
=D Read between the lines, yo.
I WANT THE CD!!!!
i think that guys really need to learn from not only edward, but u! ur totally awesome kaleb and i love the way u notice stuff others, like me for example, miss. u rock!!
i just listened to the song that was for the chapter and, OMG its amazing
Kaleb you are HILARIOUS!!! Seriously I balled over laughing over you with the whole “goblen and ‘eat Bella'” LMAO!
PS: GIVE ME THE CD!! MUHAHA >: D
WOAH!!!! this website is absolutely ah-mazing! no joke!!!
I WANT THE CD.
and for you to email me, since you seem to be slacking. get your little gnome-slaves to work faster!
I must buy that book! 😉 I predict it to be quite an interesting read haha
Nice post, it is uber funny. I especially liked the for dummies and the comma moving. I don’t think you’re a bit pretentious. Please don’t stop writing the whole “we writers” thing, just because of one silly person.
Also as you said to say “gimme the CD!” 🙂
WOW you really understand edward! OMJ ARE YOU EDWARD CULLEN?? hahaha love your blogs!
Gimme the CD!!
Now, for my real comment.
You are so intutive to twilight, it’s amazing. What you said about Edward writing a song for Bella… I never really thought about it like that.
Kaleb,
For the record, you are soooo NOT pretentious! How does calling yourself what you are make you pretentious? I don’t get that at all…
I’ll bet you’re going to make some young lady very happy some day.
If I ever have a boyfriend again (which isn’t too likely since I’m almost old enough to be your grandmother). Even so, IF I ever do, I’m sending him to you for training. Just so you know…If an old guy shows up at your door someday and says Kasandra sent him you’ll know what he’s there for. 😀
I know it’s not set in stone at all for Rob to write the lullaby for the movie, but… I REALLY hope he does. That would just be so incredibly cool.
I’m listening to your song as I type. I like. 🙂 Especially the second half.
Oh. Ok. Duh. “Gimme the CD!”
Hi Kaleb!
Wow. I found your site and I love it. You have a great sense of humor. I love the pictures you post….I think the Dummy book you posted today is by far the best one! I would totally buy it if I could…haha!
And as you put it, Gimme the CD!!!
Thanks, Bella
Okay, I just listened to your music. I LOVED it! You have some serious Edward going on there! So you’re a writer AND a composer – do you cook, too? You know, I have a daughter…
So I’ve been sharing the twilightguy.com stories with my guy friend, and I have finally convined him to read Twilight after telling him the success story that some of the guys on here had with girls after reading the books! Hopefully, you’ll be getting some e-mails from him soon sharing his Twilight stories. You and your site are an inspiration.
P.S. – Gimme the CD!!!
Oh, god. I laughed so loudly at your little editing of Esme’s line, that my dad keeps glancing over at me every few minutes to make sure I’m not going to go into some sort of psychiatric break down (which – being me – really isn’t that unlikely…).
Also, you’ve made me curious. What would be in this book about dressing to meet your boyfriend’s vampire family? Hmm. Does it have to be a blue shirt? I like green.
Great as usual!
PS: I’d like the CD… 😀
Oh Edward and his incredible piano skills. That chapter always makes me happy. And id have to agree with someone whos comment i read above…It’d deff be Rosalie pulling the lever to the dungeon. Not Esme. :D.
Anyways terrific job. You once again ahmazed me at how well you understand Twilight.
P.s. Gimme the Cd. lol. Seriously tho. 😉
I would just like to let you know how insightful your comments are for girls too. It helps to understand the book even more than I thought possible! Also, it has helped freshen my memory on the little things in a relationship you tend to over look after time. I myself am coming up on my five year anniversary (this Sat.) and I’m very excited to be reminded to not take anything for granted and appriciate the time we do have!
Thank you
p.s. “gimme the Cd”
I have posted a comment on a couple of your posts, but I just want to say that I LOVE reading your blog, plus you’re from Texas, as I, and that makes you awesome to the extreme.
Now to my response.
I took [b]A[/b] piano lesson when I was younger. I don’t really remember what happened, but I didn’t go back. Now I’m a college freshman at Tech and am part of the marching band there. I have been playing flute for 9 years now and although playing flute has changed my life, I really wish I could’ve stayed in piano lessons. My parents recently bought a piano and now I try to play as much as I can whenever my step mom isn’t on a conference call.
The way that you described the feeling that music gives you is so true. I remember my last HS concert, and just playing the piece brought tears to my eyes, because of the picture and emotions it was giving me. When a person plays piano, well, it can bring you happiness, sadness, romance, anything. I want to be able to portray that by learning piano.
Sorry so long.
=]
college sophomore **
I felt I needed to change that detail.
haha
Mmmmm… Excellently put, Kaleb. I must agree that I am looking forward to this scene. I dearly hope they put it in the movie. Even if they don’t, I know they are writing a track for the soundtrack which will be the lullaby. As long as I can HEAR those notes that Edward wrote… oh, I’m sure it will be amazing…
MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN!!!!!!! Want CD nowwwww…
Kaleb,
I am completely an totally amazed at your insightfulness. You really seem to grasp the intensity and depth Edward and Bella’s relationship-something that I didn’t fully realize until I had reread the book several times. I think it’s fantastic that you’re able to understand why Edward’s character appeals to us girls so much 🙂 You’ve got it totally figured out!
And, by the way, I don’t think you’re being pretentious at all. You are a writer, and you’re not bragging about it (even though you could :D). I think it’s really funny the way that you find double meanings in the quotes 😀
And, about your song, I really, really enjoyed it. It makes me really, really want to read the book! You described Bolton Road as a place full of ideas and emotions. I think that song really encompassed a range of feelings and ideas and such, and the way you put them together made the song sound beautiful. I don’t know much about music, but I thought it was really good :] (Btw, I would like the CD…good luck choosing, I’m sure there’s a lot of people here who deserve it C:) I look forward to listening to more of your compositions in the future. ^__^
I hope your enjoying Twilight! 🙂
-Addie
ok so…
i totally want that cd!
=]
i heart you twilight guy!
I seriously appreciate you doing this. I’m the only one of my friends that’s ever really loved to write (and if I’m being honest, was ever good at it), and it’s really refreshing hearing about this book from the mind of someone else that writes.
It’s really great to know that I’m not the only one that picks apart wording and sentence structure!
And I’ll admit, I am a Mitch Hansen fan.
CD wanting over here! lol Yet another insiteful post Mr.! Great job!
Even if you were just reading the book, I’d be amazed. You read it AND understand it though, its great. You actually put the amount of thought into each chapter that most twilighters do.
Good luck on exams!
P.S. Want that cd! =P
OMC! I heart you!! For dummies! hehehe thats funny. I love all the stuff you twist around and make funny. You are seriously like Edward! His personality and yours are very simular. That’s soo cool!
I <3 You!!!!!!!
AND I would lie the CD please!!
I <3 you!!
And also I forgot! There is only one guy I have heard of that can compare to Edward! Guess who? YOU!!!
*shrug*
Gimme the CD!!!!!
hehe =P
Yes. Sincerity is amazing ^_^
And I realize why this site is so helpful to guys.
Then guys ask their girl friends what the big deal about Edward is, its always, “Oh, he is soooo kinda and sexy and amazing, and blah blah blah…”
We leave out “He is so sincere!”
I’ll have to put thta in the next time some one asks me why I love Edward so much =D
Someone should come up with a “Reading Twilight for Dummies” That would be halarious! lol
oh!! and I am so in for the Cds! =]
I totally agree–the sincerity makes all the difference in the world. Personally I don’t care too much if my boyfriend reads the Twilight books; it would probably make him sappier than he already is and I don’t know if I could handle it. But I think that it is good for guys to understand just what it is that fascinates girls about fictional characters like Mr. Darcy, Mr. Thornton and, I don’t know, Edward Cullen. Though, I really don’t want my guy to try to BE Edward–just to understand and aquire some of his better attributes.
On a lighter note, I loved your “for Dummies” cover. Really clever and highly entertaining. Also, I completely agree with you on the piano. There’s not a single instrument that is more beautiful to me. And truthfully, this chapter is when I really fell for Edward. Before then it was a girlish crush, but once I found out he could play the piano (and well!) it was true love. It shows a certain dedication and determination within ones character that is very aimiable.
AHAA! You’re amazing. =) and hilarious!
The hardest question is.
Do you understand how a girl would feel when they read the book?!
Since you have pretty much deconstructed it completely. =x
hee!
I enjoyed your composition. I’m a musician myself and I think you’re quite an amazing musician for a guy who “whined and quit piano” at a young age. =P
Keep it up! xD
LwY
Ah, this chapter had me on the edge of my seat.
I felt nervous throughout the whole chapter. Haha.
Ah, Love your updates as always (:
I thought I was just mental and had no reason to like Edward…before I came to this site. YOU SERIOUSLY ROCK!
I stared at the “Just eat Bella” thing for 5 full seconds before comprehending it, then burst into sudden hysterical laughter LOL!
i love your blog, twilight guy! i know i enjoy, and i hope other female fans do too, hearing your music and finding out what a guy thinks of the twilight saga. there are far too many men in the world who think the books are just for “chicks.” you have a great sense of humor as well. so keep up all the good work you’ve been doing.:)
p.s. gimme that cd!
Thanks for making this blog! You’re really hilarious, I love reading your writing, it seems very effortless and flowing. Because of this I’m seeing Twilight in a whole new way 😀
P.S The CD would be awesome. 🙂
P.S I just listened to the song to this chapter.
It’s…amazing. 😮
Well, I’ve already commented earlier this week, but I’d love that CD, so… gimme the CD =D I do like their music (having listed to it via Myspace), so it would be really cool to own the CD.
I got to say I loved that picture of the Dummies book. I laughed so hard I snorted lol
I’m so grateful to you Kaleb because you are showing guys out there why we love Edward so much. Without even trying you just get it. ^_^
oh and….. “gimme the CD”
hahaha
I love that you really understand Edward 🙂 You’re showing guys just how great he is and how to pick up his traits. Really, i’d be swooning at any guys feet who quoted Edward.
“You are my life now…”
*stares at him in a drooling manner*
“Erm, Kelsie? Are you okay?”
*dives towards him*
“ARG! I LOVE YOU!!!”
It’d go something like that.
I love the song for the chapter too 🙂
Oh, and ‘gimme the CD!’ lol.
Wait, so did you get that whole “Just eat Bella” thing from a real different book that just happened to have the same character names, or did you rewrite that on your own? Either way it’s completely hilareous, but I’m just curious.
hahaha i love the “How to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family”
nice!
oooh!
and GIMME THE CD!!
Haha if they sold that copy for dummies, I would so totally buy it!
I love the fact that in this chapter we have an extremely bubbly Alice greet Bella. That was awesome and the looks on Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were priceless.
ooh and GIMME THE CD!
200!! GIMME THE CD!